I don't know what to think anymore

[bravelioness]

First of all,I would like to thank all the people who have extended their help and advices.It feels good to know that there are people who are willing to support you no matter what. (if you don't know my situation,please read please help me in my situation & why no contact)

Like I promised,I'll keep you update.Here's what happened for the past month.

Well,I would visualize me and Andrew being happy,together,with kids,getting married etc.I felt happy doing this.As weeks passed by,I decided to follow my instinct.I assumed that things would be better by now (I mean,I placed myself in having it now).But things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to be.Andrew was still avoiding me (and maybe even telling his family to avoid me).And just recently,he told me to stay out of his life that I shouldn't contact him and follow him and he doesn't want even to be friends with me.

I was really heartbroken.I thought the situation will be fixed.I mean, I programmed it beautifully.I'm confused though.It says that LOA gives you whatever you want but as religious teachings say( I'm a Catholic), though nothing is impossible with God, there are just somethings that you cannot get or things that are not meant for you. I admit I do some divination and it tells me not to count on my situation with Andrew being fixed and to move on with my life. Ok.Now I know most of you will think that I'm getting obsessed with Andrew because I want him back no matter what despite him telling me to back off etc. I'll be honest with myself. I want things to be ok again between me and Andrew.I mean even if we just end up being friends.Do you guys think that there is still hope for my situation?I'm angry,sad,scared,and confused especially with the saying that LOA gives you whatever you want and though nothing is impossible with God, there are just somethings that you cannot get or things that are not meant for you. I need solace.Thank you so much.

[Vicki Christina]

It sounds to me like you really need to continue to work on you and follow no contact.    You may just be pushing him further away by going to his house.  I would not chance that approach again.  If he is telling you to stay away, then stay away.  I am sorry, but that must feel heart breaking.  You are making him uncomfortable by going to his home.   That is causing vibrations of neediness or the paradoxical law as Sandra Anne Taylor discusses and coins in her books on success and relationships.  "If you're desperate to make something happen, that repulsive vibration will push it away, turning away the very people and situations that might bring your desired outcome. Your desperation, therefore, creates the paradox-or the opposite-of your original intention, leading you to failure instead of success." This is causing more lack.  http://www.creationsmagazine.com/articles/C111/Taylor.html   This web page has a good reading material on this topic.   I struggle with this also as do many people who are trying to attract something so emotional as a relationship.  Stay strong!  Hugs!

[Iron Ur]

I hope you see this sometime.

first: a large part the LAW is that you detach yourself and trust that no matter what 'reality' you seem to have, just believe that you will get what you wish for. It's hard to detach yourself it really is, but it plays a key factor in everything.

second: many people talk about the LOA like it's the ultimate thing, it's not. EVERYTHING in your life is the result of LOA, intentional or untintensional, good or bad. it has all come to your FROM you. nothing comes to you from the outside it comes THROUGH you. in other words your allways attracting things every moment every second.

third: understand that, even though you feel lost. we all have. you are the only one you need. you see you are made in the image of god, or are perfect and complete. when your love leaves you you feel like you lost something, that is because the fact is....your love andrew....is acually you...I know it sounds odd but it's true. he is you, you are not him. but he is you. you manifested him before and he is part of your life always.

you are the sole creater of your world.

forth: it took me so long to learn this, but focus solely on yourself. love yourself and beleive in yourself. tell yourself "I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me,  thank you" whne ever your able to remember to. people always come back, ironically it's when your "over" them that they do. ever read the "i will survive song?" she sings about her guy coming back to her after she was over him

fifth: forget divinations. it's a map, not the terran. it can guide you but it desn't control your life at all, nothing does. take 300% responsibilty for EVERYTHING in your life. be greatful for the good things and learn from the bad things in yourlife.

here is a undersanding from my teacher about useing LOA to get your ex back have the proper knowledge of them, the power of the right thoughts of LOA, and cultivate your own personal magnatism, E.I. yourself.

tai chi and meditation ae good for personal magnatism.

feel free to contact me if you need any advice

[bravelioness]

Thanks for the quick reply Vicki Christina & Iron Ur.Anymore suggestions?Do you believe that my situation can still be turned around?What can you say about the sayings though nothing is impossible with God, there are just somethings that you cannot get or things that are not meant for you & His will be done?

Thanks for the support.

[bravelioness]

@ Iron Ur-third: understand that, even though you feel lost. we all have. you are the only one you need. you see you are made in the image of god, or are perfect and complete. when your love leaves you you feel like you lost something, that is because the fact is....your love andrew....is acually you...I know it sounds odd but it's true. he is you, you are not him. but he is you. you manifested him before and he is part of your life always.

Can you elaborate on this?

[Ginny]

Those are such good responses from Vicki Christina and Iron Ur - I don't have much to add, except your latest question - yes, I think if you work on yourself and finding happiness in yourself - developing a sense of ease and gratitude for all the things that are good in your life - that your friendship will return. I have seen it happen again and again (in my own life and with friends). But the irony is that you have to let go (for the reasons Vicki Christina has stated).

This may seem like a strange question, but I wonder if you are breathing properly? When people get anxious, they often start breathing shallowly - and then CO2 levels in the blood start to rise and you feel even more anxious. Many people find it helpful to practise deep breathing - concentrating on bringing your diaphragm down and expanding your belly as you breathe in. There's one exercise where your start breathing in from the belly upwards (ie so first your belly expands, drawing the diaphragm down with it, then the lower chest, then the middle and upper) - you breathe in for a count of 4. And then on the exhalation, you go in the same sequence, collapsing first the belly, allowing the diaphragm to move back upwards, then contracting the lower chest, then the middle and upper - also for a count of four.

A recent member Era has a great article on letting go posted on his blog - http://alltoosimple.com/ . If you try the exercise above in coordination with his exercise for letting go, you may find it really helpful.

All good thoughts and wishes for you

[purebliss]

All of these replies are really helpful!  One thing that confuses me is when letting go, should we still do visualizations twice a day?  How can we ever really let go if we keep visualizing ourselves with our exes?  I guess the answer lies with your ability to be detached from the outcome.  I feel like I am detached however when I start visualizing my ex I begin to miss him. 

[Iron Ur]

look up a book called the seven spiritual laws of success, they got beyond the LOA.

detachment is about not worrying how when or where you get what you want, people recommend wishing/visualazing in the morning and  at night because those times your more likely to be in alpha state of your brain rythme which connects you to the world around you. I'm gona try to post the seven law on my new topic at the "how to use LOA" section

Bravelioness: when you are happy withyourself as you are, with or without him, you take note that you are powerful and complete. THe Lord doesn't want you to be miserable and suffer for his own reasons, so many people reject the LOrd because they think they have to be miserable for some "plan" the truth is the Lord wants you to be happy, anything something bad happens to you it is simply the Lord trying to teach you something.

Look for the lessons in the bad, Be greatful for all the good things. begreatful for the morning, your bed, that you are full of love and completeness.

and about your beloved being you. everything in this world that you experience is from you. know that first, when you know that you take awareness of your power. Don't want the bad things, and want to kepp the good things? go to master your power, master yourself, love youself.

you created your reality by your thoughts, if you really think on it. think about how man y things have happend that all almost similar.

one thing you can be greatful for. you are learning this now, that when you love yourself, respect yourself other will love and respect you too. I just turned 24 and I've heard this so much and never paid any attention to it.

and one last note: the reason why your beloved will come back to you if you so choose. once you build up your personal magnatism, love yourelf and respect yourself. he will naturrally be drawn to you and he will not know why.

people who say to "move on" are not giving good advice, because untill you are happy with you, love you and beleive in yourself. the next relationship will be just like this one. and you'll be in the same spot you were before. make sense?

[schenderson22]

I'll be the first to admit, I am not good at visualizing and don't do it very often.  I can only share what has worked for me.  I am an AVID believer in LOA.  I see how EVERYTHING in my life, I chose for me (whether good or bad).  I believe that certain things happen that may not be so pleasant to get us to our goal.  The Universe WILL NOT give us LESS than what we desire.  "Be careful what you wish for b/c it might actually come true".  I have learned to control my negative feelings.  They exist, I experience them but quickly start making statements to myself how grateful I am for whatever it is I need/want in my life.  I agree with EVERYONE in this thread and it all works.  @Bravelioness ~ It is time to walk away from Andrew.  I say this b/c it seems as though you are having difficulting detaching your want of him and the dream you have.  Without the ability to detach from him completely, you continue to feel negative feelings which are counter active to your desires.  You are too emotionally invested.  I can say this b/c I have been where you are and had I not walked away I wouldn't have found EXACTLY what I was looking for.  I am 37 years old, I held onto a man who didn't share the love I felt for him for two years.  I didn't believe that there would be anyone else who was "that perfect" for me out there.  I couldn't handle the emotional rollercoaster anymore so I walked away.  I learned during my time that there were imperfections within me that I wanted to improve.  Knowing that a "better me" will only add to a healthy relationship.

[schenderson22]

and to continue..... A little over a year later I found the love of my life.  Our relationship isn't perfect but I will tell you it is damn close.  When we have a dark moment, I use LOA to end it and improve our relationship.  Having the ability to be strong for yourself and know that you come from the devine will bring you EVERYTHING but you HAVE to walk away.  Focus on making yourself the VERY BEST person you can possibly be.

One more thing.... the more you are able to keep "an attitude of gratitude" the more good will come.

Hope that helps.

[bravelioness]

@schenderson22-So you're telling me to move on from Andrew and forget about him and look for other people out there?

[bravelioness]

@schenderson22-In addition,are you telling me that my situation is hopeless already?

[Ginny]

bravelioness, you are missing the point. It's not surprising, because it's a difficult point to get. Yes you should move on, but no the situation is not hopeless.

By chasing and pursuing and fretting, you are sending signals to the universe that this is what you want - to always be chasing someone who is increasingly shying away from you. You need to focus on what you actually do want. Which, if you go right back to first principles, is to be happy.

thinking about Andrew is not making you happy right now - and from the way you describe it, even if you can manage good feelings for a bit, it always leads you back to feelings of want and desperation. The chances of getting what you want when you are in a state of desperation are slim to zero.

So, since you can't think about Andrew with detachment, it's time to stop thinking about it - move on. The universe will still know what you want - but you have to focus on finding happiness within yourself, and direct your mind away from thinking that makes you feel anxious or desperate. And once you've found that happiness in yourself, Andrew (or more likely, someone even better) will come to you.

Does that make any sense?

[BELE]

bravelioness: Basically, you should stop wanting (to receive (step 3) you need to get out of step 1: asking). (It may be difficult, I know.) To do that you should (a) put yourself in an emotional state where you feel as if you really have what you asked for (this is step 2: believe). If you manage to do that, you will stop wanting (why want something you already have?). If you cannot do that, it may help to (b) detach or to (c) just walk away and focus on something else instead. There are different methods to get past the negative feelings and get into the vortex where we can receive what we have asked for. (Sometimes the negative emotions pass by themelves after some time.) One thing is finding and working on your beliefs, so that you have more positive expectations about the situation. Another method is identifying and defining the problem and then identifying and defining 12 positive aspects of it, which can make you feel better about the situation. Hicks have a lot of techniques for this, e.g. in "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent".

[bravelioness]

@Ginny-yeah.It does.so I should stop thinking about Andrew and the patching up that I want to happen?Is that what you mean?