Lessons of love from the most successful relationships

[UpLOAding]

It would be ideal to fully live life according to our visions, and I think LOA gives us a headstart in that and - in many cases - helps us really achieve what we want.

It might be useful, in addition to that, especially in our day-to-day life and in making spontaneous decisions, when directly interacting with the person we love, to learn from the experience and ideas of those who have been successful before us, especially who have been successful in the process of reconciling after heavy conflict and romantic failure (mainly break up and rejection).

I would like if we could collect some little anecdotes and lessons of wisdom from people whom we know about, e.g. our parents, and other people we might have met in our lives, who have been successful in reconciling in the worst of situations, and how they reconstructed after the greatest crisis.

I don't mean just our own stories, but those we know of from friends, relatives, word-of-mouth and so on. But I mean real stories of success, not "reconciling" for 1 week and then again break up.

I think this could help, in addition to the LOA procedure, in what some people here also called "basic psychology".

[lashark]

There are some found in the Success Stories section of this forum and many found on the secrets website under their success stories. And really in just people all around you in your life. My cousin broke up with her now husband when they were dating and for a whole year he would sleep on my aunt and uncles lawn waiting up for her to make sure she came home ok because she would be out going to clubs and partying hahaha. They are now married, own their home very successful my cousin only buys name brand clothes for their 4 kids and my uncle Andy owns his own business. Imagine if he would of just been like "Oh well she dumped me now Im going to be miserable for the rest of my life and  move on even though what I want is her"

I wouldnt my amazing little cousins and my amazing uncle Andy if he would have done that. Just talk to people you would be amazed at the wisdome and stories "strangers" have, even our family members especially our older family members. They have so much wisdom. If youre look for amazing success stories check out the post Tereza made that is stickied under the relationships section and check out the secrets website. But really success stories are everywhere.

[UpLOAding]

Well, I wanted this to be a bit different from "Success Stories" to give a more "external" perspective, i.e. what happens outside the LOA world and with people who have never heard about LOA!
I am sure there are people who are very happily together with their dumpers and rejectors without ever having read or searched books/videos on how to improve their lives and relationships. So yes, this is where we could share some extra wisdom from, just to add and gain some extra inspiration


The following is I wanted to contribute, and I think it reflects lashark's post in some ways:


I think one of the most difficult challenges arise when the person of interest makes it difficult to communicate properly and peacefully, and behaves with mistrust almost as if everything you try to tell them is something to be defended from.

Since we know very well that this is not true and we perfectly deserve to communicate, there should be a way to communicate, a "magic word" (or many magic words), that will make the person tick again and make you earn their trust again.

I feel that many people who are in such a situation where communication is made difficult and artificial make the mistake of retaliating coldness with more ice. 

Based on a few real stories I have heard of, I believe this is not very productive and can come across as slightly vengeful. It can easily come across as:"Ha, you don't want me? Fine, then you won't have me!"

Not very friendly. Not love.

It can also come across as manipulation!

Remember, this is a person with whom you had intensely good relations. How come now you behave so coldly?

Depending on the personality of the person we would like to reconcile with, I believe that if for any reason you are at fault for the conflict, it is never good to give them an excuse to forget you forever!
Always treat them with respect and kindness, and always show that you are ready to reconcile.

Based on a few stories of intense conflict, I have heard that one of the few things that can make the other person trust you again is some very unexpected act of love, even something extreme, that fits into the story of you and them together.

For example, if you remember that the person always spoke about wanting something but perhaps you didn't listen to it, you could suddenly surprise them with that!

These are small things that will show them that you have changed, especially if there was something about you that they really disliked, for example a bad attitude or trait of personality!

This is what happened to my father and mother.

[peter_93]

You don't want me? Okay I won't bother you... That is the rather the right things to do actually.
That is love, not the other way round. If a person does not want you and you keep trying and trying, it is selfishness not love.

It's not very common to think that "you don't want me? Fine, then you won't have me!" is unfriendly and unlovely. If the person
does not love you he/she would not care about it, they would be rather grateful if you leave them alone and that's good
you make the person you love happy unconditionally, right. If you can't do or can't understand this principle, you are not in
the practice of unconditional love.

And when you are leaving someone, would you tell him/her or write him/her a letter that "Hey, you don't care right - I am going now okay!"
Of course not, usually we just leave quietly out of their life, unless you wanna make it noticeable or calling for attention.

You need success story for approval and to support your down time, we can tell that in you.
Of course there is success story and I have show the very powerful success story of the real people I knew and they are exactly
does not know about LOA at all. I have put in this forum quiet many times already, so people can help themselves check it out.

[UpLOAding]

Peter, when I ask for advice or try to give advice I talk about building relationships, and not a form of  unconditional love that might eventually to actual relationship.

I hope you understand the difference. I think it's quite significant.

[MiaVictoria]

Peter, I relate to your post so well.  Once upon a time, someone told me that they did not love me therefore I disappeared as quietly as I could.  Your post warms my soul.....that I did and can love selflessly.

[Mr positive]

yes my mom dont know loa and she got her bf back from 25 years ago! It was a tough break up but they are engaged now and been together for 4 months so far! Idk what exactly you want to hear but they are not just a week than break up story and she had to fight for him back with many nights of mixed signals and many lonely nights! They both were married and both left there husband and wife for each other its possible always!

[UpLOAding]

Idk what exactly you want to hear...

Stories about what people actually did in order to reconcile or to re-gain trust  and love.

For example lashark's story.

My cousin broke up with her now husband when they were dating and for a whole year he would sleep on my aunt and uncles lawn waiting up for her to make sure she came home ok because she would be out going to clubs and partying hahaha.

[UpLOAding]

Once upon a time, someone told me that they did not love me therefore I disappeared as quietly as I could

May I ask whether your interaction with that someone actually improved afterwards? Did it become an actual relationship with him?

I am not attacking the idea of selfless love (I am a very active Christian, so I know the idea well), but merely trying to figure out whether it has any use at all in creating an actual relationship with that person.

If not, there might be other means probably... maybe in addition to that, or without that.

Just an impulse to think.

[MiaVictoria]

No, there really is no contact now.  Letting him go was selfless on my part alone, giving him what he wanted even though it hurt me.  A relationship between two who want to create a relationship, however, is different.  There are some conditions but in a wonderfully trusting way. 

[UpLOAding]

Yeah, I am looking for answers in that field.

[peter_93]

Up mate, everybody understand you accept yourself, I assume.
I am showing clutter that block you, you don't get it and no surprise why you are struggling to these days where you need to hear approval of successful story from other. And I said yes, there are.

Keep up to what your ego preferred to believe. I have one direct simple word to say, you, yourself, are making this woman repelling each day passively.

You don't need to take it if you don't want, I said this today because I don't want to say after it's happened.

[UpLOAding]

You are off topic.

I am asking what creates a relationship.

[peter_93]

What creates relationship?
That's holy a question no man ever ask.  What do you expect, mate?
You have already created relationship and you have already blown it away.
You can't create relationship from someone who does not want to build relationship with you.

I am just saying the more you try to reconcile, no matter how damn nice you are to her, the more she is getting uncomfortable.

Hard to understand? No worry, try it see it.

[peter_93]

There is no miss point or off topic. Every of your posts, every style that you ask it's clearly show your true purpose mate. A purpose that you need this woman. You can't hide this purpose, we can interpret that.

What happen to you and what you wish to happen is not difficult to resolve. It's pity that you could not understand the concept and this is leading you to dead end of all type of relationship state with Terra very soon.