My story: the ex, the guy, and LOA.

[onetwothreefour]

Beware dear reader, it is a long story, and it is probably still very far from it's catharsis.

I created this article, because to: first of all, share my story, and to have a static place that i can update, if it becomes necessary.

I am part of the huge camp of LOA practitioners who are trying to get their ex back. My story started approximately four years ago. When i met a wonderful woman, who was 8.5 years my senior. The attraction between us was obvious from the beginning. I was still a boy, in many sense, so i was unable to properly interpret my feelings for her at the time, but it is apparent now, from hte distance of four years that i fell in love with her instantly. I was a precocious child, and i became a precocious teenager, and eventually a precocious adult. I could never find company in hte group of my generation. I was somehow always an outsider. An adult among children. And by this i was lonely in most of my childhood. So i quess it is quite understandable we i fell in love with her. And why she fell in love with me as well. We had a lot in common. And slowly but steadily this love became mutual. We were really alike, in temperament, in personality, in likes, dislikes, in thinking. And it is interesting that our smiles were so alike too. When i look into the mirror (well i find it hard to smile recently, but when i do) i see her face, her reflection in the mirror. Our love, wasn't about passion, it wasn't sexual. It was platonic, but very real. It was a silent love. But somehow i always had the feeling, that it is only the silence before the storm. That our love will be fulfilled one day. And, oh boy... she loved me very much. A single glance of mine was enough to turn her all red. A smile of mine was enough to make her entire week glamorous. And it was true vice versa. We always smiled in each others company, when we were together i felt as if the entire world would have stopped. We were the only ones who lived, we were only ones who loved, we were the only ones who mattered. And it was the most beautiful time in my life. But after a while we both let our anxieties, worries to creep into this promising relationship. There was the age difference, and by that came the fear that it isn't right. That this is somehow destined to end up miserable. So we both started to become more obsessive and less loving toward the other, and possessiveness started. I became very distant to her, because i was afraid, i was afraid that i will mess something up, that she might not love me at all et cetera. And i saw it in her eyes too. Eventually i sad hurtful things unintentionally, and she said hurtful thing intentionally. We got estranged from one another. The final months were hellish. I was jealous at everyone she talked to. And she acted antagonistic towards me. It is quite hard for me to express in words the true nature of our relationship. The exact way things had happened. And every little experience that created this all. But eventually we departed. Because of the pain this relationship caused me, i decided to give it up. I wanted love. Not possessiveness, not anxiety. So i had started to slowly delete her from my life, i destroyed every picture, just everything that reminded me of her. I continued this till the point my room felt completely naked, and there wasn't a single thing in it from the last years. I feng shui'd everything. I made my love corner, my love altar. created a magic box, a vision map, wrote a list about my ideal mate. And of course visualised a happy life with that mate. The first time i got introduce to LOA i wrote a list, in which i wanted my now Ex to contact me (she later did), i wanted to meet her, i wanted her to love me again, i wanted our love to be revived. But eventually i threw this letter away in my room, and it landed behind my desk, and i forgot it. I last saw her in June. I last contacted her in June. I sent her a message in which i thanked her for all the good things, and wished her a happy future. She never replied. The last day we talked in person, i felt tha way i used to feel. I felt that pure love i have when there were no worries, no anxieties in this relationship. And i saw it in her eyes that she was in pain, that she regretted everything that destroyed the us, the we, and created the you and i. After this i was devastated, and completely hopeless. I felt as if she was part of my soul. That before i met her i was incomplete. And that after i lost her i became incomplete again.

I was drunk for a few days. I went hitchhiking. Not a good combination. But after that i again decided to forget her. I focused on my ideal mate. And in three weeks i was fine. For three years i had been thinking about her every day, but then it was nothing, the picture of my future wife replaced her's in my mind. I was happy. Now i know that i was in the vortex. Then things started to get stirred up. During a complete cleanup in my room, i found the letter i wrote when i got introduced to LOA. I laughed at it and burned it. That night i dreamt about her. I dreamt about her for four nights in a row. Im these dreams we were happy. We were in love with each other.

In one of those dreams she came out of a house holding two copies of "The shack" in her hand. As she walked past me she smiled, and walked away towards the local mall. I had rented out "The shack" a month ago from the local library, and it rent time has expired a few days after the dream, so i returned it. Then i had the feeling that i gotta buy it from the mall. So there i went, and bought the book. As i left the mall i saw her sitting on a bench with her friend. It stuck me. My heart beat so hard that i nearly fainted. But it left. I didn't go there to talk to her.

Since then i cannot push her out of my mind. From that point i fell in love with her again. Five months have passed. And i love her just as much as i did when i first met her. I wrote another letter to the universe in which i asked for a few things. I asked to see her in the street, i asked to see her online on facebook, i wanted her to contact me, i wanted her to love me again, i wanted to marry her, and to establish a family together. I have been battling with depression for a month now, so i am unable to think positively. A week ago, i saw her in the street. I saw her online on FB a few days ago. I feel that the universe is trying to mock me. Because according to her FB activities she is happy. I think she forgot me altogether. And i am living hell on earth. Switching between suicidal thought and complete madness.

Oh yeah... i nearly forgot to mention, my angel experiences. Sorry for being so incoherent in my writing, but
first: i am exhausted because of University.
second: i am tired because of depression.
I got a free angel reading in the summer in which archangel Michael told me (if it is all true) that i must work on myself, and the reading was otherwise deadly accurate. It said: "You should work on yourself not on the relationship you want now. You can't attract that perfect lover from the place of desperation. Michael urges you not to let the fear of being alone freighten you anymore. You must work on yourself before you can attract your one and only mate for this lifetime. And she is mot in the place where she can attract you either, because of her personal issues."
I have many more good LOA success experiences. And i am planning to share them, but right now i have to leave.

[Mr positive]

yeah wow had similar story, like today i dreamed that i was going out with my ex, than all of a sudden she says she will see me later and than she went to see another guy... my dreams about her always ends in her going out with some 1 else lol! I been doing no contact well, very little contact but she is saying did i do anything you seem real short and quiet! I am in that place to man, its hard when you love some 1 and they dont seem to love you back! I tho, think it will be awesome when we both have success stories ! Keep up the faith!

[onetwothreefour]

I used to have those dreams too. Not too often tho. But when i rarely dreamt about her she was distant. But recently i started to have dreams about her. In which she initiates physical contact. And a few days ago i dreamt that i was with her in her apartment. Strange.

[Mr positive]

yeah, i cant keep dreaming like this lol! Its really awkward but i have no idea how no contact will do anything, ppl say when you allready have contact with a ex its a really bad idea to do no contact because they will just disappear out of your life forever.. thats not what i want tho! I guess every 1 is right tho, when i said ok to be friends i helped her get over me, and it made it easier for her to date other ppl and not think about me! Now she has a chance to lose me for good so maybe she will treat me better? Lol yeah i got faith that we both will have success stories before the end of this year!

[LeyLine]

@onetwothreefour,

hey friend

i hope you do realize that there is no real reason for your negative feelings and thoughts...its all in your mind...its your own fears actually, nothing more and nothing less. The universe has already responded to your requests, and you still choose to be desperate instead of excited! I think that the reason youve been dreaming of her lately and you feel that you love her again, is because she has the same feelings!! shes attracting YOU! attraction always works both ways, you see. So...instead of overanalyzing and thinking and getting desperate, why dont you do something simpler? Next time you see her on facebook or in the street...just talk to her! You never know, right?

Much love

Leyline

[irishgirl69]

I agree with Leyline, the Universe is providing you with so many opportunities to be in her life again but YOU have to act on them.  So she seems happy on Facebook.  Does that mean that she wouldn't be happy to hear from you?  Does that mean that she isn't thinking about you?  Would you rather see her unhappy?  People live their lives - it doesn't mean that they don't hope for more.

[onetwothreefour]

Thank you for your answers. They helped me get into the vortex yesterday, and i am still in.

I think i have already shared this story, but hereby i am ging to do it again.

So after we split i visualised my ideal mate. My perfect lover. I set the intention for her to be completely like me in personality, i visualised and lived as if she was already with me. But i didn't continue this, because i fell in love with my ex again. This was two-three months ago. But in one of my classes i met a girl who looks exactly like the girl i visualised as my ideal mate. And her FB profile is the exact copy of mine. We like the same things, basically everything is the same except some details. It is freightening. I got what i asked for months ago. So in my case once i let go of the outcome it takes two-three months to manifest something this big. It is a great reminder for me. So maybe things will start to fall into place with these new intentions i have.

[abhi]

Hi,

Could you please teach me how to be in Vortex.

Love

[onetwothreefour]

Sorry. I still have a lot to learn. My cup is nearly empty still. But i can recommend you to watch Abraham Hicks videos on youtube. And i recommend you to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). And of course Meditation. Good luck!!