I am still in love with my ex gf who left me for another guy 6 months back, help

[arminhul]

Hi guys

I was recently introduced to LOA, throught the book The Secret. ANd I have been trying to use it since then.

Here is my story.

I was in a relationship for 3.5 years. It was our first love for both of us and I was sure it was going to my only love. We met in college and fell in love were best friends and were so close even my ex gf mother used to say I know her daughter better than she does.

Well after college she changed cities, I stayed back and it was a long distance love for a year. She had come here on holiday once last was Nov 2010 and all was fine then. Things went wrong or I realised something is wrong in April. By May she was gone left me for another guy and I was in shock for along time. Still find it hard to believe sometimes. She gave a lot of excuses and accusations most of which were purely rubbish. I had taken up a job in my city and used to be busy in it. She was busy preparing for some MBA college. She used to take coaching classes and met some guy there. Lots of other guys hit on her. This guy did not and to cut a long story very short she left me. Said terrible things I could not believe she said to me of all people. I was never bad with her in any way. I was always very loving.

After she left my life turned upside down. I lost 10 kilos in less than a month and and still not regained that weight. My job in which I was well liked and ahead of fellow trainees, I fell behind, things went so bad I was asked to leave. I have been jobless since then.


I have tried to let go. I have tried to ask myself why I love her, if it is really love at all. Why I continue to love her even after she treated me worse than anyone has ever treated me. Her present relationship is also a long distance one. The guy lives in another city because they got into different institutes. The first time she called me after a long time of no contact she was crying on the phone, she said she was feeling lonely and needed to speak to someone she could trust. Then again she became unwilling to talk saying she was busy. I tried calling but nothing she would not talk much or not answer or cut the phone on my face get angry for no reason. Then I stopped calling. Then she agian called me once and she was crying agian saying you don't know the pressures and problems I face here in college. Then same behviour again, unwilling to talk, busy all the time.


She dumped me ad very unceremoniouly at that. Thing is now what do I do. How to let her go or how to get her back. I am absolutely certain I love her and that she loved me too. Now she doesn't but when I think back of our time together I somehow feel that she will come back to me that she will again need me. I imagine her crying to me, wanting me back, me going to meet her in her college.

I want to be happy. I want to be free and strong. I do love her yes but I want to let go, she never initiates contact. I have tried imagining that she calls me.

Please tell me how to go about it.

[Vicki Christina]

 Hello, I am sorry to read about your painful situation.   Many people here have been in your shoes and many people are working their way up to a better feeling so they can attract their relationship again.  I will also add that many people have had a successful reunion and renewed romance with their partners.   Please begin by reading the top threads in the relationship section which are highlighted as members have worked to put together information for renewing relationships.    Also I think you will need to find some solace in more books on the topic of LOA such as the Power by Rhonda Burns, The law of Attraction by Michael Losier - a good step by step guide for implementing your guideposts, and Mike Dooley's books are positive and help give ideas for visualizing and raising vibrations.   There are many more books but these are easy to read and extract information from.    Everyone goes through a time of emotional pain.   So do not think you are doing something wrong at this point.   There is no quick fix.  It is a learning process.   Keep reading and posting.  Hugs, VC

[arminhul]

Thank you Vicki Christina

Yes I have been through the first 3 posts. I believe this will work I keep feeling a need to here from others that my life will be set right. Thing is we don't talk at all. If at all we do it is only me who inititates.  And we live far away she is in another city and yes she is kind of busy but she does not think of me when she is free. Can believing in the power of LOA help in my attempts, in my long distance, no contact case

8 nov is her birthday, i feel left out of her life, do i wish her on fb or do i call her or sms her? She recently added me back on facebook. She online on chat but never talks on her own, and then she is busy with work all the time when I talk? Can visualising chatting with her, help in actually chatting with her?

I so want to talk to her. Listen to her, just listen. But I am not as desparate as before though. 

Thank you again.

I am following LOA the best I can. It feels good to feel good, feel hopeful, feel positive.

[arminhul]

Here's my affirmations and visualizations.

Everything is going great in my life again. My ex who had left me is now my gf again. . She called me told me she was mistaken and that she is sure now that I am the one for her after all. She cried a lot that time. She now calls me everyday. We have to a lot to catch up on so we talk for at least 15 minutes everyday. She keeps telling me she is sorry for leaving me and loves me, truly loves me. She cries too. And I keep telling her that she does not have to keep apologizing, I know she loves me, I knew she would come back. She even declared she loves me on facebook for the whole world to see and it got a ton of likes and teasing comments from all our friends. We are best friends again. This relationship is so much more better than the previous one. We are both mature and we know what we want, and we want each other. . I recently went to meet her in her college. God it was so beautiful to meet her and hold her again. She ran to meet me at the gate. She smiled at me as she saw me. Then her eyes welled up and she ran and hugged me and cried like she used to before. I was crying to too, it was more than a year since we last met. We were just standing in the middle of her college hugging each other and crying. It was beautiful, I felt more alive than I had felt in months, I felt like I was breathing again after a long time. She just wouldn't let me go. And I know she would never let me go now anymore. We are soulmates after all.


Thank you for everything, my love, my parents, my life, my health, my loved ones health, my awesomely cool job, my salary. Thank you for my peace of mind and my happiness.

Thank you for solving all our troubles and making all our desires come true. Thank you.


(Ok, how was that?)

[Vicki Christina]

I believe this will work I keep feeling a need to here from others that my life will be set right. Thing is we don't talk at all. If at all we do it is only me who inititates.  And we live far away she is in another city and yes she is kind of busy but she does not think of me when she is free. Can believing in the power of LOA help in my attempts, in my long distance, no contact case

You can use LOA to make changes.  The changes come from within first.  Then they are felt by the people we have connections with in our world.   Keep reading the suggested material.  Your affirmations are nice, but sometimes it is good to affirm for a positive goal like a meeting or dinner then go from there.  Perhaps a simple birthday hello would be nice since she does have you on FB. 

[Vicki Christina]

Power of Positivity

Start moving forward. Just go until you get there. Once you get there, start on the new goal you were thinking about along the way.   


I make my affirmations in steps like the FB site above implied today!

[arminhul]

Hi

I smsed my ex gf happy birthday last night. No response. I called her today morning to wish her no response. I feel so dejected. I mean she must have seen the message, she could not even reply back. She has been responding to everyone on facebook who wished her. Its like I don't even exist. And I sincerely believe I never did anything to deserve such treatment from her. I hate her present bf right now. I blame him from the loss of my best friend and my love.

I love her. But I wonder now, should I even try to have her back. I want to try. But I don't know. I feel terrible today. I do not want to hate that bf of hers but I feel like seeking vengeance. I don't want to actually but I still feel like inflicting some pain in return to that guy. I hate feeling like this. I know I am better than this. I feel like a weakling that inspite of everything she has put me through I still love her. I don't really have a reason to love her. I just do. It's like breathing. What do I do? I don't want to feel like this.

Someone please tell her, there is hope. She is a lovely person and I simply can't understand why she is being like this with me. I stopped being clingly long ago. I still am though because I feel horrible today.  I have clearly not let go. It still hurts. Should I remove her from facebook friends and block her on facebook and gtalk? I also have her bf on chat in gtalk. I have never blocked them because I thought I would not descend to their level. And also because of curiosity.

Here is what I want. Is this possible.

I want to be strong, free of her. I want her to be able to exercise absolutely no power over me. I want to be like a rock, unshakeble. I want to become the best man I can be. I want her to call me and want me back. And to pursue me. We live in different cities and there is no contact, how do I apply LOA to make her call me and want to talk me, and eventually want to be with me again.


Please tell me, someone, Vicki, anyone what to do and how to do?

What do I visualize? What do i wish for? I love her but she clearly is not bothered if I am dead or alive, just wishing she loves me again, should I wish for it? I am certain her present relationship with her bf wont last because they don't know each other that well and they live in different cities and a hell lot of other reasons. But I am certain. As are my friends on this. But if she happy with him should I be wishing she come back to me? Wouldn't that be selfish of me? I do want her again and if I think of how much close we were it seems like I am living a nightmare and I might wake up and discover it was just a dream.


What do I do, please tell? I have so many questions. Is there a chat system on this forum? My gtalk id is arminhul@gmail.com.

[irishgirl69]

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain.  My advice to you is to take the focus off of her completely right now.  You are full of pain and desperation and for your emotional health, as well as any success with LOA, you need to change that.  Block her if seeing what she is doing is hurting you.  And block the guy - that should have been the first thing you did - that is leading no where good.

For now, don't worry about trying to attract her back.  Attract YOU back.  Find a way to make yourself happy and whole without her.  Focus on your interests, health, friends, etc.  You will have sad times, but do it.  Once you have regained your happiness then you can think about whether or not you want her back.  At that point, you can start to implement the different tools and techniques explained here and in books.

Do not contact her.  Texting and calling her was way too much.  If you wanted to wish her happy birthday, you should have just posted on facebook and left it at that.  You should never contact her unless her response is of no significance to you.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

[arminhul]

Thank you for reading ma'am.


I have blocked the guy and her and deactivated my fb account. I want her to know nothing about my life. Should I also block her number on my phone. I did realise long ago that I need to find myself, get myself out of this mess. But then she calls and cries on the phone and I begin to think all is not lost and then she stops talking and I become all sad desperate.

How do I attract myself back? Do I visualize myself having fun, doing the things I always wanted to do, did before?

Thank you.

[irishgirl69]

It's up to you if you want to block her on your phone.  You need to make these decision for yourself - do what you're comfortable with.

I would suggest doing a lot of reading on LOA - that will answer many of your questions.  The basis of LOA is self-love.  You can't base your happiness around anyone but you.  Once you are the center of your life, you will begin to manifest amazing things.  There are no shortcuts and I can't give you specific things to do to get there - you have ot figure it out for yourself.  This forum is full of a lot of amazing information - take some time to read through it and do some research.

[arminhul]

irishgirl69

I bought a guitar and am concentrating on teaching myself to play it. Blocking my ex gf and her bf online has helped and guitar has helped even more. I don't think so much about her as I used to. I think if I continue like this I will soon reach the point where it won't matter to me whether she is mine or not. I still do love her. But she hurt me I never hurt her, unless she realises on her own I really can't do nothing and also we are in different cities.

I know how much I loved her, I am trying to keep the belief that she will come to me.

This forum is great . Reading about other people who are in a similar position as me makes me feel strong, I am not alone.

Let what is best happen. Thank you Universe for your help. I believe in you and I believe in my love.

[irishgirl69]

Good for you, I'm glad you're feeling better.  You are right in that once you regain your happiness, you might decide that she is not the one for you after all and that is okay.  Don't worry about that right now, just work on getting yurself back and it sounds like you are on the right track.  When you're feeling better, you can think about what qualities your perfect woman will have and you can put out your intention to find her.  It might be your gf or it might not be.  But either way, you will be just fine.

[arminhul]

Hi

I think I am moving on. I felt a pang of sadness just once today. I still do want my ex gf back but it does not seem so important anymore. I want to be in love again and preferably I would want it to be my ex gf. But I am ready for anyone else too. I still believe that what I had with my ex was very deep very true and it can't just disappear seeing as I haven't done anything of the sort to drive her away. Even when she left me apart from the clingy and desperate bits I have been pretty dignified, I never tried to hurt my ex in return. Everything I did do, the way I behaved was because I loved her(do) and because I was very sad and shocked. But time did heal my wounds.

I havent been visualising me with my ex last few days. She of course does keep coming into my head but it is lot less than before.

I bought a guitar and most of the times I keep dreaming of playing the guitar like a expert. Hope is manifests soon.

But should I be also thinkking of my ex gf as I still feel like we are meant to be together.
I really have no reason to think so, I just feel it, I also don't have a reason to love my ex gf, I just do.

So, should I be visualizing about it? My ex and me together?

[irishgirl69]

You should be doing whatever feels right to you.  Nothing in terms of LOA should ever be done with the intention of making something happen.  You should only visualize yourself with her if it makes you feel good.  If you don't feel a need to do that then don't force yourself to.

It sounds like you're on the right track.  Don't overanaylze, don't doubt, just keep listening to your intuition as to what you should be doing.

[arminhul]

I made the mistake of looking at my ex profile. And I feel like idiot again. I feel anger at my ex gf. Anger is something I hadn't felt at her all this while. It is not that she does not love me that makes me mad, it the fact that she dropped me like a used thing and treated me truly horribly.

She didn't just leave me, she told reasons which completely destroyed me and my confidence, made me a wreck, I went from cool fun guy to super loser extremely fast. She told me among many things one reason for leaving - "if I can find better guys why should I stay with you".

To be plain she was very bitchy. I can't believe I am using this word for her. I think what pisses me most is that she did not even respond to my birthday wish. And she broke up with me near my birthday 6 months back. I was crying on my birthday all day. I did not even eat on my birthday. Most terrible birthday of my life.

Right now I am feeling like calling her and telling her off. Someone wish I don't do that.

How can one person go from being so nice to so horrible? I was never never bad with her? Is just falling out of love justification for treating your ex horribly? I have tried to believe that goodness remains inside my ex but why does she behave so horribly with me? She is nice with others. What did I do wrong? In the 3.5 years we were together I was never bad with her. Never. I was always honest, hid nothing from her, my weakness my most embarassing secrets. She also told me hers. Her family troubles, everything.

What did I do to attract all this from her in my life? I was working and enjoying my life. I was in love. Though the place I worked in, I was the only guy and rest were all beautiful females. I used to worry at times what if I turn out to be a jerk and just leave my gf(ex) because I fall in love or just plain do something stupid in office? Did this attract my ex leaving me?

I never even dreamed she would do this to me. She used to be a bit insecure when she was hear of a few of my close childhood female friends and few stunners in our college. But I always told her that she was the one for me and come what may I would never betray her. But I never asked her for any affirmation of whether she would leave me or not. I trusted her so much.

What did I think wrong to attract this? I really need to know. Was it my slight fear of doing what my ex gf did that maybe caused it?