I have pushed him away

[forever.in.love]

Hi everyone I'm new here, a friend told me about this board and said I could find help here.
My husband wants a divorce, saying that over the past few months his feelings have changed and he no longer loves me. He swears there is no other woman though and I believe him.
I have done all the wrong things..............like pleading and begging, and constantly bothering him, asking him to reconsider his decision. These discussions have made things worse. I'm afraid it's too late, that I've already sabotaged any chances of getting him back.
I'm not new to the law of attraction, I have read many books, but I don't seem to know how to apply it pertaining to my situation.
Is the damage done, irreversibly ? is everything lost........ or can I turn things around by not nagging him and letting him be ?
I just read in a Abraham Hicks book : you have no creative power within the lives of others, for they are offering their own vibrations, whiche equals their own point of attraction, just as you are offering your own vibrations, which equal your point of attraction
that makes it sound impossible to attract a specific person back.................................thanks for your advice

[forever.in.love]

....May I add that he wants us to be friends...I love him so much that I just can't accept that. How can I not love him ?? And just be friends ??

[Katie]

So I'm not the only one who has made this mistake : being clingy and acting needy and desperate. I have done this repeatedly and have gotten nothing positive in return. He actually told me that I was making him "suffocate" ! And even more determined to end our relationship !

The moment I stopped begging, crying, and pleading, he became more comfortable with me. Things haven't really improved, because he still wants our relationship to end, but at least we're getting along better now. Who knows where this may lead. Some days I'm sure it's over and and at other times my faith is still there. The last time he told me : I want a separation, looking at me straight in the eyes, I just had this feeling that it is NOT over and there is still a chance. I felt it in the very depths of my soul.

Please, stop harrassing him. Leave him space, let him be. Show him that you are able to live without him, even if this sounds impossible right now.

Accept his friendship, do not cut all ties. If you keep your vibes up, and let go and move on, maybe he will come back, if he sees you are a different person. Take your energy back from him !

Many people believe that it's not possible to attract a specific person back, a boyfriend, a mate, or a husband. But if you read through the success stories here you will find out that it IS possible. Many have succeeded.

Wishing you the best  don't give up or feel desperate, feel good right now about your life, focus on everything positive and be grateful for all that you have

[forever.in.love]

Thanks odessa. I was thinking no one would ever reply. I understand what you are saying, but there is one thing I have done and I am really ashamed of......... I don't know if I can bring myself to say it here. It's really bad.  I did it out of despair. Here goes....... I told my husband I have cancer. I lied. I am in perfect health.....I hoped it would make him change his mind and want to stay with me. He was upset at first, but now it makes no difference. He still wants to file for divorce. I am so ashamed. I am not a liar, and I made this horrible lie. Out of desperation. What can I do now ?? I did not think about this beforehand, i mean i did not premeditate it..... it just came out on the spur of the moment after one heated argument and many shed tears, I went hysterical.... If I tell him it's not true, he will see me as a very manipulative person. If I keep up with the lie, it's a burden to me and now i dont see how i can get out of this mess. He will never forgive me if i tell him the truth and i cannot live with this lie any longer

[Katie]

Gosh, Forever in love  Honestly I don't know what to say !

This is a tough one !

I'm sure that other members here who are more experienced in these matters of attracting an ex back, will advise you as to what to do now. I have no clue !

I'm sure that no one will be harsh or judge you. Sometimes we can do very bad things out of despair. I think you are lacking self confidence, am I right ?

[tereza]

Forever.in.love, I'm no expert, but if it were me, I would tell him the truth and apologize.  Though before you do that, try to relax and think of him being understanding and accepting of what you'll tell him, so that way maybe the conversation will go smoother. It may or may not be necessary to do that, but I think I'd feel less stressed if I told him the truth.

And this is also just me, but I would tell him that I want to work things out and stay together, but that I agree that the relationship isn't the same and suggest a temporary separation before filing for a divorce. There's a forum member on here named Kitten, who was also going through a divorce. When she agreed to the divorce and asked her husband for the papers, he kept putting it off. I'm not sure if they got back together or what, but it seems that by being agreeable, her husband started to question his decision to divorce.

Then, I'd check out the sticky thread by Iron Ur (it's the first one in the relationship forum) for advice on attracting an ex back and also read the dns thread here for more advice:

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/6/bible-of-getting-your-ex-back-dns-post/

I like that last thread because, even though he did all these mistakes and his ex said horrible things to him, he was still able to attract her back. 

[dance_in_the_rain]

Odessa: When i heard you say that phrase about once being needy, clingy and desperate, it imediately made me think of my favorite book "Why Men Love Bitches." It teaches women to become self-confident and tells you how most men think, and its a really great book for single ladies or taken ladies! I drove my boyfriend away by "suffocating" him with my desperation, needy, clingy behavior (he hasn't talked to me in a year now). But then i picked up this book and it really helped me to notice when im clingy, needy, desperate and stop it in its track!

[anamarie74]

forever.in.love,  I did the clingy, desperate thing also. If you have a chance look at my posts.

As far as support, and super positive energy - you're in the right place. You're going to be ok!

[LeyLine]

Forever in love, welcome to the forum
 
First of all relax.Try to calm down and think clearly. Frustration is never a good advisor.
 
Know that you are not alone in this. Practically all of us here were or are in similar situations (thats why we are here anyway)
 
There is no situation that cannot be undone. If i were you i wouldnt spend too much pondering on if it is or not possible. According to my experience it is indeed very possible, so i prefer to listen on my own logic and instict than that of Esther Hicks..Mrs Hicks can have her own opinion, but my own experience proves that her theory is wrong.
 
Know that in LOA you can only have what you believe. So, if you believe that you cant attract him, you wont. If you believe that you cant, but you want it nevertheless, do your best to change your belief into a positive one. The success stories in this forum will help you in that
 
Forgive yourself about your mistakes -- even the cancer lie. Accept the fact that we are only human, and, if we make mistakes in our frustration and despair, its not like its the end of the world. Mistakes are ok as long as we learn from them and we dont repeat them.
 
About the cancer lie : you cant keep on letting him believe that you are sick...not only it doesnt lead to something positive, it can even attarct cancer in your life for real. You can either tell him that you lied and apologise, or say that the diagnosis was wrong and you are healthy after all. Whatever of the two you choose, leave it behind you, dont mention it again and move on with your self improvement. Again : forgive yourself..its crucial that you do.
 
Whatever is done, is done and it cant be changed. Dont spend your precious energy focusing on the mistakes you have done. They belong to the past. Its better if you focus your energy on what happens from now on. If your husband wants to be left alone, leave him alone and use the time apart to grow in LOA. you said you have read books, so you know everything about visualistaions, gratitude, vision boards etc. Do whatever it takes to bring hapinness to yourself.
 
We all have pushed away our partners and special ones from time to time. I will be the first to admit it. I have pushed mine away a number of times so far..sometimes, when our communication is excellent for a certain time, i forget to be grateful about it and ask for more...and guess what happens, lol. Fortunately, my core belief that we belong together hasnt changed, so, sooner or later, when gratitude and hapiness return, hes being drawn back in.
 
Sorry if my post is not very helpful and if it seems kinda cold, its only that i need to be leaving for work here in a couple minutes    Its also 6am and i dont have enough coffee in my system yet   Whatever you want to ask, please, feel free to send me a private message and i will be glad to help you in any way i can
 
Peace and love

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Hi,

Two places you need to visit for inspiring success stories.....some much worse than yours:

http://www.powerfulintentions.org/forum/topics/encouragement-for-attracting-a?id=1335877%3ATopic%3A1089651&page=2#comments

http://thesecret.tv/stories/stories-tagged.html?tag=relationships


Spend some time, read and get your bearings back, re-group, get it together, be calm.....focus, and then calmly decide what it is you want, REALLY WANT!! 

Then, believe, achieve, receive!! 

[forever.in.love]

thanks for your replies. knjhappilyforever, the links are dead, I cant find the posts 
Leyline, I know that my lie can actually bring cancer to me because he thinks Im on chemotherapy !!!!!!........I don't see how I can just tell him now that it's not true ; it would make look like a scheming, manipulative woman, and  I'm not that way at all, and at the same time the lie is impossible to live with

[Katie]

you have no creative power within the lives of others, for they are offering their own vibrations, whiche equals their own point of attraction, just as you are offering your own vibrations, which equal your point of attraction

This quote is rather disturbing. I have always thought that the Hicks' teachings were valuable. Now I'm wondering.

Forever in Love, I understand that it's not an easy thing to get out of the lie. Especially if you told him you are having chemotherapy  Try meditating, to find a way out of this. It's true that you could actually attract cancer in maintaining the lie. So be very careful

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Did you try copying them and pasting them into your browser?

I tried that on mine and it worked.....but you are correct, the links didn't.....I have no idea why though!

Let me know is copying and pasting them work for you. 

[forever.in.love]

No Knj the pasting didn't work either but thanks anyway. the past few days have been very crappy. I cant keep myself from having emotional outbursts. I begged him not to leave me. i gave him a very bad image of me, crying and pleading but i can't help it........... he is literally fed up with me. his face is like a stone. i have been such a pain to him that i'm afraid i've done so much damage that it's too late now to try to get him back

[Tinseltown]

it imediately made me think of my favorite book "Why Men Love Bitches." It teaches women to become self-confident and tells you how most men think, and its a really great book for single ladies or taken ladies!

Men Who Love Bitches and Women Who Marry Bitches are, in my (humble) opinion, two of the greatest self-help books ever written! And 'Bitches,' for the uninitiated, means - Babe In Total Control Of Herself

Tins