is it ok to wish your ex bir'day after a bad break up

[la.wing]

hy guyss  need a honest answer..my ex broke up with me about year knw. but we talked couple of times after tht. he kept coming back but told me he still loves me but have another girl friend. its been knw six months we spoke to each  other. but tht was a big mess cuz he talked soo bad to me,. he told me I M NOBODY TO HIM. HE DONT REGRET BREAKING UP WITH . BUT HE STILL LOVES ME BUT CANT BE WITH ME CUZ WE HAD PREVIOUS BAD RELATIONSHIP. N BLAH BLAH. all that you can think mean of he said to me...... and pretty much he lost all respect from me.
 THEN he never contact me so neither do i. BUT sometimes i still things abt him, n still have little emotions left fr him. its soooo hard to get rid of feeling fr him.
knw its his BIRTHDAY in a week...SOOOO MY QUESTION IS SHOULD I WISH HIM HAPPY BIR'DAY OR ITS NOT EVEN WORTH. i dont want him to think tht i still miss him or want him him back..but i do miss him sometimes and still love him.
 
PLZ ANY ADVICE AND PLZZ HONEST ANSWER

[Iron Ur]

sometimes you still love him? that means you do still love him in full.
Yes you should wish him a happy birthday. alot of psychological seduction artists will tell you not to, because they think it gives off a feeling of neediness.
the truth is, if your feeling needy, wether you do or dont give him a good wish. the neediness still shows. Send the wish and be sincre and honest about it.
another thing is, respect yourself, love yourself and others will love and respect you in turn. If he told you he still loves you then he does, his new 'girlfreind' is just a mental distraction.
ignor the harsh things he says, thats nothing but hot air. take time to love and repsect yourself if you want a good relationship with him or someone.

[la.wing]

Iron ur@
u r right. most ppl i asked this..thy told my not to wish him happy birthday. but i scared how if he yell at me, or reply me something mean or idk...my brain is not working at all. n i do miss him but things got soo out of hand thers's no way i c tht its gona be ever better in us.  i m soo dammnnn hopeless...

[Pinkypink]

Only do it if you are truly FINE with him not responding...don't do it just to get a text back because you will just feel humiliated if he doesn't.
  If you are scared of him yelling at you or being mean just for saying happy birthday- then don't do it!! and leave him be.
  Trust your intuition though, you know what the best thing to do is.
   

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

You really need to get in a better place in your mind with this.  You sound desperate.  You don't want to send that energy out, it will come back in a negative way. 

I think you want to wish him a happy birthday for a reaction. 

Never be manipulative, "Action for Reaction" almost always comes back negative.  Manipulation never works and you will most likely get the reply you fear. 

If you can in your heart detach yourself from the outcome/reply and be OK with whatever reply you get and be genuine in your wish, then feel free. 

If you secretly wish for a certain response.....you will not get what you want.  You must be OK with ANY response regardless of what it is.  In order to do that you must get OK with yourself first. 

I say, considering the desperation I hear and feel coming from you, you are not ready yet to reach out to him at this time. 

You need to spend more time working on yourself. 

Don't worry, there will be another time you can reach out, it will come or he may very well reach out to you when you get yourself in a better, less desperate place. 

Keep the faith!! 

[Pinkypink]

I agree  with KnJ  ~ you are not ready to reach out to him *at this time*
    Keep working on yourself and loving yourself! 

[2thetop]

Ya I would go with KnJ on this as well.  I can feel the desperation coming from you.  For your own emotional well being I would hold off.  If you truley think you can handle not only no response, but a negative response from him, then by all means do it to it.  If you hear even the smallest voice in your head that you will be hurt by these responses, then dont. 
Like they said, work on yourself first, after you have that down, you can send all the love you want to anyone and everyone.

With much love and positive thoughts of your success

[la.wing]

i m agree with u guys tht i need to work on myself. but i m not desperate for him. cuz there are times i dont even remember tht he was ever i my life. but i was mad n soo pissed of tht things he said to me. n after hanging up he sent my text to call him last time. i control my feeling fr him n not let thm out n i never contacted him . but i do wish him best i dont want anything bad about him. i went to arabia fr 6 months so i can be ok n i did really helped my lot.
but whn i think abt wishing his bit'thday its just not feel right. my ego doesn't let me. yhh it can be true to say tht may thn we start talking. but thn i thought y should i contact him. if loved him..he did too.
we didnt talked frm 6 months soo i dont wana throw a bomb on his head cuz we live i live in ca n lives in NY. we dont c each other.
i m just confused...

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Do what you would like or feel is right, I personally think you are having doubts and if you are.....which is obvious, you probably shouldn't text him.

Please, if possible could you spell out your words, it's really hard to understand what you are writing when you are using that text.  It's just too cryptic.

Thanks!  Good luck what ever you decide!!!

[bravelioness]

Something I've learned from experience which I should keep in my head.It's not about the time that you've had no contact.It's all about when you have let go meaning whether he responds favorably or not,you're gonna be ok w/ it.It took me 5mos to realize that.It was my fault that I initiated contact w/ him hoping to get a favorable response.Now,it's almost been a year since that happened.I'm ready to approach him.Whether or not I get a good response,I'm gonna be ok b/c I know that his family loves me & I'm always welcomed in their family.

[tereza]

I think it's perfectly fine to wish an ex a happy birthday after a bad break-up. It's a nice thing to do and it shows that you remembered them. BUT I wouldn't send an ex a happy birthday if I wanted them to stay out of my life or if I would be hurt if they didn't respond.

[la.wing]

thanks guys fr your repls...
@KnJhappilyforever ...i will try my best to spell my words clear.
at one point i do wana wish him but just dont wana give him a wrong idea tht i m trying to talk to him. sooo its ok if i do wish him ...but i m out of words tht should i tell him only happy birthday or should i send him a specific nice mesg tht i want best fr him.
.....n other thing i dont even think abt him its just he stays back of my head all the time. i dont knw if i m hurt too much frm his actions or if i just cant let go of his feelings. even though its been a yr we broke up n didnt talk frm six months but still every morning i woke up with this weird feeling tht there is something missing in my life..n tht is him.
i just wana be calm n peaceful.
i dont knw wht to do, from where to start. plz just help me. i do meditation, n pray pray as much as i can, i went to other country so i can get rid of everything where he was involved. i threw away every single item he ever gave me. but i have no peace inside me.