Loosing faith. How to know I am on the right path?

[TeletubbieJellyPie]

I am a pioneer and aim high, but am weak at carrying out without being constantly encouraged or assisted by others. As soon as someone disapproves of my goals, I feel extremely discouraged and lost - and this has been happening ever since I have asked questions on this forum, especially when I asked specific clarifications on LOA but received vague and contraddicting answers

Let me explain my goal again, very briefly: I found a very special person last year and we were perfect together for 4-5 months, but we didn't make a commitment to each other when she left abroad.

I wanted to apply LOA to find ways to bring us back together and make our love "official". I was very positive and enthusiastic at the beginning, with high results, and even found an opportunity to go and actually LIVE with her (an unknown but very competitive university program in her city).

But the more I read, the more I found advice that was in conflict with my own vision: e.g. the whole advice on "How to get back an ex" (which was also suggested to me) actually felt more like "How to be a happy single again and make your ex jealous or find someone better".
LOA originally says that we should "behave and feel as if we already have something", yet most of the advice here is a perfect description of what people should do when they are single and hunting for new partners.

As a matter of fact, when I used the advice here, I was approached by many new women and was less and less in touch with the girl I love. It may be a good according to many, but for me the original goal is more important than anything or anyone else.

All this has created a lot of doubts and confusion in me, and at the moment I feel as if there's a huge distance, not only geographical, but also emotional, between me and that girl. On top of that, due to my confusion, I wasn't able to focus well enough on studies and apply for that program in her city.

I would be very seriously grateful to you if you could help with some ideas to re-establish our connection, and hopes to live together with her again. Maybe you could also help me figure out what I may have done right or wrong in this whole process.

My guess is that I started behaving like a single (following most "getting back your ex" advice), when in reality I should have behaved as if I was already married.
What do you think?

Thank you. I hope I will find some productive and creative ideas.

[dhruv]

Dear Friend,

First of all..Be calm ( Oh my god , It reminds me how Galina and Ankur hendled me in begining..thanks)

I am also still learning so i would not say what you should do.Rather i would say what helped me

1.I was very clear that " He loves Me".So i adopted Getting Ex back advices not the "General Search"
2.I decided very clearly what i want
3.I think of only Positive End results - No matter what he did to me, or what other telling in my case and Today everybody speaks my language that " You are made for eachother and going to reunited for good
4.I started affirmations and visulization which made me strengthning my Faith and realising Fear that " What he is doing ,is he thinking for me or not ...." Oh common that is his headache My concern is " I LOVE HIM BAADLY and I FEEL him Everywhere..And when sometimes i feel down i visulize us together"
5.And the last thing is " PRAYER IS POWER" ..Now a days i feel so close to GOD and i thank God for giving me the chance to go closer to him

Thats all...I am still learning But i am sure that now things will be only Better and Better than Yesterday because i have changed my ATTITUDE to look at the things.

I know it is not the same customized words you wanted but i know for sure that it is goint to help you.

And one thing for sure " If you love somebody truly , and you go with 1000 woman /men you will land into the hug of one "YOU LOVE BADLY
Love

Sunidhi

5.

[TeletubbieJellyPie]

Thank you Sunidhi. I did all of that, and I also pray a lot since I am very religious =)

This is what happened:
After doing all that I got the impression of receiving instructions in my mind on how to behave, and everytime I got a sudden idea I "followed the universe's advice" and behaved that way!

For example, after feeling extremely positive by using LOA, I got the sudden idea that I should chat with her more often. I followed that idea - but she got angry and behaved as if I was pestering her (she stopped answering to all my questions... a bit like on this forum after a few posts  )

So basically I think I am confused on how specifically to interpret the messages and signs, when to seize the opportunity, and when not to, etc.

For example: I do all the things, feel positive about her, manifest love, imagine being with her all the time, am GRATEFUL of her, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. and I get the sudden idea "You must apologize for something you did 5 months ago!" - I chat with her and start talking about it... and she gets totally angry with me for bringing up the past.

!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

At the moment I feel that after my actions in the last 4-5 weeks she's emotionally ignoring me even when we chat.

I manifest, I did EVERYTHING that's written here, but I don't know which specific BEHAVIOR to take when I am INTERACTING WITH HER!

And now I truly feel like as if she's treating my like dirt.

[dhruv]

Can You try " No initiation for chating with her "? I think in most of the posts here it i clearly said , when you attract a specific person you dont run after him/her.
I did the same .

Moderators and Members may furthr help you.

Love
Sunidhi

[TeletubbieJellyPie]

So are you saying that I should not follow the instructions that I receive through signs/messages from the universe?

I tried that as well: since 4 days I didn't initiate - and she didn't initiate either.

This is the point: before "following the LOA signs" we spoke like a brother and a sister, every day about everything, and I really want that to return!

 

[mkitten]

Hi dear TTJP,
I think there is a big difference between initiating the contact out of FEAR and NEED, or just to drop her a happy and content message sometimes. Also I wouldn't worry about loosing the contact for a week or two. Let her really MISS you
I think there it's not contradictory when you actually stop chasing the other one, but at the same time have faith and believe with all your heart that once you'll be reunited. So you basically live your life happy and content (and NOT waiting or in need) KNOWING that everything will work out the way you want it.

Kitten

[Galia]

Hello TeletubbieJellyPie,

Can you please take a minute and step out of your body and see how you look like from the oustide?

A needy person, dependend on your ex's reactions, unhappy, trying to control the process and micro-analysing everything...

Where's detachement, where is the love for yourself, where is your self respect?

You need absolutely to fix that very quickly!

Read this article here , it will help you and you'll reacognise yourself for sure somewhere on the way: http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/6/bible-of-getting-your-ex-back-dns-post/msg1970/#msg1970



1.People are attracted to lovers who are self-confident, who know themselves, who are independent, strong-minded, and FUN! When you're sitting around moping over your ex, you're not having any fun!!

2.So, improve yourself. Work on yourself. Love yourself! This is what attracts him or her back to you! People have natural chemistries. You and your ex obviously possessed a natural chemistry. It doesn't matter how far apart you keep sodium (Na) from chloride (Cl) the instant they are close enough to each other, they WILL form salt (NaCl), period! Same for you and your ex if you get back on track. So make it about you starting NOW!

3.When other women show interest in you, it sends a strong biological signal to your ex that you are desirable to other women. She’ll wonder if something about you is new.

4.See, one thing I've seen on this board and boards like them, is that too many people here are trying to micro-manage, control, or over-analyze the process. In some other arena, it would be the use of manipulation

5.Someone perfectly using the Law would be happy, and expectant. They would move on with their life with no concern that their former lover would eventually return

6.UGLY TRUTH 3: When you want an ex back, what you are saying is "I don't want to be responsible for my own happiness. It is too hard and difficult for me to do. So, please, can you just do this job for me by being my lover again? Can you please be the god of my life? Because I don't want to do it myself."

7.THEY HAVE GIVEN THEIR POWER, WILL, OR INDEPENDENCE TO THEIR EXES Since your power BELONGS TO YOUR EX, the Law respects THEIR WISH and not yours on the matter!

8.RULE 2: To get a NEW relationship with your ex, you must LET GO of the OLD relationship.

9.Silence creates mystery.

[stevelewis]

TTJP... I have to agree with you that the getting your ex back and the bible guides, are more of a being happy either way, and annoyed me to start with, that this wasn't a getting your ex back guide. But you DO need to be happy on your own (what if your ex died 2moro for example), you need to be happy on your own. I've reconnected with old friends, met new friends, lost a load of weight, stopped smoking, met up with three new women in a dating arrangement. And I feel great. In under 2 months since the break up, I HAVE now let go, and actually the current lady I'm dating is proving to be very promising, and I'm just gonna see where it goes...

I still think about my ex, but I gave her a chance to meet and talk and stuff, and she ignored it. Since then she has tried to initiate contact 3 times, and I've just ignored it TBH. I hadn't quite let go, and I have to. This current relationship who knows where it'll go, but I'll be honest and take things easy (I was a desperate wreck and threw myself at my ex, how attractive was that...)

You say "Oh I didn't contact her for 4 days, and she hasn't initiated any contact..." 4 DAYS?! I left my ex over two weeks, and she contacted me saying she missed things about our relationship. Im sorry mate, but she DOES need her space, as do you. The 2nd woman I started seeing when I realised it wasn't what I wanted, I thought hmmm should I contact ex again? No I still wasn't ready, then I found someone else, and it's very very early days, but I'll have some fun, and enjoy that time with her.

How long has it been since last contact, and I mean anything?! I would make sure there is NO contact for at least a month. As much as it sounds weird, I started to do things that I thought I wouldn't be able to (listen to certain songs, watch TV shows, visit places, etc) without getting upset. I did them and smiled and looked back fondly, and the memories are there and make you feel good. The one thing I still can't do is look at a piccy of her for more than a minute without getting upset. I've not looked at a photo of her for a week or so, and definately stopped looking back at cards, messages, etc, etc that were nice. I NEEDED TO LET GO. I may still not be 100% there, but I'm defo a lot closer. And I knew no-one in this area, I've met loads of new and old people, I'm too busy now to even worry about her too much!

So my advice is to continue to meet new people, LEAVE her well alone. DONT look at things that remind you of her, especially if they upset you. Try to do things you enjoyed doing together if you WANT to do that, and enjoy it by yourself or with someone else. Leave it a good 3 - 4 weeks before you contact her, and then just call her up and say hi. If she don't answer don't leave a message. Crikey I do sound like that bible of getting your ex back, but it IS true. I'm not 100% sure on the 3, 6, 12 month part, but I'm only at 2, and I think 3 would be fine! I've had contact even a laugh with her since. Take it easy m8! Thoughts with ya!