My Quantum Leap Letter

[LeyLine]

Hi Everybody! This is a letter i sent to my ex, a few moments back...he gave me the opportunity to do it, and suddenly i was filled with divine inspiration, which we must always trust!!!!!! divine inspiration comes from the universal mind

Given the fact that once more u blocked me from skype, I decided to share my thoughts with u. First of all I want to reassure u that I never intended to call you on skype…we would videocall only if u initiated that. some time earlier u accused me of being a stalker that was hunting u from site to site, for which I can only thank u because u made me see myself with different eyes. This kind of behavior is bad for both of us, so I have stopped it.. I am not the same person u remember anymore…I have evolved. That means that I wont go around calling u or harassing u all the time or demanding things from u. I want to know if ur ok, yes…and if ur happy, and if ur making these choices that will make u more content and satisfied. I want to be able to come to u for ur advice if I have some kind of problem, as my advisor and trustee, and I want u to be able to do the same, without that nessecarily meaning that we must have some kind of romantic relationship. If u and I will have a relationship again, I guess that will come by itself, in a time when we will both want it and need it. I would like also to tell u that in case u told me u want to get back  together, I would answer that its better first to establish a friendship and learn to trust one another again, to have an honest relationship without misunderstandings or cursin, to have this kind of relationship where each one could say to the other what we really want and feel, without pressing each other, and leave some time for our lives too. Whether we like it or not the kind of relationship we used to have wasn’t so healthy.  My excess desire for you, made me put aside the basic elements of my character. In no other case I would submit so much, and find myself apologizing for things that I never did and never crossed my mind to do. And u, from ur side did things u wouldn’t normally do. So I guess this distance now between us, is an amazing chance for both of us to evaluate our behaviors and character, and think about what led us to act like that. I have took this time to think things over and improve myself and now the fact that u maybe have a girlfriend, or searching for one doesn’t hurt me. I don’t think I have the right to judge something that its ur right, and what I want to do here, has nothing to do with other girls. What I want is us to have a human relationship, first and foremost. As I said before, if were going to be together again, that will happen when and if we both want it. Maybe I haven’t let u understand, that my feelings, comparing to how I felt before, are different, not because I have a new relationship, but because I have decided that I have to improve the way I think and act, so that I can enjoy my life to the fullest.  Yes, I love u…yes I care about u..but right now I have learned to be happy without u too.This change of mine also contains understanding for other ppls behaviors, so now I know that, the opinion u have about me has nothing to do with something I do or don’t do, but with ur own memories, experiences and insecurities coming from ur past. I know, because I know u, that from all these that I have wrote u gonna keep only one or two points…most likely the *my feelings have changed* part. So I would advice u to reread my letter again and again, until u understand that not only I haven’t lost my feelings, but they are even more real now…but I choose not to focus on how girls u might have or how often u talk to me, but on YOU and ur well being. In a few words, what I would like to happen to u and to me, either apart or together, is to be really happy with our everyday lives, our choices, whatever that may mean, to be choices of our heart and not choices of our needs and everything we do to be sth that will fill us with joy and optimism for our future. And, because I love u, I will ask u this….try to listen to ur heart…silence ur mind and ur negative thoughts..heart always knows better. Act in a way that will make u really happy. You have nothing to be afraid of me. I wont misunderstand u…I wont judge…I wont even try to lead u towards one direction or another. I will be happy if u r happy with everything u do, even if that contains a communication with me or not. Don’t let ur life be consumed by fearful, negative, bitter thoughts. Try to attract joy and happiness in your life, in any way u find suitable. Smile to people and they will smile back. Give what u need and u shall receive it back. If u need smiles, smiles u will receive,. If u need happiness, happiness u shall receive. If u need love, love u shall receive. Only thing that u must do is listen to ur heart closely, and decide what is that that u really need. If u need happiness u have to work on that. When u want to say sth, say exactly what u feel, and don’t say what ur afraid of. For example, if u want to talk to me, don’t say *what are u doing?* being afraid that I have fun elsewhere…just say *I would like to talk to u because that would make me feel nice* and I will talk to u. And even if u don’t do anything else in ur life, know always that u have changed a life (mine) for the best. And this is something that not everyone can do. Thank u for being who u are, because who you are made me a more complete and happy person. I shall never forget it as long as I live and I will be grateful to u forever…whether im with u or not. For that alone, if not for anything else, u were loved, u are loved, and u will be loved

May we be happy with our choices

Love, Ersie

[Vicki Christina]

 
Ersie,   It looks like you got a lot of feelings and thoughts off of your chest in your letter to your boyfriend.  Hopefully, he will respond in a positive way and thank you for your thoughts.   If he does not respond, just know that he did get the letter and knows you are trying to work on your needs and accept the relationship as it is now.   I wrote a very lengthy letter years ago to a boyfriend who I had many ups and downs with - yes I sent it during a down time.   He did not respond, but I did hear from him a couple of months later and dated him again for a while.   Also I wrote a very short note to my current soul mate in the spring telling him that I was trying to accept things and move on to be happy after being apart from him for a couple of months with no contact, and I did not get a reply.  I did start getting positive messages from him a couple of months later where he said he was now able to communicate.  We text now and have had some phone conversations which are getting more frequent and more positive.  Keep your head up and keep visualizing love while you continue to work on yourself. VC

[LeyLine]

Vici hi...i dont care if i will get a respond or not, or what kind of respond i will take. See, i dont hate this guy, and i only wish him the best..because he had a very rough life and he deserves it. To me, he will always have a friend and someone to lean on - but i dont need him to be happy anymore. I know how to be happy with myself.
One of the things that LOA teaches us is to be grateful...and i will be greatful to this guy (bless his soul) because, if it wasnt for him and the way he broke up with him, i would never had started this beautiful self-improvement journey that can lead to true hapiness only. I know he has his own demons and issues to work on, and he has to find his own way out of the darkness....and if he ever asks for my help in that, i will be there to give him a hand.
Vici, i have reached what we call *unconditional love*. I love him and i will always do...but i wait nothing from him. I love him just for the joy of this wonderful feeling that builds up the universe....and now i know, that i can love like that again too....and that fills my heart with hapiness Im making my own life, and its gonna be awesome

Peace

[57angel]

@31, I am so happy for you of this huge self improvement that you did, this really inspires me to keep moving on. In my case, my ex was the third and that after I broke up with him, I really told myself that he next time will be a happy, fulfilling and lasting relationship. The Universe really grant my wishes and then The Secret landed in my handed. So then, I am now on my way though minor setbacks set in once in a while but I am sure that I will get there. We will all get to a life filled with joy, abundance and love:)

[DT]

this letter says you have put your heart in it.have tears.
cant say more.


bless you and may you get wat you want and all the happiness in d world.

[pachacuti]

Okay here's mine (it came out prettier in Spanish :

For the longest time I have had no idea what you are really thinking
and feeling. This has led me time after time down paths of supposition
and imagination. I saw myself without another option, as you shut down
and refused to tell me what was in your heart. Although in truth I
realize that you have kept your true heart shielded from me much
longer.

Now I see you doing the same thing with me. It has become clear to me
that, although I felt I was sincerely communicating my heart to you, I
failed and you were constantly second-guessing me, looking for chinks
and gaps. I can truly, honestly and sincerely tell you that I loved
you with all my fiber, I love you still with all my being and against
my better judgment I will love you until I take my dying breath.

But love to me is not exclusive, but inclusive. It's not limited, but
infinite. Love is both magical and real, both strong and fragile. But
you can't forget that love is a verb. It's something that you do. And
you must do it consistently and with care and attention or it will
fail to grow and will slowly appear dimmer and dimmer.

That is my concept of love. I continue to nurture my love for you
within me, in spite of everything. And my love is boundless. I have
enough love to give my child and in the giving it grows and thrives
and multiplies. I have more and more each day to give. My love may
simply be too big for you. But don't suppose for a minute that I will
ever let it go out. It is precious to me.

I have to thank you from the bottom of my soul for all the memories of
love and joy we shared. Even if it weren't for that miraculous little
life growing inside you, know that you will forever be with me. You
have marked me permanently. And I cherish that and am grateful for it.
Oddly, both the good and the bad equally fill my spirit with a sweet
nostalgic joy that warms me. And I get to enjoy this feeling for the
rest of my days. So thank you, thank you.

Thank you also for the end of our relationship. I cannot deny that
this has been by far the hardest thing I have ever had to endure, but
it has given me a chance to evolve and grow as a man. I am a different
person that the one you left behind. I don't know if you will ever
know the man I have become. You may know, however, that I am secure
and confident, and happy. I can distance myself emotionally from those
things that cause me pain and see them for what they are. I have
learned to let go. yet at the same time I have incorporated the
loving, sentimental me in the mix. So I don't have to become cold and
unfeeling. I have you to thank for this. You pushed me to turn within
myself and find the strength to be happy. You were right that I have
to be happy myself. You helped me want to learn to do that.

I hope you practice what you preach and you find happiness. I hope you
too can learn that there is nothing that will make you happy: no
person, no situation, no thing. Just as there is nothing that can
prevent you from happiness. It is all within yourself. You have to be
happy to see happiness around you. I hope you take that to heart and
learn to be happy. That way you can also make all those who surround
you happy as well.

I forgive you for everything. I am sure that one day you will find it
within you to forgive me as well. I hope you do so sooner, rather than
later, because to carry that burden around with you will only add to
the stress you feel. I know that when both of us transcend to that
place of mutual forgiveness, we will be able to establish a different
relationship. It will most certainly be one neither of us expected.

The future looks very exciting. We have our marvelous little child on
its way who will brighten of her surroundings with joy and laughter.
But we also have all kinds of new horizons to explore. We have the
whole world laid out before us and it is a world of abundance. If we
know how to be happy and express and follow our desires, we will be
able to take part in all that there is to be had. And our little
daughter will the one to benefit from the largess. How wonderful it
is to be alive and to welcome another tiny life among us. Yet one more
thing that I have to be grateful to you for. Thank you. Thank you so
very much.

[Vicki Christina]

Pachacuti,   That is a wonderful letter.  You have a gift.   I hope she appreciates all of your thoughts and feelings which are penned so beautifully.  VC   

[pachacuti]

I wonder if she'll even read it.  And if she does, if she will manage without rolling her eyes.  Oops.  Sorry, was failing in my visualization

[Bubbles]

Hahah Mark you are funny lol

[57angel]

Oh my, my heart was almost about to melt reading your letter Mark

[pachacuti]

Hoo boy! Man did that ever piss her off! She definitely notices I am different (noticed that I talk of God more often, there is a change in my words).  She accuses me of making her feel guilty of harboring resentment. Too bad it was chat and not actual phone conversation, so she could have heard how calmly I stated everything I did.  She got very threatening towards the end, so who knows what she is planning.  The thing that almost made me laugh out loud is this: I am sending (still) loads of money to her (which is going to stop soon, so I will get another fun conversation out of it) and have been very good to her from day one (too good say many, and obviously now she does not deserve it and what's more is I don't deserve it).  Anyway, we have two cars, mine and one I purchased new so she would have a new car.  When she left I told her I was going to sell mine and stay with just the one.  Now, she started saying that I could send her the new car and that it might be better for ME (FOR ME!!!).  I told her point blank that no car would be coming from the US and she should look for her own car.  She then went off about how I wouldn't help her unless we were a couple.  I just said, especially given the way you treat me. I can tell you can barely stand me.  Why should I want to help someone like that.

On my side, I was able to carry out this extremely stressful conversation calmly and with great indifference. It was nice. It was really nice to see the worst come out in her.  I keep hoping she will show the good again, but she never fails to disappoint. Maybe that is my lack of visualization, but if you have been playing along at home, I think you would agree that it is an example of there not being a Law of Assertion.

Now we ride this roller coaster to see where it gets me.  Thank God for LOA.  It keeps me happy and focused. It has given me back my dignity, my self-respect and my inner peace. It has helped me see a reality that I had hidden from myself for a long, long time.

Now, my friends, go forth and manifest

Mark

[Bubbles]

Congratulations Mark Well done

I concur with you on this.

"It keeps me happy and focused. It has given me back my dignity, my self-respect and my inner peace. It has helped me see a reality that I had hidden from myself for a long, long time."

It makes you stop questioning the mundanity of one's existence and to go out and start doing something for yourself. Which in turn makes you realize you have always had the ability to control the way you see things, feel things and do things all this time - something which I believe everyone of us (even great people) have lost track of at least once in their lives.

It's great to know we've learn how to differentiate what are the things we can control and what are the things we can't. For the things we can't, there is no need to get upset, desperate or depressed about because it was never meant for us to control.

"Never let what you can't do interfere with what you can"

Cheers!

[pachacuti]

Thanks Bubbles. Since I have realized the lack of control I have over others, I only care about me.  My wife accused me of being selfish (and if you have been paying attention, I think my actions totally belie that accusation), but I have discovered that the problem has been that I haven't been selfish enough.  So, now it's about me.  Caring for me, I allow myself to have enough to share.

And my wife is playing right into my hands. She just doesn't see herself, because if she did, she would be embarrassed. I have a few more surprises in store for her this week (none of them of the literary variety... that time is past). By the time we make it to next week, she will have no idea who I am.  Welcome to my world, baby, welcome to my world.

It's going to be a FUUUNNN week, my friends. Let the LOA reign.

Mark

[Sweet Spirit]

You Go Mark! Yeah baby!!

I am cheering for ya. You are too good for that woman. I'm glad you've been able to let go and realize how much happier you can be without her.
As for me, I have been happily doing a lot of soul searching and I realize how I expected too much of my boyfriend. I can't believe he stayed in our relationship as long as he did, especially after getting a job in another state last year. He could have moved on then, but he chose to stay in a relationship with me and I blew it. I realize now how much he really did love me. I hope its not too late to try and attract him back. I know I hurt him with all the doubts I had about thinking he was using me. I was such a fool!!! Oh well, I am going to work on me, try to attract him back, and then one day after I manifest wealth (and I WILL) I will contact him and offer to help him out as a friend. Hopefully by then he will realize he really belongs with me.

I am so glad we all came together in this forum. It has helped me so much!!!

Thank you Mark. You are a true gem!

-Mel

[Vicki Christina]

Mark,  I really like your new attitude of self worth and respect.    It is a great big step to manifesting a happy life.   Keep up the good work and I am sure you will find the balance of integrity, humility, and perseverance along with the assertiveness you are displaying!!!

Melanie,  I am sure your soul mate has to eventually feel the energy you are sending out to the universe that shows you are strong and you are love. It is written all over your recent postings!!!

May today's journey be bountiful!  Vicki Christina