Just keep getting knocked down

[ellebelle]

Everytime I feel so happy and good about myself, things go good for a while with my ex but then out of nowhere, things just go wrong again, even while I'm feeling happy. I'm tired of my ex being interested one minute and the next acting like he doesn't care. For example, he was meant to stop round mine last night and the last text he sent me was, "on my way now baby." He never showed up and didn't text me again that night, even after stating how worried I was. He text me today saying, "Sorry about last night, I'll explain everything later baby I promise, miss you." That was at 2pm and it's now half 9 at night. No explanation or anything. It's putting all sorts of paranoid thoughs into my head. It's worse seeing all my friends and people I know in happy relationships. Even my friends who aren't with their ex's anymore like myself, seem to be getting along better than me and him.

[irishgirl69]

Okay tough love time.  First of all, read your signature.  Secondly, it's not putting paranoid thoughts in your mind - you are.  Third, if he didn't care he wouldn't have texted you and he certainly wouldn't have called you baby.  Give him a chance to explain what happened - which most likely had nothing to do with you - before you begin imagining the worst.  If you continue to make him responsible for your happiness then you're going to continue this cycle.

[ellebelle]

I know he isn't responsible for my happiness, I guess sometimes he can bring me down a little. Thank you for your reply. 

He replied to me tonight. He said, "Hey baby, I've just got home and I had to finish yesterday's business. If you want to go with him then go, but don't try and threaten me, I'm not your pet, I'm just your boyfriend. But whatever.."

Firstly, I'm guessing 'yesterday's business' is the explanation he hasn't had chance to tell me yet. This guy he mentioned, is somebody who cares about me a lot, and my ex sees him as a threat. I told him in a moment of anger, that I'm going to accept his proposal of going to dinner with him tomorrow. I quickly text him again and apologized and that I don't intend to go. (I don't know why I did it, one of those moments. It's the complete opposite of what I want. ) Also, he's not my boyfriend and he knows it. This is the second time he has referred to himself like this. I don't know whether to view this text as good or bad. :/

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Ok.....Now it's my turn for the tough love.

He doesn't bring you down.....you bring yourself down.  It's obvious to me that you have expectations of him and even want to control and manipulate him and before you deny that, let me remind you that YOU sent him the text threatening to see someone else!  You did that to get a reaction out of him and I can assure you if that is the energy you want to put out there, then that is the energy you will receive back in return.

I have said this before and I will say it again......never do anything "Action for a Reaction".....it's manipulative and it WILL NEVER work out the way you hope it will!  NEVER!!  It's a negative energy you are putting out that is controlling and you CAN NOT fool the UNIVERSE, it will come back and slap you in the face.

Now the other thing is, if he isn't your boyfriend why do you feel you have any rights to expect anything from him?

You are not in a good place with yourself, that is also obvious.  You need to get your head together and get happy with you first before the Universe will give you him and until you do, you will just be running around in circles complaining about how it's all happening TO YOU and you will continue to not look within yourself and realize that you and your own thoughts MAKE YOUR REALITY. 

Sorry if this sounds harsh but you seem to be looking externally for happiness when it is only found WITHIN you!! 

[ellebelle]

Well I needed that!

That was the first time I ever tried to 'threaten' him as such. I won't be doing it again as like you mentioned, it didn't work in my favour. I'm taking a break from him for a while. I need to take some time for myself without contacting him for a little bit.

[MeowMix]

Haha I think we are all guilty of doing that at one point or another! But the girls do have a point and they gave great advice! Us females, are known for our extensive repertoire of emotions. If there is something I have learned while dealing with the male species is to control them. I know it's tough; sometimes situations with them could be soo irritating! But keep yourself calm (in front of him) until you guys can clear up the situation. If you need to vent call a girlfriend or distract yourself. Put some breaks on those emotions because A: they create conflict and B: what you are feeling is what you manifest! Next time you are mad, take a deep breath and think about this quote: "Don't make permanent decisions on temporary feelings." Next thing you know he will be eating out of the palm of your hand

[crazysoul]

before i found this forum here, i was very very depressed.
my dear best friend died, she was the only person i could trust and who was always there for me, my ex left out of sudden, even he promised me to never let me down again.

so i was in a prison, just surrounded by negative thoughts and things, couldnt see any way out. on FB all seems to be happy annd i couldnt see anyone who felt the same or is unhappy. everywhere happy couples, happy posts and so on.... couldnt read it anymore.
i decided--- ok- if you want to live, you have to change it really completely, or you just have to leave this world. it sounds hard, but i have gone through alot in my life.

when you read my posts, its unbelievable that 2 weeks ago, i was just in bed, sleeping all day, couldnt work anymore, didnt wnt to see anything etc...

before i came here- i prayed alot--- show me a way to come out of this dark place.
the first thing was, one day after that, i came across a website.
this guy was writing about his mother commited suicide. that hit me deep in my heart. i didnt want to anymore.
then i found this forum here, since then i feel happy, dont think of my ex (ok, sometimes, but not detached or depending on him anymore)
i feel free, i want to be happy without anything from outside which should have made me happy.
i found out, that soooo many on here are in the same situation as i am and it helped me alot to find LOA again. i see, that many arent with their ex anymore and want them back. i even stopped being on FB, cause i couldnt stand it at the moment.

so, you are not alone, keep staying here, try as hard as you again to look after yourself, get detached, think- i dont need him to be happy....
make a vision board, write a scrpit, hear some audios to get relaxed.
you will find hep here- i promise.
and let him come to you, never chase him. cause i learned, the nearer you come to someone, the farer he goes away....

i send you love and patience!!!!! 

[truelove]

Thank you for sharing your story crazysoul.
I am so, so happy you found this forum, there are so many supportive people here.

[crazysoul]

yeah, sometimes its "life- saving"
i feel really happy and nothing can bring me down.... since i am here

is that the vortex? 

i send you love and stay in a happy and thankful mind 

[ellebelle]

Thank you crazysoul for sharing your story. It really hit home how much it's essential to rely on your own happiness and doing things that make ME happy, not relying on him to make me happy. Like I said, I am taking a little break from him for a while. I've already toned down the contact in just one day and he already seems to be responding to it.

Thank you all, it means so much to me. Lots and lots of love. 

[crazysoul]

yeah, give him space....

and youre welcome to read my story, its really true

love and light

[ImMarkBsWife]

crazysoul...your story is so inspirational!

Not just to ellebelle but to all of us here on the boards:)



Thank God for you.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Ellebelle,

I saw what you wrote in the chat and you need to re-read this thread and for heaven's sake.....please, STOP expecting him to behave the way you want and then becoming disappointed when he doesn't. 

The reason you are upset is because of YOUR expectations, does he even know what they are? 

And we discussed this before but why do you think you have any rights when he isn't your boyfriend?  You are NOT together, I am not saying you can't be but you currently are not so consider where your anger is coming from and accept responsibility for it. They are YOUR feelings, not his. 

[crazysoul]

Ellebelle,

I saw what you wrote in the chat and you need to re-read this thread and for heaven's sake.....please, STOP expecting him to behave the way you want and then becoming disappointed when he doesn't. 

The reason you are upset is because of YOUR expectations, does he even know what they are? 

And we discussed this before but why do you think you have any rights when he isn't your boyfriend?  You are NOT together, I am not saying you can't be but you currently are not so consider where your anger is coming from and accept responsibility for it. They are YOUR feelings, not his.

ellebelle, i can just confirm that, though i didnt read the chat, but- do not expect anything, you have to be completey free from these kind of thoughts and as well as letting him push you down by not doing for what you are waiting for.
IT WILL COME, but its in your hand, trust trust and trust-- please, i would  be really happy when you can do this

dont know if youve read my recent update, but i have contact with him as well. i answered to his msg today... just friendly and he wrote back, just friendly as well.
of course i am reminded to think that he said he loves me more than ever 4 weeks ago, but i have to accept that and i have to be "satisfied with that.
and i tell myself over and over---- someone adviced me this affirmation....

i am already enjoying a healthy and loving relationship withxxx and its manifestating NOW in my physical world
please dont give up