Hello guys, hope everyone is doing well! This is just another rant really and need to get some things off my chest.
Recently my parents have been going through a hard time and the stress of looking after my mum is starting to rub off on other people. My dad had an affair last year, which my mum found out about in December. Since then, he has messed with my mum's heart as he keeps changing his mind about who he wants. He moved out of their house for the 3rd time in six months to be with this other woman and this time it's for good. My mum is heartbroken and everytime I go round it's killing me to see her so upset.
Anyway, today I rang my boyfriend to see if he was busy becauase I had an hour to spare. He said he was busy getting ready to go out with his friends and I didn't press the issue, I like to give him his space. However, we somehow got into an argument, but I know that I initiated it because everything that's been happening has boosted my temper considerably. He then said "Well, considering i'm busy, call up another guy, I'm sure he'll meet you instead." It was a very immature comment and I'm pretty sure he said it out of spite but it made me flip out big time. He also said that he hates being on the phone with me nowadays because we tend to argue too much. He's a very stubborn guy and it's very hard to stop the arguing once it's begun but I know that I cause it.
I ended up seeing him for half an hour and he hugged me for a while and I burst into tears, he said to me "I'm not going anywhere, don't be sad sweetheart." So we sorted it out, but I know that I'm putting a lot of strain on our relationship and it's hurting us both. I'm really stressed from constantly worrying about my mother, because I know she's in the right mind frame to do something stupid. She talks very frequently about taking her own life. I'm taking it out on my boyfriend and one of our problems when we broke up last year was because we argued too much. I do not want this to happen again. I guess I'm just asking for a few cheer ups and some advice on how to stop ruining other aspects of my life..
Also, my inability to deal with stress has cost me my education. I work, but I pay to study A levels to get some qualifications behind me. My attendance has been appalling and I really doubt I can continue with my studies. Agh, I'm so frustrated and it's my own fault really but some advice would be appreciated. I feel like I've f*cked my education up AND that I'm slowly losing my boyfriend.
August 08, 2012, 02:24:33 PM
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