Author Topic: Letting go my ex to get her back (long) //UPDATE (Read 7254 times)

durham1 · « **on:** December 28, 2010, 06:56:15 PM »

Hi guys.

I'm new to this forum, so as this is my first post I would like to thank you all for all the thoughts, and that you've decided to share your experiences here. I must say It already helped me a lot. But now it's time to continue my trip with the LOA, and to move on.

The story of my life, and my ex... in a shortest form I could create

I came across The Secret movie about 2 years ago... after my first car accident... I knew there'll be another car journey, but as strongly as I could do.. I guess the LOA worked the other way around, at least for me.. after about 3,5 months had another car accident (after 12 years of not a single scratch driving).

Well, the stress over these events got me so much, I was afraid to drive again, but after some time I have manage to overcome my fear of driving. However I started to be so constantly worrying about my life and my safety (not only on the road), that I literally closed myself in my apartment and just sporadically had contacts with my clients in the town.

My long term relationship started suffering, but not only from this, there were a lot of different matters. So.. I broke up with the girl... we were 4,5 years together. I felt relieved and knew I can start a better life appreciating myself. I was at the peak of my happiness and all was great with work and all.

Until I met another girl... and we soon started to see each other. And though it was a long distance relationship (we live about an 1,5 hrs drive apart) it was working out quite well, as we both had our separate jobs and could spend weekends and few days in a week together.

We had our differences on life, but the one that especially caused the separation and break up was my fear of going out, dancing (though I like to dance), meeting with her friends.. more of me being a 'home' person than the more 'outgoing' one. But I know that this 'home' person is not truly myself. Well, now it's too late.

Besides the above, our feelings and emotions were really in a lovely state, almost to 1,5 week before we broke up. We never had a big fight... we just talked, until the moment, that we could not talk.

So, that was it... we were for about 3 months together.

And of course, I tried to convince her, begged for us to try together, saying that she did not recognised the 'full me'. With the result you all may know

It was going so for about two weeks, but still she would contact me as usually... txt and skype... until I finally broke down and said, that She is the love of my life, and that she should not contact me, because every little thing that she comes to me with, causes my heart to bleed even more. A Sort of No Contact policy. She said OK.

Well, I admitted, that I was behaving really emotional at that time, so I just msg her to say sorry for my strong words, and that I just need some time to get over it. She said OK.

But, not even a week passed, when she is contacting me again. However with me this time... with a little bit more of a 'not begging for her love and care' state.
Well... she still txts me with the cute names we used to call ourselves, but what I do is I just reply in a calm way.. not showing any of the signs that I was still in love with her.

The days pass... she txts me a week before christmas saying how am I... I'm saying ok, that I'm preparing for my family christmas... and how is she. She say's she's probably to be alone for christmas. The next day in the morning she writes out of the blue in msn, that she wishes my a good day and now she's leaving for job. I wish her the same. Later that day I call her up and in between our normal, friendly conversation I asked if I can come on the second day of christmas, so we can spend it together.. she says she'll thing about it and let me know.

Well, she wouldn't... so I called her up at the end of the first christmas day and ask If she want's to meet.. and in between we are having a conversation about how our xmas went and all of that stuff. Well, she says she don't think meeting is a good idea, so after few more sentences, we wish ourselves all the best and end the conversation.

Soooo... what happens then...? Now it's the LOA part

you all been waiting for...

I'm registering to the forum, reading all of your stories, trying to put myself in a LOA state to get her back somehow... I know, first things first... i need to let go of everything that connects me with that girl... So that happened yesterday, when again in the evening I was reading the forum, put some 'Positive feelings and Hypnotic state' sounds on my headphones and try to relax from all the heartbreak I have been over the last month... basically totally devastated, not sleeping, not eating, not nothing...

But I said to myself, hey... I need to be happy with myself... I don't need HER exactly to feel the same state of mind, It all lies in me and I have to work on it...
..So, with the relaxing sounds, calm mind and in a good mood from many many days I am implementing these things into life... I can feel it works out great... I am starting to be myself again... the good, happy person I always was. LOA please be with me.

Few hours pass.. I'm on the forum again... And I have a txt from HER... asking 'How was my Xmas?' What??? After exactly 48 hours, when we were on the phone speaking about how our xmas are going, refusing to see me... she wants to know how my xmas were??

This cannot be true... well, I calmed down a bit and sent her a lovely message describing the xmas with my family and wishing her all the good and warm emotions. Period. And just asking how her xmas were... she just simply answered that her xmas were more family like, than she would expect, and now she's watching a movie. Period.

Guys.... pleeeeaaaaaaseee... tell me how to do all the stuff that I'm doing... the LOA... am I implementing it right? I know I should still try and try and first and foremost find the peace within myself... letting go... and the LOA will bring her back to me.

But still, just wanted to know, how to behave in situations like these... txting, msgin and stuff...

Also I would like to read some of your thoughts on how you're got your ex back, how you did it... are you still trying...

I can see that a lot of people here are just saying, that they are going to implement the LOA into their lives in order to get their exes back, but there are a lot of un-updated stories... so you really don't know if it worked out or not.

Well, I promise I will keep my story and posts updated... I really strongly believe in all the affirmations and the states of mind I can put myself into... and I want to do it.. i WILL do it.

I'm sorry for this story to be so long... but I guess this is my part of my healing process, and I just wanted to share it with you guys.

Let the LOA and the Universe make a way for us being together again... I wish all you heartbroken people the same. Love always wins

I would appreciate any comments and encouragement and ideas for as how to move on, and what to do next.

Thanks for sharing the experience

Love,

d

Detached&Allowing · « **Reply #1 on:** December 29, 2010, 06:03:10 AM »

You should take a look at the post that Purebliss wrote. It will help you.

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/6/he-came-back-but-i-let-him-go/15/

angela85 · « **Reply #2 on:** January 02, 2011, 07:40:29 AM »

There are many books that can help you that are online and free or see some videos it will help you a lot.

durham1 · « **Reply #3 on:** March 02, 2011, 03:04:02 PM »

Hi guys

Thanks for all of you reading this and keeping up the good spirits. Sometimes I really feel like I'm connecting with all of you over here.. and it helps me a lot.

It's been over 2 months since my first post and here's my update on the thing

Plus I reaaaally need your help RIGHT at this moment... because... I attracted her

I can not actually believe it.. but, here it goes.

So... since I have started implementing LOA about my past relationship things started to be much easier. Thank You Purebliss for all your advice.. it helped me a lot!
I started visualising, wrote a gratitude list of all that I'm grateful about in my life, including my all new relationship with her. I was doing that for about two or three weeks... every night before I fell asleep, reading the gratitude list, statements and feelings about me... and how happy I am the way I am. And I really started working on myself... i let go all of the fears I have for the past few years, started meeting with friends again, going out... and it all feels great. I did all the visualisations and stuff with candles lit.. and this special one candle for her in a glass box. So every time I finished my list and thoughts I blew the candle and seeing the smoke going up.. I felt like every time, this is my release process that goes all the way to the universe.

And it all really helped... until the moment came.. when I felt I don't need to do it anymore.. i need to let it go. So I did. And though I thought that all the rest will be a peace of cake, the thoughts and feelings sometimes come back... and sometimes I still lit up the candle for her... and wishing, feeling and sending all the good emotions towards her... It makes me feel better every time I do it.

Well, I feel I'm a lot stronger now. However i don't know what to think about this anymore.. because in the process of Letting go.. like I don't care about the outcome, deep inside I feel just caring about her really.

So we exchanged a bit of texts, msn messages and so on, had few phone calls. And it all felt nice. I told her.. how I have changed and worked on myself throughout all this time, and she was happy for me.

On the other hand, she asked me if I already found someone special... and she told me, that she is not sure of what she wants in a relationship... so is undecided.

Anyway... as much as I wanted us to be back together.. I haven't been waiting for any outcome.
Now.. she's coming to my town for some kind of workshop for a weekend, and I knew she didn't have a place to stay, so I suggested she can rely on me.

So.. she is coming

The thing is... that I'm not sure, and I think that she actually doesn't know how I feel about her now. I really let go of all the needing, longing, wanting and neediness... I feel at ease with myself, but would really like this particular meeting (we will be together for like 2 days or evenings/ nights) to be a step somehow in bringing us back together.

Any ideas guys of how should I approach this... should I tell her at all, that I have missed her, and was thinking about her? Any ideas that worked in similar situations with all you guys? I really appreciate you help.

Oh.. and one another thing before I post...

2 months ago... in the process of searching, I received my astrological reading... which said:

That my ex will have a huge part in my life.. and that our relationship will be different from what we had in the past. But all this will come to me in the period starting 7th March this year! After that I will know what decision I want to make. So 7th of March is Monday after Sunday, when she'll leave. And I'm not making this UP!

And I just found out that she is coming, and will be staying today.

Now tell me, is this a coincidence, a LOA at work... or a miracle or something else?

I'm really glad that I can share all this with You. You are all a great inspiration for me, and I'm adding you to my gratitude list this evening

Any ideas are welcome

Peace

57angel · « **Reply #4 on:** March 02, 2011, 03:48:40 PM »

Oh wow Durham, am happy for you that you have gone this far, and you deserve everything of this. Just be yourself when you are with her - let her know that she is with a very happy and very loving Durham the best way that you know of, with full of confidence in life and in love. I am more than sure that having realized that, she is more than willing to trust her heart to you again. Good luck Durham, you deserve to have the best in love and in life

durham1 · « **Reply #5 on:** March 03, 2011, 03:10:14 AM »

Thanks for that 57angel

That made my day even brighter now

Though it's almost midnight over here. I guess I just feel the light inside.. and it's warmth.

Funny how feelings can make you feel... lighter... light... er

Hmm... light goes with lighter

Is that the light that fills us that we feel?

Don't worry. It's just me with all of those strange questions this time of day

I shall meditate now.

Good night to all of You folks

Detached&Allowing · « **Reply #6 on:** March 03, 2011, 05:30:17 AM »

I am so happy for you! You did what so many have been trying to do here. I want to address the following:

Quote

Any ideas guys of how should I approach this... should I tell her at all, that I have missed her, and was thinking about her? Any ideas that worked in similar situations with all you guys? I really appreciate you help.

I would refrain from saying any of those things. If she is on the fence it may scare her. Just be grateful that she came. Be grateful that the opportunity presented itself to you. You can tell her how grateful you are that she trusted you enough to stay with you. Do what comes naturally. If it feels GOOD then you can do/say it. If you do/say things with zero expectations, everything will be okay.

I believe your reading. I get those periodically as well. They can be quite accurate. Just go with the flow. You did everything right. You should praise yourself and feel more confident than ever that you can have anything you desire.

durham1 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 03, 2011, 07:22:26 PM »

Schenderson22.. thanks for that.

Well, we talked a bit last night and she told me she is not sure, if she should stay at my place or come back.. and then come back the next day for the workshops. She asks if I don't have any plans, or that she doesn't want to disturb me. I said that it's not a problem... but left the choice to her. Didn't push or anything.. I simply stated, that she is welcome.
She'll let me know.

Anyway it will go.. I'm still ok with that

Funny how this strange feeling of 'not expecting anything' can feel so right. Maybe that's the whole point of trusting yourself and the Universe.
__
Still i wanted to add some things about how I managed to get myself together and how was the outcome, which.. again I didn't expect to happen.

Well, I really, truthfully and without any doubt let go of my fears.. The fears of going out and meeting other people. I guess I didn't see that earlier, but I missed them all. I love being around people, sharing my thoughts and emotions.. and sometimes I can sense, that it brings peace as well as some answers to them. So.. plus for me - i love making people feel happy. Isn't that the purpose of life?

There are two particular events that literally TOOK MY BREATH AWAY.

The first one is.. about signs.
One day after I woke up, I sit in bed and kindly asked the universe: Please give me a sign... Please give me something, that will let me understand that all the LOA and what I feel inside.. and the choices I make are the best possible ones I can make. Well, something along these lines.
The next day.. I'm coming back from the city, and I said to myself.. hey, well it's kind of late (11pm or similar).. but I will call my friends, see what they are up to. I called them, and they are saying they are waiting in the cinema for the movie to start, so I should come along. I said ok and drove to the cinema.
You know what the film was? It was 'Mr. Nobody' (anyone familiar with the film will know what I'm talking about). For those who don't know.. the film is about a guy explaining all of the choices in his life to some other guy, each time playing various versions of his life.. and seeing the outcome every time differently. At the end the guy goes to the particular moment in the future, and it occurs, that this particular moment rewinds and reverses the time.. so he is able to live his life and make his decisions once again.

I was blown away, when I saw this... and thanked the Universe for showing me this that day.. though the film was about 3 years old.. no idea why they were playing it in the cinema that nigh.
Strange, huh?

Second one.. about how people reacted to me.
Two weeks ago I was out with my friends after some birthday party.. dancing and having fun. And can you believe.. this guy and a girl (totally strangers to me) come up to me at the end of the night and say.. that I'm awesome... that they can feel some kind of amazing energy flowing from me.. The way I move and dance... they feel confidence, amazement and good energy.

I couldn't believe my ears

I was just being myself... and never ever anybody (especially strangers) came up to me saying things like that.
That made my day and in fact the whole week amazing. I felt I am really back on track with myself

Soooo... I'm keeping up the goods spirits. Well, most of the times. Of course there are times when I feel a little bit sad, and start thinking maybe too much. But I think about my gratitudes.. put on a comedy, or just go meet my friends.. and the bad moods are gone

That's how I deal with things.. and I love it

I noticed I love write to you guys.. maybe a bit too much. But still.. If anyone is interested in my experiences with LOA, visualisations and all that goes along with it.. just post your questions or concerns.. I'll be more than glad to help.

Peace

Detached&Allowing · « **Reply #8 on:** March 04, 2011, 01:08:30 AM »

That is wonderful Durham1! I, too, get a lot of responses about my energy. It feels wonderful when the compliments are received.

A few of us have been starting to listen to the following video. I have noticed a change in me and others seem to be experiencing faster manifestations. Let me know what you think.


Binaural Beats - Pure Alpha

LOVE_is_mine · « **Reply #9 on:** March 04, 2011, 03:25:06 AM »

I'm bout to try that video out in a bit schenderson. Maybe it'll help me!

Christy Michelle · « **Reply #10 on:** March 04, 2011, 03:35:32 AM »

Remember to use headphones!

Just a note: it feels so...i dont know, kind of hurts in my chest, when i read the "durham" name bc my ex's name is 1 letter different.

lise · « **Reply #11 on:** March 04, 2011, 06:07:03 PM »

Quote from: Christy Michelle on March 04, 2011, 03:35:32 AM

Just a note: it feels so...i dont know, kind of hurts in my chest, when i read the "durham" name bc my ex's name is 1 letter different.

Maybe it's a sign he is getting closer Christy?

durham1 · « **Reply #12 on:** March 04, 2011, 06:22:07 PM »

Hey

You know what... I have been using this 'Brain Beats' on my iPhone after somebody posted some info about it here.. and it really helped me to relax (and actually after my break up - they caused me to fall asleep for the first time after a month of sleepless nights).
Didn't actually tried them with visualisations.
__

As for the update to my post.. well, today she told me she is still not sure if she should come visit. I replied that I understand this, and I'm not pushing and that she should trust her feelings and do the best thing for her.. Anyway, she is always welcomed. And of course I have sent her a lot of positive energy

And I really feel that way.

That's it

__

Well.. as for the 'Durham' - is just my nickname.. which I have been using for like 10 years now everywhere I'm online

But hey.. maybe it's actually some kind of a sign... as all of our paths came together eventually, by various events in our lives. That's why we are all here now, aren't we? That's how it supposed to be. Just trust it, and go with it.. life and the universe will show what happens

Peace

Christy Michelle · « **Reply #13 on:** March 04, 2011, 06:56:22 PM »

Yes, binaural beats are excellent! Just remember to use headphones and to select the best type of wave for the result you want to accomplish (sleep, relax, study...)

The name, oh the name... It surprised me because where I live his name is VERY uncommon, so seeing it here was weird feeling, yes I would like to think is a sign BUT why dont he calls me?!?!??? Almost 3 months since thr breakup and 2 months of ZERO contact, hey its enough! Im starting to resign about wanting him to come back...im even starting to think bad things about him to make me feel stronger...i know thats anti-loa hehe.

Sorry for my rant.

Sitfab · « **Reply #14 on:** March 04, 2011, 07:29:08 PM »

Christy, back up a bit. You are showing impatience. Your desire comes from a place of worry and anger, not love.

And also remember this. Most manifestations come AFTER we have stopped thinking about them. It's like when you drink and get drunk. You get drunk AFTER you drink, not before, not during. AFTER.