As much as I hated communicating via messenger, I found myself signed in every time I was on my computer, hoping to hear from Ken. I would get upset if I saw him go online and go off again without talking to me. Yeah I know I could have messaged him first and he may have been waiting for me to make the first move, but whenever I did, he seemed to be busy and not feel like conversing so after a few times of getting rejected I left it up to him. I always made time to talk to him even when I was in the middle of doing an assignment for school. I ALWAYS made myself available to him and he was ALWAYS the first to say good night, that he needed to sign off. So my making myself available like that I guess sent him the signal that I would always be around at his convenience. When I look back on it I see how desperate I was because I put my conversations with him above all else. You have no idea how much I wanted to be the one to cut the conversations short but I couldn't (because I cherished the only form of communication we had.)
Because I found happiness apart from him, my life is no longer revolving around him like it used to. I mean at the moment he is doing his own thing in the bed room (watching Youtube) and I am in here writing to my wonderful friends on the forum. And you know what he said to me the other day? He said that he appreciates how I have my own interests apart from him and I don't get upset when he wants to take time apart from me to work on the car or do his own thing. He likes how my world doesn't revolve around him and how I am content doing things apart from him. He said all his other girlfriends expected him to do things with them ALL the time, and they expected him to be the source of their happiness. You know if I had not found advice on this forum, I would still be like his former girlfriends. I think that is why he came back and why he is finally content with his life.
Thank you Universe, LOA and thank you to all my friends here at the forum. I am so grateful for you all!!