Author Topic: I have a decision to make (Read 793 times)

irishgirl69 · « **on:** December 21, 2011, 09:02:47 AM »

One of the cast members from the show I did this summer is having a party on Thursday night that I've been invited to - a lot of the cast has been invited. My guy definitely won't be there (he's leaving to go home for Christmas that day) but the girl that he is supposedly seeing will be there. The woman hosting the party is the one who told me they were seeing each other - she is good friends with the alleged girlfriend.

A part of me really wants to go to see everyone but I really don't want to deal with any of their juvenile behavior. I don't know if they are still seeing each other, but I would bet they will find some way to bring him up in front of me.

I've been feeling great lately - really enjoying my life and being genuinely happy. I just don't know if I want to put myself into that situation. But on the other hand, I don't want to miss out on a fun time with people I enjoy because of that.

Any thoughts?

Mariposa, (KnJ) · « **Reply #1 on:** December 21, 2011, 09:50:56 AM »

Yes, go and have fun!

I think you know if they are or are not seeing each other any longer. You know the truth, deep down and so if they do say something you just need to ignore it and rise above it.

Why should you miss out on having a fun time because of that girl being immature and insecure?

Go! Have fun!! Smile! Be your charming self!!

Love you!!

LOVE_is_mine · « **Reply #2 on:** December 21, 2011, 09:57:19 AM »

I agree with Mariposa. GO! You already said that you don't want to miss out on a fun time with people you like, so go!
I was in a similar situation this past saturday, where someone told me that my ex might be at my soccer game with her fiance. I avoid her at all costs. I don't talk to her
anymore and i don't want to cuz she hurt me really bad in the past, but I mean that wasn't gonna stop me from playing in front of my friends and family!
I had a blast and I don't regret for a second playing in my game! And she left early anyways haha. So anyways, go and have an amazing time!

irishgirl69 · « **Reply #3 on:** December 21, 2011, 10:08:41 AM »

Yes, I think I will. It's funny - right after posting this, one of the cast members sent me a message on Facebook saying she really hoped I would be there. It just reminded me of how much this show meant to me and how amazing the summer was. Regardless of what the situation is with him, her, us, etc., I'm not going to let that taint the experience I had.

Even if they are still seeing each other (I'm not positive it's over), I know it's not going to go anywhere, so she can think she won him all she wants. I know the truth. I know how it feels every time I send him energy (I truly believe he is sending it right back to me, probably unconsciously, but something is coming to me) and I know that the only reason he is keeping me at a distance is because he knows he will fall for me and just isn't ready for that. This will all be worth it in the end and we will look back and laugh at it.

Mariposa, (KnJ) · « **Reply #4 on:** December 21, 2011, 10:13:26 AM »

There you go.....That's the spirit!!

Awesome!!

angel_star · « **Reply #5 on:** December 21, 2011, 04:56:00 PM »

Have great fun, Irishgirl

Life isn't about missing out on good things because you want to avoid the bad that may come with it. Life is about ignoring bad things because you want to enjoy the good that comes with it

I am sure this party will be great for you!

irishgirl69 · « **Reply #6 on:** December 23, 2011, 10:33:48 AM »

So, I went to the party tonight. As I expected, she found a way to bring him up in my presence very quickly. She was telling another friend that he had texted her about his first night back at home for the holidays. Then they proceeded to giggle like high school girls because I was there. I didn't react at all. I didn't stay at the party very long - it had a weird energy (that was only part of it) and I wasn't really enjoying myself. I said I had another party to go to and left. I did fib a little and told a couple of other girls that I was meeting a guy. Don't know why - it just came out.

Two things I felt about what happened. One, I must be a serious threat to this "relationship" if she is still finding it necessary to throw it in my face. It's quite flattering, actually. Second, I think it's sad that he is choosing to spend his time (however much he is spending with her) with someone like her when he could be spending it with me. I don't get it, I really don't. I do know that he did not spend his last night in town with her before heading home for the holidays.

I am very grateful that I am able to look at this so calmly. I'm really not upset. I'm a little shocked they are still seeing each other based on some things I've seen on her Facebook. But I know how I've been feeling lately and I know that I am definitely feeling something return to me when I do RS. It's a mystery to me what's going to happen from here, but I'm just going to keep trucking along, living my life and keeping faith.

Mariposa, (KnJ) · « **Reply #7 on:** December 23, 2011, 10:49:14 AM »

Did you see the text....did she just tell them that or show them. I am picking up that he isn't seeing her any longer.....she is milking this (it's imaginary) and she is doing what she is doing because she is insecure which we already knew.

Sorry but the girl is full of bs.......she is living in a fantasy world.

She brings it up in front of you because somehow you have shown interest in him or reacted at though you like him....so she knows and she is just trying to get a reaction from you.

She doesn't have a leg to stand on and there isn't anything going on.

irishgirl69 · « **Reply #8 on:** December 23, 2011, 10:57:38 AM »

She just said he texted. Honestly, what I thought was she texted him first and he just responded to her - being friendly. He has been commented on things on Facebook, etc., with her, so I think he is trying to keep things friendly if they are indeed over.

I had told one of her friends over the summer that I liked him (before anything happened between them) and I'm sure she told her. The feeling I get is that she is threatened by me and how he feels about me - it was very clear during rehearsals that he felt something real for me. And then there is the commentary on our video of the show - he talks about me more than anyone else in the cast. I think she and her friends have always seen me as an obstacle to her being with him for real and so they want me to think he's off the market, so to speak. I think she knows that if he were ready for a relationship, he would be with me, not her.

57angel · « **Reply #9 on:** December 23, 2011, 11:03:05 AM »

Irishgirl, though you didn’t stay that long and didn’t have much fun in the party last night, it was already a great achievement for you know well how did you feel in front of her – for me, you are indeed a stronger person now as you showed everyone in there how you react everything with grace! Hmmm just keep up the positive vibes, who knows how nice your gift that the Universe has prepared for you because of that party lol but am so sure that you are so very close in getting the kind of relationship you want to have with him wink!

irishgirl69 · « **Reply #10 on:** December 23, 2011, 11:47:59 AM »

Thanks 57angel. I do have to admit that one of my best qualities is my grace. I am always the bigger person - I never lash out at anyone out of pain, anger, etc. A few years back, I was in an emotional affair with a married man and it ended very badly. One of my closest friends was put in the middle of it (not on purpose) because she is friends with both of us. A few months after everything blew up, she and I were talking about everything and she told me that she wants to be me when she grows up. LOL She said she so admired how I handled everything - I could have made his life VERY difficult and I didn't.

As annoyed as I am at the glee she and her friend seemed to have at throwing him and her in my face, I can't help but feel a little sorry for her. I am sure that she really likes him and all along she has thought that if she acts like she's cool with a casual thing and sleeps with him, that he will fall for her. I did the same thing when I was her age. But the only way she is going to learn this lesson is through experience, unfortunately. I just know that if the situation was reversed, I would not be throwing my relationship with him in her face at all. But I guess that's one of the benefits of being older and wiser.

57angel · « **Reply #11 on:** December 23, 2011, 12:01:06 PM »

Yes Irishgirl, that is getting older and wiser with grace

Only few do, and I always salute to those who get older and wiser with grace

When you gave love, more and more love will be given to you - multiplied, that will truly make your life very fulfilling! Much love and happiness to you