Author Topic: I love him and I miss him (Read 1768 times)

lashark · « **on:** September 09, 2011, 10:31:20 AM »

Ive been living my life, Ive fallen in love with myself, I have fun on my own, i have dreams. Big dreams, making the world a better place dreams. The harder my life is the harder my heart beats. I love Bundy unconditionally, so I choose to leave him alone, hes doing what he wants, he deserves to make himself happy because he should. Just like I deserve to make myself happy doing whatever I want. and I do... I love him so much, not just unconditionally but as a person, his skin, his face, his eyelashes, I remember every freckle. Its been 5 months and Im doing so much better compared to that first month, I was having a nervous breakdown everyday. Now Im more secure, now I have really nice really peacful happy moments, I laugh to myself, I look forward to life. My preferance would be him, at my side. Not to make me happy but to enhance my happiness. I love him so much, truly love him, not some selfish kind of needy want kind of love.

I love his soul, I love his attitude, I love his face, his body, his sense of humor. I love it. I know he is contributing to the world by even being in it, being human. I love everyone the same unconditional way, I see life in bigger ways, I see the big picture, I think big.So I see the lovability in everyone, everything. But I also love him as who he is as a person. His personality, specific things about him I find so much beauty in. We went trhough so much, our love always was there. Our souls recognized eachother, i have so many stories. We were the underdog and we made it.

Now knowing what I do, I know he is responsible for his happiness and if that is what he is doing, then bravo, when I think of him I imagine him smiling and happy wherever he is. Living his life. Hey Im doing the same too. I still love him, I know right now Im crying and Im pulling away from who I really am but I dont care, it feels good to cry, it feels to let it out. I know that the universe might give me someone else, possibly even better. Thats cool, but I love Bundy. And because I love the way I do I refuse to call him, bother him, text him, pray for his love for his return, affirm, remote seduction, its because I truly love him I just wana leave him be you know? Let him do his thing, live his life, be happy. But it doesnt change my desire. I cant help but love him like I do, we showed eachother our souls, no one could believe how we met, we saved eachothers lives literally, we fell in love, it was us against the world. We were like bonnie and clyde, we were like a movie. It was surreal, it was romantic, I miss him. I know he is happy and I hope my happiness grows and grows, that happiness we both deserve and we both are worthy of. If he comes back I want it to be because he wants to, because he came to that conclusion on his own, I want it to be the end of our movie, where they reunite and teh audience cries. The universe knows what I desire I dont need to lose my mind keeping tabs on my thoughts, I just do what makes me happy when ever I feel like it. I guess whatever the universe has in store for me will be whats in store for me. With or without him, Ill just live with my newfound love for myself and enjoy every minute I can, because its the only thing that matters, my happiness first and foremost. . .

2thetop · « **Reply #1 on:** September 09, 2011, 10:50:29 AM »

Much love and many blessings to you lashark. May your desires come to be, and may every day be more blessed then the last. Your love is pure and this will not go unrecognized.

LifeAttraction90 · « **Reply #2 on:** September 09, 2011, 11:11:26 AM »

I can totally sympathize with you on this - the man I am in still in love with - him & me - we were like V & Eve (V for Vendetta - watch the movie - it is good) - we shared everything between us - even the soul flinching secrets & more , I felt in love with his face , his eyes & his character & his words , ways , movements & more - it was never boring with him , always a romantic simple moment - even seeing his face made my heartbeat like mad.

I love Raphael unconditionally , I want him to be happy even I am with not with him .... I even pray for him & send him love vibration when I have a little time to do so ... I learn to better myself & love myself unconditionally - I am falling in love with myself everyday since I joined this forum - even lost weight & seeing myself in a different light : ) I do visualize us time to time - he is apologizing for his mistakes - I own up to mine - he just says "can we give it a another go between us?" : ) but until that day - I am going to better myself & make myself happy & fall in love with myself more then my desires will be met.

I am doing a lot better & doing more for me .... : ) the universe knows I love him & will never stop even if things did go sour ....

I do thank God for leading me here & a lot of others things I did .... : ) & meeting everyone on here : )

Monica Vijay · « **Reply #3 on:** September 09, 2011, 11:50:59 AM »

Many thanks lashark for this wonderful post.. u know i cried out reading the post.. especially those lines "Let him do his thing, live his life, be happy. But it doesnt change my desire. I cant help but love him like I do".. [/color]these words expresses my mind exactly.. and im making this mine too.. I love Mahi without any limits even if he's with someother.. no one could ever stop me from loving him and no one will ever love him as much as i do..

Im sure ur desires are gonna manifest in no time.. u are really blessed by God and loved unconditionally.. Much love..

Katie · « **Reply #4 on:** September 09, 2011, 12:16:33 PM »

What an example you give Lashark. Thank you so much !

Priestess · « **Reply #5 on:** September 09, 2011, 02:58:08 PM »

What a post and attitude, Lashark!

I can feel a success story coming from you very soon! That's what your post inspires! I understand how you're feeling, indeed you guys had an amazing connection and I believe every word you say... so yeah, I think the present and future are just great for you!!

Vicki Christina · « **Reply #6 on:** September 09, 2011, 03:04:08 PM »

@ la: Nice post and it is truly from the heart, complete unconditional love!
@ Priestess: In chat you asked for good energy for your guy's healing - sending it your way!!!

bravelioness · « **Reply #7 on:** September 09, 2011, 05:27:23 PM »

I feel the same way.Lawton & I haven't heard from each other for almost a month but it feels so long.We're not angry with each other.I miss him so much b/c he's so busy that he barely replies to my contacts.All I want is for him & I to contact each other again & eventually be more than friends.I admit that I'm feeling down b/c of what's happening but I really try hard to be positive & believe that we'll be in contact again soon.

Any suggestions would be welcomed.Thanks!

Priestess · « **Reply #8 on:** September 09, 2011, 06:51:20 PM »

@ Vicki: Thank you!! he needs to get out of the dark... and as I'm not 100% healed yet, I send him mixed energies, so I'm asking for a little help...

@Brave: don't try hard to be positive... it will get exhausting and that's not to be desired. Just try to feel better on your own - the time that is given is precious!! make your improvements while he's not responding and then not only that you'll feel better 'waiting' (btw, don't focus on the waiting, it's what everybody here suggests) but you'll be a more interesting person when he does contact you. May be easier said than done, but that's my tired and tested advice I have to give - don't put pressure on you, release the bad emotions and aim to feel better, instead of forcing yourself to become a master of positivity.

RealCrimsonDynamo · « **Reply #9 on:** September 09, 2011, 10:56:53 PM »

Beautiful sentiments Alexia!!!

lashark · « **Reply #10 on:** September 10, 2011, 01:49:54 AM »

Thanks for the replies, when I wrote I really needed to just get it out. I feel better. Sometimes I gotta remind myself who I am. Im just gona let the universe handle everything and just live. And reach for happiness always. I KNOW things will work out, how, who or when doesnt matter cuz I just know like I know like I know, Ill be good and the universe is on my side. I gues Im "handing it over to the manager". I know sometimes ill cry, but thats ok sometimes you need a good cry, afterwards I always feel better and more powerful. I know that when I have these sad crying moments, it is the old me, the negative needy me. NOT who I really am and it does feel like death, but with death comes rebirth and I grow into a better person every time and life IS about me. So Im just gona stick to being me, being happy, not fear negativity, not force myself to do anything, not do anything in general, just live I guess and see what happens.

Every one of you means so much to me, more than I think you will ever know. This forum has really helped but its the people on here that make it so amazing. I really love you guys. Thanks for reading my posts and commenting and just thank you for being you.

loveofabundance · « **Reply #11 on:** September 10, 2011, 05:45:29 AM »

@lashark, I totally feel your post. I treat Chris the same way you treat Bundy and it's been almost 1.5 years since I last saw his face. Right from the start I've been positive, kept the faith, had no doubts and rarely ever cried about him. Even now, I go weeks without crying, but today, I've cried twice.
It's normal to feel blue every once in awhile. Especially when you're not physically with the one you love. For me it's a little difficult because Chris and I didn't have the great outward connection that everyone writes about on this forum and by all appearances I would seem to have had a better connection with my exes. But, the connection between us is solely spiritual. In reality, this is wonderful. But, in this plane of existence it can kind of suck from time to time.

I know I write about this all the time but still, we have to be connected if I saw him in a vision before I met him and he walked (literally) straight into my arms minutes after I told the Universe that I was ready for him. I don't see how two people could be more connected. That's what's so frustrating. Almost every man I've ever met has told me that he's never felt more connected to a woman and I can see the way they light up when they're around me. And of course, I am chatting and sharing with them on a deep and intimate level - but that's just how I've always been, in general.
I don't understand how man after man can be so enthusiastic about me when I don't even love them (beyond Universal Love) and the man that I do love was so cool towards me. Men fall in love with me all the time and to Chris I seemed to be little more than a chick he was dating. I am sincerely puzzled by the whole situation because I treated him a million times better than other guys and he just wouldn't open up. And no, I didn't call him all the time, nor act clingy or needy. In fact, I gave him his space right from the start and busied myself with my own life.
I knew when I saw him in the vision that I was looking at the face of my husband, and yet we are not together on this plane. It truly baffles me. The guy I'm dating now, I haven't even kissed him (almost totally because I love Chris) nor held his hand and my excuse was that it's because he's married (legally separated). Now, it's true that due to his status, I wouldn't do those things even if I'd never met Chris, but his being married allows me to still hang out with him without getting physical. Anyway, he's filed for a divorce so that he can be with me.

Men do stuff like that for me all the time and I just don't get why Chris, whom I adore, hasn't even contacted me once this entire time. I truly don't get it. I feel like a failure as a woman, honestly, when it comes to Chris. I never imagined it would take this long to get back together. For months, I didn't worry, I went along happily. Even now, my life gets better and better everyday. I don't understand. I usually manifest with little to no lag time. WTF is going on here?
Someone put your two cents in please.

lashark · « **Reply #12 on:** September 11, 2011, 07:26:26 AM »

Could it be maybe your awareness of it not showing up yet?

attraction · « **Reply #13 on:** October 14, 2012, 05:13:59 PM »

YOU WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN...THATS BEEN GOING ON IN MY MIND...EVERY POINT WAS SPOT ON...MY EXPERIENCES....THE DATING ISSUE...EVEN THE 1.5years no contact....ITS BEEN HARD...WHILE ALL MY OTHERS EXES...AND MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND WHO IS ALSO GETTING DIVORCED...CANT GET ENOUGH OF ME....

Quote from: loveofabundance on September 10, 2011, 05:45:29 AM

@lashark, I totally feel your post. I treat Chris the same way you treat Bundy and it's been almost 1.5 years since I last saw his face. Right from the start I've been positive, kept the faith, had no doubts and rarely ever cried about him. Even now, I go weeks without crying, but today, I've cried twice.
It's normal to feel blue every once in awhile. Especially when you're not physically with the one you love. For me it's a little difficult because Chris and I didn't have the great outward connection that everyone writes about on this forum and by all appearances I would seem to have had a better connection with my exes. But, the connection between us is solely spiritual. In reality, this is wonderful. But, in this plane of existence it can kind of suck from time to time.
I know I write about this all the time but still, we have to be connected if I saw him in a vision before I met him and he walked (literally) straight into my arms minutes after I told the Universe that I was ready for him. I don't see how two people could be more connected. That's what's so frustrating. Almost every man I've ever met has told me that he's never felt more connected to a woman and I can see the way they light up when they're around me. And of course, I am chatting and sharing with them on a deep and intimate level - but that's just how I've always been, in general.
I don't understand how man after man can be so enthusiastic about me when I don't even love them (beyond Universal Love) and the man that I do love was so cool towards me. Men fall in love with me all the time and to Chris I seemed to be little more than a chick he was dating. I am sincerely puzzled by the whole situation because I treated him a million times better than other guys and he just wouldn't open up. And no, I didn't call him all the time, nor act clingy or needy. In fact, I gave him his space right from the start and busied myself with my own life.
I knew when I saw him in the vision that I was looking at the face of my husband, and yet we are not together on this plane. It truly baffles me. The guy I'm dating now, I haven't even kissed him (almost totally because I love Chris) nor held his hand and my excuse was that it's because he's married (legally separated). Now, it's true that due to his status, I wouldn't do those things even if I'd never met Chris, but his being married allows me to still hang out with him without getting physical. Anyway, he's filed for a divorce so that he can be with me.
Men do stuff like that for me all the time and I just don't get why Chris, whom I adore, hasn't even contacted me once this entire time. I truly don't get it. I feel like a failure as a woman, honestly, when it comes to Chris. I never imagined it would take this long to get back together. For months, I didn't worry, I went along happily. Even now, my life gets better and better everyday. I don't understand. I usually manifest with little to no lag time. WTF is going on here?
Someone put your two cents in please.

attraction · « **Reply #14 on:** October 14, 2012, 05:17:10 PM »

YOU WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN...THATS BEEN GOING ON IN MY MIND...EVERY POINT WAS SPOT ON...MY EXPERIENCES....THE DATING ISSUE...EVEN THE 1.5years no contact....ITS BEEN HARD...WHILE ALL MY OTHERS EXES...AND MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND WHO IS ALSO GETTING DIVORCED...CANT GET ENOUGH OF ME....

Quote from: loveofabundance on September 10, 2011, 05:45:29 AM

@lashark, I totally feel your post. I treat Chris the same way you treat Bundy and it's been almost 1.5 years since I last saw his face. Right from the start I've been positive, kept the faith, had no doubts and rarely ever cried about him. Even now, I go weeks without crying, but today, I've cried twice.
It's normal to feel blue every once in awhile. Especially when you're not physically with the one you love. For me it's a little difficult because Chris and I didn't have the great outward connection that everyone writes about on this forum and by all appearances I would seem to have had a better connection with my exes. But, the connection between us is solely spiritual. In reality, this is wonderful. But, in this plane of existence it can kind of suck from time to time.
I know I write about this all the time but still, we have to be connected if I saw him in a vision before I met him and he walked (literally) straight into my arms minutes after I told the Universe that I was ready for him. I don't see how two people could be more connected. That's what's so frustrating. Almost every man I've ever met has told me that he's never felt more connected to a woman and I can see the way they light up when they're around me. And of course, I am chatting and sharing with them on a deep and intimate level - but that's just how I've always been, in general.
I don't understand how man after man can be so enthusiastic about me when I don't even love them (beyond Universal Love) and the man that I do love was so cool towards me. Men fall in love with me all the time and to Chris I seemed to be little more than a chick he was dating. I am sincerely puzzled by the whole situation because I treated him a million times better than other guys and he just wouldn't open up. And no, I didn't call him all the time, nor act clingy or needy. In fact, I gave him his space right from the start and busied myself with my own life.
I knew when I saw him in the vision that I was looking at the face of my husband, and yet we are not together on this plane. It truly baffles me. The guy I'm dating now, I haven't even kissed him (almost totally because I love Chris) nor held his hand and my excuse was that it's because he's married (legally separated). Now, it's true that due to his status, I wouldn't do those things even if I'd never met Chris, but his being married allows me to still hang out with him without getting physical. Anyway, he's filed for a divorce so that he can be with me.
Men do stuff like that for me all the time and I just don't get why Chris, whom I adore, hasn't even contacted me once this entire time. I truly don't get it. I feel like a failure as a woman, honestly, when it comes to Chris. I never imagined it would take this long to get back together. For months, I didn't worry, I went along happily. Even now, my life gets better and better everyday. I don't understand. I usually manifest with little to no lag time. WTF is going on here?
Someone put your two cents in please.

Quote from: zebra on September 11, 2011, 07:26:26 AM