I don't know what to do.

[marioska]

Hi all of you! Hope you're having a nice day ^^ I'd like that you help me... My situation at home with my parents (well, with my mother particularly) is horrible. She just talks to me to tell me how unuseful I am. I am studying, my marks last year were excellent, I try to help as much as I can, and I don't think I'm being as bad as she says. I promise that I've thought a lot about that, but every person tht knows about this stuff tells me that she is the one that doesn't behave right. She never listens to me. I miss the times when I was a child and I missed her, I hugged her, I just wanted to be with her. Now I feel bad because I just wanna be far from her. I though this would be for some years, maybe when I was a teenager, but now I'm 20 and the situation, instead of being better is getting worse and worse. I feel really bad about this, and I don't know what  to do. Sometimes I don't do things just not to have problems with her. I'm frightened of her reactions. Thanks for reading!

[arminhul]

Hi Marioska

Dont feel bad. One of the things about growing up is that we have to let our parents be like children, let them be unreasonable like how we used to be when we were kids. We have to take care of them.

I know it is not easy. Sometimes we just want to shout out. But we are no more kids. We have to be more mature. You mother loves you a lot. It could just be that she is stressed, has some tensions, something bothering her. Try to find out if that is so. If you are near you mom now, just go and hug her right away.

[marioska]

I feel frightened of her reaction if I try to hugh her. Not because she's gonna hit me, just because everytime I try to find out what's happening with her she always thinks that I have a bad intention. Thank you so much for your reply!

[arminhul]

Dont be scared. You know is wont help you. She is your mom, why will she think you have bad intentions. Again LOA here. If you think so then it might happen. Hug her, tell her your feelings, tell her you are scared and then your mom will take care of the rest. She will understand you. 

Just go and hug her Marioska.

[marioska]

I'm just crying because I want to do it but I forget about it. When did our feelings change? I'm not pretending to be like when I was 5, I just want her to understand that I want my own life to live it.

[arminhul]

Hey Marioska, its ok.

Maybe you mom feels like she is being left out of your life. I know it is not so. But mothers are like that. Things will sort out. For now just go and hug her. You can cry and hug her. Take your dad's or siblings help. Feelings have not changed, just priorities have and that need not be a bad thing. Just hug her girl. Take a step on your own.

[adam425]

I am sorry to hear about your situation.

Send her loving thoughts. Our thoughts are so, so powerful. Everyday send her loving thoughts of love, hug her with your thoughts.
It is a good place to start if you are scared of a face to face conflict with her.

By sending her love everyday, you will see love come your way.

[marioska]

Thanks for your replies, it feels really good. I'll send loving thoughts to you too! I need to calm down right now, but I'll talk to her.

[crazysoul]

marioska,

how about moving out when this situation causes you hurt and feeling unworth?
i mean, it is your mother, but sometimes its better to seperate from living with each other, then the relation will sure get better for you both

[marioska]

I asked her to move to a flat with a friend of mine, because that would be better for my studies too, but she wanted to see my marks first. Then, when I showed her them, she said that that's what I have to do, to have good marks. I'm not asking for a reward, but her answer shocked me. Then, I told her that now that I have those good marks she could let me go to the city. Her answer was no. No more reasons, "don't ask me any more questions, I said no, go to sleep" I depend on my parents because I'm studying and my jobs aren't enough to survive there. So I just don't know what to do.

[iloverainbows]

Hi Marioska,

It sounds like this situation is really toxic for you. I'm sorry you're going through it. You love your Mum obviously, but you shouldn't have to put up with her negativity. In fact, you DON'T have to. It sounds clear that she has her own issues which she is taking out on you instead of being an adult and dealing with herself. Because of that you're feeling pressured and confused and upset.

These issues are HER stuff. Please get out of there rather than letting her put her crap onto you (that's what it is, emotional crap). Yes, send her love, and think of her lovingly...but you don't have to allow youself to be an emotional punching bag, if you see what I'm saying? Especially not from your Mum, who can have a major impact on you and whom you can be very vunerable with.

I suggest you move out. You're 20 years old so it's not up to her (I mean, looking at your marks is very controlling behaviour anyway). You're an adult so you don't need her permission. Just move out and then she will see you more as an adult. She might throw a bit of a tantrum but make sure you have good friends around you supporting you and you'll be OK. I know what you said about depending on your parents supporting you. Remember the secret...that's not who you ARE...it's who you WERE.

I'm sure you can manifest a way for you to move out and be OK. Maybe it will be moving your studies to part time so you can earn more. Maybe it will be a friend who will let you stay with them in return for lower rent or supplimenting your rent with doing cooking and cleaning for them. Maybe some nice long lost awesome aunt or older sister will move to your city and let you stay with them for free. Just focus on how good it will feel to be in your own happy space and be self-sufficient and I'm sure you will find a way. Just please don't let your Mum shovel her nonsense onto you anymore. It's seriously unhealthy and you don't deserve it.

[crazysoul]

oh marioska,

you dont have to ask her if you can move out, do you?
if you move out, the universe will send you a way to survive without your mother, speaking on your financial situation.
dont think you depend, i know what you mean, but fact is, that if you think you depend on them, you will depend.
there will be a way to get the money thing right. i had the same, so believe me.
money will come to your way and you will be free from being teated unfair.
believe it and trust, there is a possibility to live on your own!!!

ONCE ONE DOOR CLOSED; ANOTHER ONE WILL OPEN.
you are protected by the universe and by god- dont ever forget that.

living still at home under these circumstances cant and wont be good for you.
you can still love her and build up a new relationship with her, once you moved out.

you can do it and new ways will be showing up!!!!!

SENDING YOUR CLARITY!!!

[marioska]

Thanks again ^^ Reading your replies it seems really easy. I completely forgot that I can manifest something better. I don't wanna leave my studies, so I'll concentrate on creating something possible with that situation, like a part time job. I'll keep you updated, because now I need to think about this! 

[crazysoul]

you go girl!!

YEAH YOU FORGOT ABOUT HAVING THE POWER TO MANIFEST ALL!!

i am happy that we could give you a "brainwash" haha

you are already living on your own with peace

keep us updated plz and dont forget to take actions when you feel its right

 

[adam425]

Hey again,

Yes I totally agree with everyone here, you do not deserve this. And you can create a better place for yourself. Actually there is a Law about this. The Law Of Sacrifice, sometimes you have to give something up of a lower nature, to allow yourself receive something of a higher nature. There is a loving, warm place waiting for you. You just have to forgive your Mom, sending her loving thoughts, but take care of yourself. You WILL receive that warm loving place for you to be.

Sending Energy Your Way