LOA must be practiced at all times in order to hold on to the good things

[Sweet Spirit]

I just wanted to say to everyone here that even though I haven't posted anything in a while, I am still thinking of all of you and hoping that you are finding peace and joy in your lives while trying to attract those who are dearest to you.

I believe my latest negative feelings are preventing me from feeling the joy that I had felt just days ago when  Ken and I were having wonderful conversations and I believe that because I was not practicing LOA consistently and not being totally grateful after I attracted my him back, it has caused us to slip away from each other again. Just three days ago, we had a great conversation online and things seemed to be going well. The following day however he seemed irritated when we chatted in the daytime. He was not the same person as the night before. I really didn't think much of it until later on that evening when we chatted again. We haven't talked more than 30 seconds on the phone since he left two months ago because he has no phone, and as you know, its hard to discern the feelings of others when chatting online because you can't hear their voice, and at times things can tend to get taken out of context. That evening he came online and we chatted for a few minutes and he said he was not in a chatty mood and was uncomfortable, but that it had nothing to do with me. We said our goodbyes and of course I started to feel disappointed and uneasy. I thought, "okay, everything will be better tomorrow and we will chat again tomorrow night." I had a nightmare that night where I was seeing him as a terrible and thoughtless man.

The next morning I sent him a message telling him I hoped he felt better and I was sending hugs his way. He popped online line several times but did not say hello or anything! There was even one time where he signed on and immediately signed off. Of course I started to feel sad and the negativity crept in. We have not chatted in two days and I keep telling myself that he is just going through a hard time and it would help if I could get in the right spirit and send positive vibrations to him. I know you are all thinking that its only been two days and I should not worry, but I kept thinking that it was something I did or said that caused him to retreat again.

Anyway, my point is this: We cant keep good things going in our lives if we for one moment start to doubt or take things for granted. I believe it is because I was not practicing LOA that Ken and I have become distant again. Its hard when things aren't going well to be positive, but just the belief that LOA works should be enough to motivate us into manifesting positive thoughts.Because I saw him come online last night and not even try to acknowledge me, I had all kinds of bad and negative feelings that he was trying to avoid me. I was only focused on his negative points.  I was ready to give upon our relationship and even thought I didn't love him anymore. A dear friend  of mine shared some insights with me that got me to thinking that I was responsible for the negative junk and the way I was feeling about Ken. I was noticeably tired today and still feeling negative and bad. So now I am convinced MORE THAN EVER the laws of attraction are indeed very real and so powerful because I have witnessed it working both when I am positive and negative.

It is as I am writing these words that I am starting to get positive again and I promise to go back to manifesting positivity, being grateful, and know that Ken and I will get back on track as soon as we both  start to feel better.Doing those positive things are what brought him back to me and now I must hold on to him. I was wrong to feel bad thoughts about him and from now on, I will send him loving and positive vibes because I am sure that is what he needs right now.

Now He will contact me soon and we will be in each others arms next weekend!!!  I am affirming that and I am claiming it!!

[judasentinel]

Melanie, I am certain you are staying focused on Ken's positives alone. We all have negatives, but a relationship is built on the positives, while keeping negatives on the side and working on them together. It builds camaraderie and also enables growth.

My prayers are with you both.

[Sweet Spirit]

Thanks so much Munib.

All I can do now is let go again and focus on myself being happy without him. If we don't get together next weekend as planned, that is fine. I feel as if I am holding onto something that will never be. Since he has chosen to withdraw again, it is pushing my desire to be with him out of my mind.  I have been wavering back and forth from wanting him to not caring anymore. I will no longer try to be his girlfriend. If he wants me he will have to change his vibrational frequencies to match mine because right now I am not attracted to him whatsoever.

I must get back to where I was before we resumed contact and that is to be happy on my own. I have not seen him or heard his voice (except that 30 minute phone call,) in 8 weeks and to see him again will set me back because I know that he will just come, get his parts, satisfy his needs and be done with us until his sexual desires need satisfying again. That will leave me where I was before I was making progress and I will have to start the healing process all over again, because for me its not about satisfying my sexual desires, its about having love and companionship.

I need to realize the truth and that is we will never have the kind of relationship I want, for his life is based on uncertainty. I can never be happy as long as I am stuck in a relationship that is based on his convenience. I still love him but if someone else comes along I have no doubt that I he will be but a memory in my subconscious mind. If he changes and wants a real and meaningful relationship and has not lost me to someone else, there may be a chance.

With all that being said, I am done for now.  I will try to keep everyone posted with updates on my progress.

Peace and blessings to you all!

[judasentinel]

Melanie, you are not ready for Ken YET. And he is not ready for you YET. I just had this realization....when you are completely aligned with your true self (subconscious, spirit, etc..) on a conscious level, three things will happen - you will become the person you are truly capable of becoming in that moment, you will find inner peace, AND the perfect match will present itself, along with everything else that is a perfect match for YOU.

It is all about being perfectly aligned not just with our deepest desires but also with our empowering beliefs that reside under the garbage of disempowering ones that have been conditioned thru years of decaying thinking and negative perceptions of experiences.

I cannot promise you Ken's return as you want him to be. But I can sure as hell promise you that your FIRST task is self alignment - zero conflict between what you truly believe and desire, and what you think. Once that happens, the chatter goes away, the doubt goes away and you will start enjoying the uncertainty.......why? because the subconscious mind operates beyond space and time and it doesnt see future as a future. And at that very moment, everything will STOP bothering you, and things and people who emancipate you even more, will present themselves to you. This, I promise, my dearest friend.