Just a little tired of it all...

[lovebird]

Sometimes I wonder if we do ourselves a disservice in using LOA to attract our exes. Also using RS to attract them. And all the pain and confusion about detachment, thinking happy thoughts and so on. It occurs to me we are making our exes, love interests, and our old relationships into such WORK! Sometimes it seems to me the best thing is to cry, feel the pain, allow the misery to bloom for awhile, and then withdraw and LET GO. Lot God. If it is meant to be it will happen.

Go ahead and disagree with me, I know you will Just sometimes I`m so fed up with it all, tired of waiting for signs, for an email, for a hint that I even cross his mind (which I`m pretty certain that I do, but still...)...

Speaking of signs.....I have been looking for a new place to live for awhile and have to move in a month or so. Today I got a message that there was one small apartment available next door to where he used to live while he worked here. Next door, same building, wall to wall. No he doesn`t live there anymore, but I felt a strange sensation there for a minute....why?? Yes I have been doing RS and all sorts of LOA thinking and feeling, but never imagined I would end up with something like this. I don`t want to live there, far from it. Being reminded of him every single time I walk past his door? Many times every day? Ouch! I`ll just keep on looking....there must be another place available.

Any thoughts, please please

[Mr Brightside]

I dont disagree at all. Letting go is natural, and a part of the process, so if you feel like you have done everything and you want to put it behind you then its the right choice. Its about how you feel, so there is no right or wrong here, if you are unhappy with the situation then by all means change it for the better.

As for the apartment, why not go see it, everything sounds great but the fact he use to live there before. I dont think that matters , it might remind you of him, but i think you should look into it in any case. Who knows what might come out of it, maybe it will lead you to something great.

[lashark]

 I have seen people successfully attract their exes after knowing about the LOA. I have a high respect for them because I see now that it can be quite difficult to do so. But that doesnt happen with everyone. Sometimes I wish people would take their breakups and singledom and nothing but contrast, APPRECIATE it for the contrast it is and then be happy knowing that because of that contrast something even better is coming, regardless of who its with. I wish people loved themselves more, to the point where it didnt matter if they were single or with a guy or with an ex or whatever....

Sounds like you need a break, just relax and focus on you more. Do things that bring you joy, Im sure you had hobbies and interests before you met this guy. Why not just start doing stuff like that more and have some fun?

[Sneha]

I agree with u cent percent..oflately  i noticed this is what i use my laptop and ipad and phone fo...to crib...read more such posts..feel hapy when some one gets back..feel thrilledd...thn cry again and some success shows up..may be ahi or how r u doing and then i see myself int he brides clothes...crap..is what iam doing to my life....this forum is a greta place to grow but sometimes we just like to wallow in self pity and garner some support.....ultimately when peope say they have let go..they r a new person...they stop worrying..that is the natural state....and it has be to be reached by us...the sooner the better.
Our exes are wondeful peopl and thta is why we want to get back with them....but we are wonderful too..so we shld feel important to us.

[JustForToday]

hey irene 

dont worry about your mindstate, youre just in the "i dont care and i am moving on" state.... nothing better could happen to you absolutely detachment, welcome in the club.... i might be starting a new thread "WELCOME TO THE ABSOLUTELY DETACHMENT CLUB" 
about the crying.... youre right, cry out as much as you need.... then come back on track. we dont need to surpress it, its just a heart which is sensible and the way it should be. that what tears are for----let it out.
i feel better after i did. fresh start again. but who cares how often we fall as long as we stand up again?
i have no explaination though for this flat offer.... i am sorry.
weird though, but detach from this thought as well 

you go girl!!!! 

[kitten7]

Hugs to you!

I was convinced a couple days ago that I didn't want my ex.. I've been trying to examine where all of my joy went. The truth is.. I was SO overly joyous and positive BEFORE i read 'ask and it is given' - although a great book, it 'allowed' me to then begin thinking about him again. Well.. I want my joy back! I'm trying to figure out why 'some' people do reunite with exes, and why others don't...

I've also been wishy-washy.. anytime I 'feel' like it's getting close, I panic. So this morning I just had to decide, either yes, or no - Either yes you are going to wait this out and see, or no you're going to give up.

My ex and I had a beautiful relationship til I wrecked it. Completely my fault.

I did 30 min of RS this morning.. and added to my gratitude list that I'm grateful for his love, the relationship, etc.. as if it's already happened.. because it has. I've asked, the universe said yes.. I figure, one of these days I'm going to 'get it' (the alignment.. lol)

I'm also doing the ho'op to get my thoughts off of it...

[Happybeingme]

Sometimes I wonder if we do ourselves a disservice in using LOA to attract our exes. Also using RS to attract them. And all the pain and confusion about detachment, thinking happy thoughts and so on. It occurs to me we are making our exes, love interests, and our old relationships into such WORK! Sometimes it seems to me the best thing is to cry, feel the pain, allow the misery to bloom for awhile, and then withdraw and LET GO. Lot God. If it is meant to be it will happen.

I completely agree with this! first if you suppress your sadness it will never actually go away, you have to feel your feelings and let them out in order to let them go. if you hold in your tears afraid to be sad you will still have that sadness within. you just can't dwell on those feelings and let them consume you.

as for the feeling like work and thinking letting go is best you are absolutely right! i have currently reached that point myself. LOA is not supposed to feel like work it is supposed to be effortless and joyful. It has taken me quite some time but i now have let go, i am allowing myself to be interested in getting to know other men and having fun with my life without my ex. Its not to say that I don't still care for him or that i would not think about reuniting if he came running back, but the thing is im not counting on that happening for my happiness. I have successfully attracted him back before and when it happened i was in the same state i am now. thats not to say that it will 100% happen like that again because if i was feeling this way just to get him back it wouldn't be truly letting go. I am feeling good about myself and my life and I'm ready to be in love again and in a loving relationship whether it is with him or someone else and im open to the possibilities the universe presents. 

attracting an ex back is possible and i have done it, but the reason many fail is that you have to 100% let go and be happy without them. sometimes this can feel like giving up which scares people, however sometimes when people do this they may find that there is someone else that makes them happier and they no longer want their ex, other times their ex will come back when they least expected and if it is right you will still want them back.

[lovebird]

First, -a big thank you to all of you for the thoughtful replies!! I'm always amazed how much thought and heart you give to all who write about their problems here. That's the greatest gift this forum offers, in my opinion.

I was in a bewildered state yesterday when I wrote the post, just got the news about the flat and was more than a little dejected about the whole thing....of all the communal flats, THIS was the one they offered?? The picture is a bit more complicated than I wrote about in my first post: One of my patients live right across the road, and she can be handful at times as it is, not to mention what I know she will be like when she finds out I live there. I'll be living behind locked doors! And I don't like locked doors. This is not a city, more like a small village, so boundaries are open, but sometimes you have to be very careful who you let into your personal space. Everybody knows everybody. Also I'm the patient of the new intern in his old flat, -not very optimal, for her at least. We get along really nice, but being closest neighbours is still a difficult situation. Enough said about this. I'll just keep looking.

My brain chemistry still isn't working 100% as I'm still affected by the depression from jan/feb/march. It's getting better, but sometimes sadness takes over and I see no light, just a dark tunnel. There's more to it than a love problem, also practical things that seem unbearable at moment. The damned depression hit me like a rock overnight, I was mostly in a very happy, uplifted and optimistic state of mind before. I really felt I was on the right track, attracting good things into my life. Then my world collapsed. There must have been some red flags along the way but I didn't notice.

Last summer what worried me while simoultaneously being head over heels in love, was that I was afraid I would actually attract the guy. My feelings of self-worth were low, and I somehow felt I had nothing to give to him. At the same time as I wished for him to see me and approach me, which he actually did a few times, but somewhere inside me I hoped I was invisible. I didn't know then that he was in an unhappy relationship with his gf, I just thought they were the perfect couple, and she was so extremely beautiful, it made me extremely insecure. So I was sending out contradicting vibes all the time. With the difficult situation I have on my hands right now, I know I'm still doing it. When will I, and my life, be perfect enough for me to dare meet him? Wishy-washy in attracting, who me? Oh yeah... Meanwhile he's probably drifting away, and I know it's a shame, -he's such a great guy and someone I would love to love . So yeah, sort yourself out first, love yourself first, get over self-hate and self-pity, know your worth no matter what your circumstances are, be your own rockstar, so to speak THEN, look for love. And that is what LOA is best for, getting in sync with your natural state of perfection, being who you are, your soul purpose. So I'm starting all over again....this time I'm getting it right!

Yes, I have hobbies! I make jewelry, did you know? and sometimes draw and paint:) Getting into the flow while being creative is the best therapy ever!!

[JustForToday]

irene 

i really love the last part of your post!!

". So yeah, sort yourself out first, love yourself first, get over self-hate and self-pity, know your worth no matter what your circumstances are, be your own rockstar, so to speak THEN, look for love. And that is what LOA is best for, getting in sync with your natural state of perfection, being who you are, your soul purpose. So I'm starting all over again....this time I'm getting it right!"

you know we are in the same boat and we will always stand up again, no matter what! 
remember---- WE ROCK!!!