Let Things Be?

[tereza]

So this is another should I contact my guy thread... 

It's been awhile since we've had any kind of contact, which I think is good for a bunch of reasons. Also, the last 3 times we communicated, he was the one to initiate and I've always responded, so it wasn't like I've dropped the ball and need to respond.

Anyway, since there was a technical difficulty with aim, we can no longer chat through our usual form of communication...which is instant messenger. Well a few weeks ago, I realized that I had an account (that I rarely use) with the same messenger that he uses. Soooo I could send him an add request and probably start up communication again. I haven't done so though because it might seem kind of like I just did it for him and part of me wonders if this is just how things should be for now? I mean, lately I've been feeling really detached about us and moving to his city. Also, life is pretty good. But then, it'd be fun to have actual conversations with him again instead of having the conversations in my head. So....?

[lise]

Why not wait until you're certain  and not second guessing yourself and then do it?

[tereza]

Thanks Lise.  You know...I didn't think of that last night. I had two cups of coffee before bed and just felt like chatting my head off and had a feeling he'd still be awake. Now that the moment has passed, waiting till I'm certain sounds like a good idea.

[Sweet Spirit]

And make certain Tereza that you are completely detached from the outcome before you initiate contact. Who knows? You may not have to be the one to initiate things. I think he will; once you have been completely detached for a little while. I don't know; just a thought that occurred to me, but I think they sense our detachment and if they haven't heard from us in a while they may be afraid we will move on and forget about them; Maybe  subconsciously they are the ones who can't let go so they have to keep contact somehow. If they can sense that we are still attached they don't have to worry that we will go away and forget about them so they keep us on a string. Maybe we should cut the string? Perhaps that may be one of the reasons why letting go may be so effective. Just my perception and I may be off base here.....

[tereza]

Sweet Spirit, I think that's interesting that you brought that up. For the past few days I think I've been feeling too detached.  I haven't been thinking about him much and I've been focused on other things I wanted to attract. I even started thinking about dating again…not to make him jealous or even the score like I had wanted to last time, but just because I wanted to.  Well, all of a sudden his name starts appearing everywhere and things that remind me of him start popping up…
I remember thinking…huh? I didn't ask for any signs. 

Maybe it's related to what you're saying? Like he's sending out little reminders of himself? Or not. I don't know.

Anyway, I think you're right about him contacting me if I remain detached.  So for now, I'll continue waiting before I contact him again. I don't think I'm at a point where I'm 100% certain that I'd be detached from the outcome if I contact him now.

[Believing Love]

I think he will; once you have been completely detached for a little while. I don't know; just a thought that occurred to me, but I think they sense our detachment and if they haven't heard from us in a while they may be afraid we will move on and forget about them; Maybe  subconsciously they are the ones who can't let go so they have to keep contact somehow. If they can sense that we are still attached they don't have to worry that we will go away and forget about them so they keep us on a string.

Well said Melanie