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[loveofabundance]

Well, I had my second interview today and it went really well.  This job and company are a great fit for me and vice versa!  I  am extremely confident that this is the job for me.  I have spent a long time defining what sort of job that I would like to do and this is it. 

Anyway, I have had many little goals, that for most people are the big and "impossible" goals that give them pause, and they have all been achieved almost effortlessly.  Some people tease me about the "luck" that I seem to have.  Well, the reason everything comes so easily to me is that each desire is more of a whim, a fleeting thought, a passing fancy.  I attach stress and worry to almost nothing.

I  truly only have one intention, one purpose, one goal and that is so dear to my heart that I scarcely even utter it.  I love one man and I've ALWAYS  loved him.  Life on earth has been fun because of him.  Each lifetime has been about getting together with him and each lifetime gets me closer but no cigar.  He truly is my spiritual buddy, my cosmic pal, my divine counterpart.

Anyway, I actually got to hookup with him in this lifetime and it has been throwing me for a loop ever since.  I  have dealt with the excitment before meeting him, the amazement upon meeting him, and the disappointment of not experiencing the "earth-shattering" earthly love that most people have in earthly plane relationships.

Well. when I met him, I  was at a point of looking to improve my life, but only insofar as it meant meeting, falling in love with, and building a family with him. 

While I was actually with him, I took a job that was a step forward for me but it was far from a job that was 100% fulfilling for me.  It was by no means a career. 

I ended up breaking up with him, for reasons that are completely justifiable, while I  was working this job.  The whole time that I was at this unsatisfying job after the break-up , I would think that if only I  had him in my life, I  would be able to bear the job.  Indeed, I would have because being with this man on the physical plane is pure bliss!

YES, being with this man, which is my main, personal, individual intention for separating from the One in the first place, is so fulfilling that I  can bear even the most undesirable situations with a smile on my face and a song in my heart!

Well, apparently I am not meant to put up with undesirable situations.  Thus, he was removed from my experience.  Now, understand, that even the most delightful of situations is hollow and cold without my male counterpart.  However, as I experience wonder after wonder, even while I am aware of his physical absence, the universe continues to expand.

To sum it up: One day of hell on earth knowing that I am pair-bonded with him is like an eternity of paradise.  The only reason that i ever even bother to succeed is to ease the pain of being without him.  Thus, without him, I actually continue to do my job which is to create like a ROCK STAR!!!!

Because to be honest, I am completely content and have absolutely no desires.  I'm already happy with my appearance.  I already know that I can have whatever job I want.  I hang out with the most amazing people ever.  I have no need for money.  I desire nothing more in my life other than to be with this man and bear and raise his young to be Gods on Earth and Beyond.  This is my only goal.  Thus, not having him makes me create other goals, just for the sake of it, and the Universe continues to expand.

[dancingshoes]

hey, I can't quite decide how you're feeling. you sound a little sad but also contented. I'm glad that everything else in your life is going so well & you seem to be attracting many many good things easily. don't be disheartened about your guy. You're a powerful attracter! if you know deep down in your heart, that he is what you truly want......believe that you can change things. (i'm not sure if that's what you want to do cause of your letting go post) well, no matter what, everything will work out for the best! Believe it & trust. Just wait and see! we're all rooting for your happiness:) xx

[Vicki Christina]

Love,  Just keep attracting and being who you are in this world and a kindred spirit lover will here in time!   VC 

[loveofabundance]

Thanks guys!  I feel happy because I have understanding as to why things happened the way they did.  I feel a little sad sometimes because I miss him but it is clearly for the best.
My date was postponed until after my trip, which is good.  I  have more time to get used to the idea of moving on.  I actually have two dates when I come back PLUS my one ex still calls me regularly.    This shows me that I am moving on because my energy is attracting these great guys!
When I first came to this site I was so forlorn.  I felt worried that I would never get married after the breakup.  Now, I don't care if I never get married.  This is a huge step for me because, as I wrote above, this has been the only goal to which I've attached a lot of emotion.

[Vicki Christina]

Wonderful progress!   BTW, where are you going for a trip???  I remember sometime ago you mentioned a trip in the works.....   Hope it is a blast!   

[loveofabundance]

I'm on my trip right now!  I'm in Russia!

[Vicki Christina]

WOW!  Enjoy and have a blast.   

[loveofabundance]

Today was a really beautiful day.  It started with a lecture on relationships (of all kinds) and communication.  I used to feel really guilty about not having been able to connect better with my ex.  I tried and tried but there was a barrier.  Even this morning I felt so bad remembering how I could have been a better listener.  I was so confused about why we weren't connecting.  Especially because I actually find it very easy to connect to others. 
I kept thinking, "I usually connect so well with others.  How did I fail?  What was I doing wrong?"  Well, it could have something to do with him, too.  The fact that I didn't connect with him as well as I would have liked to doesn't mean that I am an overall poor communicator.  So, I choose to forgive myself for this failure.  If it didn't work out, it didn't work out.
I got to meet many beautiful people today and I had a lot of fun.  I am making new friends, which is always a huge blessing.  I am definitely in the right place and the right time!
Good luck and much love to all of you!