LOA brought me something better than my ex...it brought me to realization that I needed to face the reality that I want better for myself. Many of us say it's our fault for the break-up, but I don't think in a relationship that one person is ever to be blamed for it's demise (unless the other person was a perfect being). After I decided to go NC about two-weeks ago I have had more clarity and I feel more happy to make that choice. I have been reading articles on relationships and something really stood out to me, "if someone doesn't treat you with care, love and respect while you are in a relationship. They don't deserve your friendship." People can't just be allowed to walk in and out of our lives as they please. I know many here are trying to attract their exes and maybe that is the right thing for you, but I am realizing it is not for me.
They say the universe gives you lessons over and over again until you learn them. My last relationship was identical to this. He broke up with me for vague reasons, I then found out he actually left me for someone else, but I wanted to be "nice" and "prove" I was worthy by being the best friend I could be. He strung me along for a whole year while with someone else, and pretends he is not doing so, then one late night one year and four days later he confesses his love for me. I was so happy, it was what I always wanted he was my prize, the relationship that we had after that was terrible. He was still the confused person he always was, not telling the whole truth etc, and finally I ended it, wishing I had let the other woman keep him.
I am now faced with the same situation, but the difference is now, I refuse to stick around to be the good "friend" until he realizes what he lost. If we do get back together, how will our story go when our children ask, what kind of role model will I be for my daughters? If we remain friends and I do move on to someone else, how can I really respect myself or expect my partner to respect me when I am hanging on to someone who mistreated me, caused me pain, never apologized and I call this person a friend.
I haven't told my ex that I want to resume NC, because we haven't spoken, so when he approaches me I will let him know. For me, the past sometimes needs to stay in the past. Our break-up taught me so many lessons, so I'm taking those lessons and leaving him behind.
They say the universe gives you lessons over and over again until you learn them. My last relationship was identical to this. He broke up with me for vague reasons, I then found out he actually left me for someone else, but I wanted to be "nice" and "prove" I was worthy by being the best friend I could be. He strung me along for a whole year while with someone else, and pretends he is not doing so, then one late night one year and four days later he confesses his love for me. I was so happy, it was what I always wanted he was my prize, the relationship that we had after that was terrible. He was still the confused person he always was, not telling the whole truth etc, and finally I ended it, wishing I had let the other woman keep him.
I am now faced with the same situation, but the difference is now, I refuse to stick around to be the good "friend" until he realizes what he lost. If we do get back together, how will our story go when our children ask, what kind of role model will I be for my daughters? If we remain friends and I do move on to someone else, how can I really respect myself or expect my partner to respect me when I am hanging on to someone who mistreated me, caused me pain, never apologized and I call this person a friend.
I haven't told my ex that I want to resume NC, because we haven't spoken, so when he approaches me I will let him know. For me, the past sometimes needs to stay in the past. Our break-up taught me so many lessons, so I'm taking those lessons and leaving him behind.
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