Author Topic: I am still in love with my ex gf who left me for another guy 6 months back, help (Read 2958 times)

Grateful Sunshine :) · « **Reply #30 on:** November 18, 2011, 07:56:35 AM »

Arminhul I have been follwoing your story for quite some time now..And I think you do a little work on you because of which you see results and then you are back to the old mode.You can try remote seduction if you want..People have had great success with it.However I am not sure if you can influnence your ex to daily call/talk to you.LOA is not black magic..its a way of LIVING YOUR DREAM LIFE.
Second thing which I really do not like is the fact that you always want your ex to cry and ask for frgiveness.I am not sure where but I have read plenty of times this.I feel you are to a degree behaving out of ego.hy do you want her to be dramatic or cry or ask for your forgiveness.She hasnt done something wrong.At times you fall out of love and both the parties are equally involved in this.I did break up with a guy before my bf..I dont mean to discourage you but yes I started getting attracted to my bf even when I was still in relationship with the ex.And then I left that relationship..This was three years back and I dont regret it.I am not saying she cant come back.Well with LOA you can have anything in YOUR LIFE to make it YOUR DREAM LIFE! but am sure you cant base it on another person or thing.
Please understand and accept your responsibility!!
I hope I dont sound harsh..I dont mean to but yes I got little irritated on that crying and begging thing.You are doing great with yur guitar..FInd some more things to do that make you happy

OmAumOm · « **Reply #31 on:** November 18, 2011, 09:06:17 AM »

I agree with Bal here... wanting your ex to come back and ask for forgiveness is definitely out of pride... do you really want your ex to suffer emotionally like that? It's as if you just want revenge, you just want her to suffer like you have. Which is understandable, I mean we are human and we do have egos... but if you really want her back you have to forgive her. Forgive her for the pain she caused you. Accept that she's a human being just like you, and she has her own desires and goals that, right now, may not involve you. Accept the fact that the relationship is over. How do you begin a new relationship if you're not over the old one? Another thing I think you need to do is forgive the guy she's with now. I remember reading that you hated him or something like that, or that you wanted to hurt him. Imagine if you were with a new girl, and you found out your ex wanted to hurt your new girlfriend. You'd feel repulsed, angered, and you'd see your ex as someone who cannot take control of their own lives and emotions. You keep trying to attract her back and detach, but it sounds like you still have not forgiven her. I'm not sure if you've tried EFT but you could begin tapping it out "even though (your ex's name) hurt me I fully and completely accept myself" etc. This is the key step that brings you towards detachment. You were really happy that she contacted you, which is fine, but make sure you're happy within yourself with or without her. I hope this didn't sound like an attack, I was in your position and I know what it's like and I'm really trying to help

good luck and much love!

arminhul · « **Reply #32 on:** November 18, 2011, 04:20:18 PM »

Bal, OmAumOm

Thank you. I know you don't mean to be harsh.

Let me explain why the crying part features so much in my posts. I was and I believe I still am though she won't admit it her best friend. Before me she never was so close to anyone. In the time we were together we got very close, she trusted me like no one else.

Now she used to cry a lot. By a lot I mean more than usual. Every month around the time of her periods. I know women have mood swings during menstrual cycle but with her it was worse. I used to be scared. But I was not the reason for her crying. In the beginning she would want to break up with me every month during her periods. She would say things like I am crazy, I am not good enough for you, I am not beautiful, I don't deserve you. But I stuck by her, always supported her. She loved me even more for that. She told me that she suffers from PMDD, post menstraul dysfunction disorder.

I used to joke to her that - do you cry much because I pamper you so much. You cry because you know I won't let you and love you more? She would give a small smile and go back to crying on my shoulder.

I don't want her to beg to me. Hell no. I love her too much. I forgave her long ago.

Since the break up she has called me and cried to me twice. First time this happened I had asked her why she called me, this was after a long period of no contact. She told me she was feeling lonely and she wanted to speak to someone she could trust. She called me and not her boyfriend. That felt good. She had asked me then if she deserves my friendship, I had said yes. But this was months ago, she is still with him.

I imagine her crying because I have this hope that she would turn to me for support. I so want to listen to her voice. (This was my state until a month back, now I am in more control.)

Around the time we broke up, I had talked to her mom and she had said that she had not been crying much lately. When we broke up she was very harsh when she spoke to me. I could not believe my ears, what all she said to me. We were in different cities and I used to call her. The things she said, I could not believe it was her I was talking to. It was like she was some other person and I did not know her.

Its only when she cried to me that I felt that love was still there. The connection was still there. I felt like I was talking to the person I love. Otherwise she is not the way I remember her to be. I was never insecure or jealous in our relationship. I never minded her talking or mingling with other guys, and when she changed cities and mingled with other guys even more , not even then did I mind.

About the other guy. Yes it is a constant struggle for me to forgive him. He does have a very big role in destroying my relationship. I lost my love, I lost my best friend. I am like a minor acquaintance now. I had talked to the guy and told her about it and she had told me then to not talk to him saying that I was sabotaging her relationship with him. She knows me better than that. And this is just one of the terrible things she said. That guy mocked me when I had talked to him. If not for that mockery, I would most probably not dislike him so much.

I had asked him tell me are you two together, he did not have the guts to tell me that. How do I come to know that, I get removed from facebook friends, blocked and then she changes her relationship status to being with that guy.

I do not hate him, haven’t hated him for about 20 days now. But I don't have to like him. I understand and accept that perhaps my relationship was not strong enough. But I know this, if I had been in that guy’s position I would never have done what he did.

She is emotionally vulnerable, I was not close by, she made new friends, other guys hit on her like crazy, this guy is a player(been with women before) he did not hit on her like the others, befriended her and she was swept away. Can you imagine what that guy must have done, that she talked to me like that? Behave with me like that. She trusted me so much. Maybe it was her way of detaching herself from me, but knowing her it still does not make sense.

I don't want her to beg, I don't want her to be sad, its just I don’t know, I just love her. One moment I am well confident. Coming to this forum makes me feel more confident. More positive. Reading about others successes makes me confident. When I read about someone else who is in a similar predicament, I try to make them feel positive, it makes me feel more positive. I am still try to be detach myself completely. But then I am only human.

I am not full of pride kind of guy who wants his ex to come begging to him. No, I do not want that. But I do know there will be tears when she does come back, both of us will cry. Tears of joy, that is what they are.

arminhul · « **Reply #33 on:** November 22, 2011, 06:14:42 PM »

I am applying LOA, visualising, thinking, imagining, concentrating on the positive thoughts, reading up more on LOA where I can find it. Micheal Losier's book is really very good on avoiding negative thoughts.

I have also been trying remote influencing. I keep affirming that she calls me and feel good about it. But nothing yet has happened. I do believe she will call eventually. But should I take a step and call her on my own?

I would rather she calls. I do see her online from time to time. And she is uploading a lot of pics of herself and her activities lately on facebook. Should call her and say well done, make her feel appreciated?

I do feel like talking to her, but it is not desperate, I can do without talking, does this mean I am attached?

irishgirl69 · « **Reply #34 on:** November 22, 2011, 06:56:39 PM »

My general rule, for what it's worth, is if I feel like I need to second guess whether or not contacting him/her is the right thing to do, then it's not. Anytime I have contacted my guy when I didn't think twice about it, it was the right thing to do. When I contacted him and had some trepidation about it, I didn't get a great outcome.

I know it's difficult to be applying LOA and not SEE any progress, but that doesn't mean progress isn't happening behind the scenes. If you want her to be the one to contact you, then stick to that. Have you thought about the possibility that she is posting pics, etc., because she wants you to think about her?

Always remind yourself that we can't worry about how our desire will come to us and by questioning whether or not things are working, being willing to accept less than what we desire (you contacting her versus what you really want), that's questioning it.

arminhul · « **Reply #35 on:** November 22, 2011, 11:40:47 PM »

Thank you Irishgirl69

Well I decided not to contact. When LOA has finished doing what I want it to do, she will call me.

I read Micheal Losier book - Law of Attraction and followed what he has told.

I made a clarity and contrast list. Things I don't like and like about how matters are at present.

Then I wrote a desire statement of the things I want, being thankful and all.

Then to remove doubts and negativity I wrote down allowings statements as is given in the book.

It really helped a lot. I feel positive.

Sometimes I feel if only I had discovered about LOA and this forum before, I would have recovered long ago. I spent so long being sad and depressed.

But never mind I know now, yahoooooooooo

JOY TO ALL

Grateful Sunshine :) · « **Reply #36 on:** November 23, 2011, 07:07:12 AM »

I agree with Irishgal..
Clearly now I can differentiate between contact someone at peace and at desperation within myself.Whenever you are in harmony or alignment or as someone calls it IN the vortex..and you call someone and you are ready for anything and you know nothing can change your this state of being..while out of desperation first thing that gets hurt is ego and you feel pity at yourself or angry or a fool that why did you tried at first place.Well these are the emotions I have atleast and now I can clearly know where I am.If you are at first place..Contact her!,If not Work Inwards!
Regarding LOA working or not,I think its one's own belief..about how it will work!I never wanted to initiate contact and I wanted my guy to do it and then work it out and it did happen!!There are peopel who have got back who initiated so its all the beliefs that matters!
And Ariminhul Do you really want to appreciate her for uploading her pics..if yes go ahead!If you are doing it to influence her in anyway..dont do it!! Trust me she will catch your vibration..People does.When I broke up with my ex and there were some days when he attempted to talk nicely..and appreciate and behave normal (Well he cursed me a lot during initial break up period that how I have distroyed his confidence and stuff)I still felt wrong talking to him..I mean I always could make out his vibration.Though back then I knew nothing about the Law..and so I never wanted to talk to him..so first be clear what exactly where you are!

Lika · « **Reply #37 on:** November 23, 2011, 02:39:25 PM »

Interesting Bal,

I agree with you. i have also one question for you. How did you manage to initiate contact with him?

What were you affirming?

Since I was the one who initiated the contact, now I want him do do it this time.

can you please advice

Grateful Sunshine :) · « **Reply #38 on:** November 23, 2011, 04:50:38 PM »

Lidija..
I was not affirming anything..no visualization nothing..back then I barely knew about LOA.All I did was to take off my mind from my guy to PhD options and I was honestly looking for futher studies..I guess I unknowingly got into the Let go part soon and after 1 month of no contact he initiated contact on his own and then we took it slowely from there.This was the thing of March this year and now we are back in relationship with he being much more involved..(Thanks to I AM affirmations and LOA) and we are considering marriage.

arminhul · « **Reply #39 on:** November 23, 2011, 06:45:34 PM »

I think, I should wait some more time. Anyway I asked the Universe that I want her to initiate. And I know she will.

57angel · « **Reply #40 on:** November 24, 2011, 05:45:50 AM »

Arminhul, there is a perfect and right time,there is a perfect and right way for everything. Keep working inwards, keep making yourself the best and the happiest you can be

Since you trust that she will, it will really happen - less negative thoughts on that desire

arminhul · « **Reply #41 on:** November 29, 2011, 10:43:57 PM »

Hi guys

I havent been posting any questions I thought I won't have any doubts and even if I have I will just ignore them and keep the hope that my wish will be granted.

I have also started to follow Brad Yates tapping videos on youtube and do them everyday. I do tapping for 4 differents things. I do them one after the other, we can do that right?

My trouble is I am again feeling like talking to her, really talking to her. She uploaded a new pic of hers on facebook and god she was looking so pretty. I have been asking the universe to give me some sign, to make her give me a call, or do something because of which I can confidently call her.

I think I am still attached. This detachment thing is tough, I keep see-sawing. One moment I am at peace, confident that she will be mine, that we will be together again, my love will win, but then again these negative feelings come up.

Another thing I havent really been conciously trying to visualise myself with her. I do, do it, but its not like I follow a routine. I do it when I feel like it and then don't.

I need a positive sign. How do I manifest it? Preferably a phone call.

Thank you.

Lika · « **Reply #42 on:** November 29, 2011, 11:38:04 PM »

Arminhul,

Just give her a call!!! Don't push yourself from that contact. And do it without fear. What are you going to lose? Your pride? I don't think so..
Go a head man!

I am sure that she will be happy to hear your voice, and after that you will see if she is interested for you or maybe is just in a friendly mood.

arminhul · « **Reply #43 on:** November 30, 2011, 10:51:56 PM »

Ok, I did not call her. I was hesitant to call. Don't know what to think this means. Am I attached or not attached I don't know. Maybe I am afraid to again go back to feeling like talking to her everyday.

I have a query about something I noticed today. I see her name at different places. I mean her name is a little out of the ordinary(but not weird) and I keep seeing her name written on different products in shops or at home or in the newspaper or some magazine(not articles). Right now I can't think of other places where I see her name but I see it quite often and unexpectedly all the time. I definitely don't think I am looking for the name being written anywhere. Why do I keep seeing this. Today I went to a shop and saw her name on a product. Why does it catch my eye, I am not looking for it.

What does this mean? I had asked for a sign from the universe, does this qualify as a sign to make a move and call her?

irishgirl69 · « **Reply #44 on:** December 01, 2011, 12:54:41 AM »

You're still attached. If you weren't, you wouldn't feel this desperation or question anything.

It seems like you're not allowing things to flow. You're saying "I'm doing everything right - why isn't anything happening?" That is putting out the vibration that you're lacking. For most of us, doing something once to remove negative beliefs, etc., is not going to be enough. This is a process and you need to keep that in mind.