Hi Everyone. Here's my story

[excel]

Hello to everyone.

I am new to this forum, and obviously to have found this wonderful forum, I have been in the search for answers in the past few months. I wrote a bit of my story in another thread, but as I do not feel like hijacking someone elses thread decided to just make one simple new one. My story can be a great plot for a movie, when it gets to its end.

Back in 2002 I had met this girl, while we were still at high school, used to talk and argue a lot with her. She married, I left the country, but during this time we kept sending each other emails like once a month or something so we kept our friendship alive. A few years later, she wrote to me that she is getting divorced, because of a cheating husband, and we talked a lot about it and I helped her to get through that period.

As a psychologist, she helped me move on from 2 horrible relationships and was something like my personal adviser. Would always listen to my story and then give me an advise on what to do. Then a few years later at around 2009 we found each other on skype, and started spending nights and nights talking, getting to know each other a lot more. In around 2011 she told me she thinks of us as soulmates, cause during those years, we have had our fights, tried to 'get rid' of each other and never succeeded. We turned out to be extremely similar in characters, goals in life, achievements and so many much more things.

The thing is at that point she entered in a relationship with someone that she met. I was so happy for her, cause she really deserved to have someone next to her. She had always shared her life with me, and seemed like this guy did not get her much, as she is the type of philosophical person, a person that loves romantic movies, stuff that I enjoy as well and we could discuss such topics for hours. For some reason she decided to stick around with him, but 5 months ago, I started to have feelings for her, and as I have always been open with her as she was my best friend, as I was hers, I told her right away.

Since then things started getting complicated. The thing is I couldn't see her as only my best friend anymore, I wanted more. And to make things worse, she told me that she had the same feelings for me 2 years ago, and that she had tried to show me all that, and why didn't I do anything. It's ironic how people assume you know they like you, when in fact you have no idea.

Followed a lot of texting, phone talking, lots of tears shed from her side, telling me I had no right to make her feel like that, that she feels unfaithful to have even thought of another man while in a relationship. Things settled after that, we tried talking like before but it just wasn't the same anymore. With all cards down, all conversations lead to flirting, to sweet talks, to her admitting she can be only my friend for now and we were in a some sort of a magic circle.

One day I decided to end everything, as I couldn't handle being the reason for her sadness. Told her that if she is available one day to look up for me, cause I couldn't be her friend only and that this was a point of no return. Sounds like a good plan, at least to me, if it was doable, as she started contacting me once a week to make sure that I was ok, to describe me as her sweetheart, her moon , her everything. She would tell me that if she could love me freely she would show me love like I had never know before.

Things stood like this for a while now, we are still trying to cut off all communications but it's not working as in the previous 9 years. I had used LOA to change my financial life and my health life, and I decided to give it a try for my love life as well. So far I had made a gratitude list that I read at night and early in the morning. I try to feel and imagine what our life would be together. I try to be positive most of the time, as I am sort of a 'joker' a person that always makes other laugh.

To be honest have been confused on how to let go. I always have these thoughts that she would decide to let go of me and forget about me, although she has never given me a reason to think so and those r just ugly pictures my mind plays on me. It seems like I always need reassurance like sweet messages, nice words over the phone, or even people like you guys to tell me that it's gonna be ok, for me to believe it.

I would appreciate any advice, that people with more experience in this field have on how to truly let go, how to want and think about someone, but get rid of desire and the fact that their actions affect your mood. Thanks!

[Ginny]

I noticed you asked for answers to this post in the chat box. This is a tough one, such a long relationship to be unrequited... But I think the answers will be as for other questions of this type: believe, let go, and allow. And then if you ask how to do that, typical answers are EFT, meditation and ho'ponopono....

I don't have anything to add to that, but thought I would bump this for you in case anyone else wants to add their thoughts

[lashark]

To get love from others you have to stop needing it. That love you desire. Give it to yourself, get it from within yourself. Then you stop caring whether or not others are giving it to you and THEN it comes. Like crazy.

Dont be scared. And I dont think there is any how-to manual to love yourself but I do know that FOCUS is a huge part of it.

The minute I said to myself. "I dont care about relationships anymore, I just want to have fun" I got one of the hottest guys I have ever met to fall in love with me. In a matter of 2 weeks. With about 5 other guys wanting to date me all around the same time. The thing is though I meant with my entire soul what I said about no longer caring. I dont know about attracting a specific person. Thats a tricky one. Works for some not everyone. But this is about you and YOUR love life. Not anyone elses. Who cares if its not this girl that shows up. Serioulsy.

[excel]

Thanks you for taking your time to read and respond. Indeed I have been telling this myself that if I truly believe I want to be just happy, who cares if it's gonna be her or anyone else. The bottom line will be 'I will be happy' right. And it gets harder with each day especially with us communicating once a week. We talked last night, but I am quite dissatisfied with the short sentences and we ended up getting into a fight.

I am getting blamed, for blaming, when I have never ever said anything of that matter. It's like every word I say is looked under a microscope and some sort of a hidden meaning is found.

The thing is in order to move on or forget (at least in my previous experience) I had to be 100% convinced that the woman wasn't what I was looking for. But when you meet a soulmate is quite hard to do that. She told me last night, you are ready to let go, you gave up on me, you are impatient which messes up with my feelings even more.

If it was a straight rejection I would have had no problems, but when u get messages out of the blue like how r u sweetheart, or how r u dear soulmate, these really throw me off. The assumption I have in my mind, is I am being kept a hand apart so I am there when the right time comes. The other thing which I feel is too cruel to even imagine, is being used to fulfill an emptiness.

[Free bird]

Your case is indeed complicated.........but buddy wat i really feel is its time you take a stand. I'l tell you one thing from my experience.  I was seeing this girl for an yr and we were serious abt each other. But she isn't ready to take a stand for us and she decided to move on from me with a guy which her parents have chosen for her. Although she has completely said no to me she still uses words like 'bachcha', guchi go n all.

It made difficult only for me to move on. I am completely new to LOA but i understood one thing that u have to let go for that my dear friend i told her one thing she cannot sail in 2 boats. If she really wants me she has to take a stand. She cannot make me hang on and at the same time move on herself. The other side to it is, yes i do want her back bt for tht i have to let her go. First i have to take a stand for myself and tht my friend is wat i feel u should do

[excel]

Your case is indeed complicated.........but buddy wat i really feel is its time you take a stand. I'l tell you one thing from my experience.  I was seeing this girl for an yr and we were serious abt each other. But she isn't ready to take a stand for us and she decided to move on from me with a guy which her parents have chosen for her. Although she has completely said no to me she still uses words like 'bachcha', guchi go n all.

It made difficult only for me to move on. I am completely new to LOA but i understood one thing that u have to let go for that my dear friend i told her one thing she cannot sail in 2 boats. If she really wants me she has to take a stand. She cannot make me hang on and at the same time move on herself. The other side to it is, yes i do want her back bt for tht i have to let her go. First i have to take a stand for myself and tht my friend is wat i feel u should do

I completely understand you, it's a very similar situation. This is why I have been trying to distance myself and go back to my old life, while expressing gratitude for what's about to come, and trying to focus entirely on my work and friends. Thanks for sharing your story. Everything happens for a reason, perhaps we all need to learn something and it's a necessary experience for the future.

The only thing that makes me sad is that she says I've let go of our friendship, while this is completely untrue, and sounds like someone needs reassurance that I haven't and that happens when I start defending myself.

I guess when you take a stand and decide to let go in order to receive you should expect to get blamed as you both leave out of your comfort zone. I gotta admit until 3 days ago, I felt for the most part sad and doubtful. However I have felt great since then, somehow the belief showed up in me and it felt real. I imagined a life without her and it felt fine not like before 'unthinkable'. I combined it with something from the bible post here, that says whenever you have negative thoughts to just imagine they miss you and tell you that they want to go back to you.

I read in a book that this practice works in all spheres and it becomes like a healthy reflex, starting to feel sad -> good pictures or scenes pop up in your mind. I am grateful for that, so many new techniques that I have learned here and in a few books, that if I didn't have this situation, I'd have never explored.

[beautifulmesss12sc]

Excel .. if she is what you want .. just feel her /// imagine lying in her arms and how that wld make you feel .. GREAT right? .. thats all it is ... for me anyway .. of course i made it complicated .. but now i am jst feeling it ... not trying to control or over think it all the time any more

LOL... its like a light bulb went off in my head .. like dang  thats easy

[jtut21]

Hi excel,

That is some story! You are doing a great job with the actions that you are talking with visualizing, expressing gratitude and trying to be in a good mood through humor. Realize however that the LOA does not responds so much to your actions as it does your vibration. The vibration it is responding to is your feelings. When visualizing perhaps be more general and make sure that when reading your gratitude statements that they provoke emotion. You can create emotion in your statements by adding phrases such as "I am truly blessed for the exhilarating relationships I enjoy." Add words that describe a certain emotion. When visualizing create as much detail as possible using all of your senses. Feel a hug or kiss from your partner, hear her say something to you, see her beautiful face, taste the lipstick from her lips, smell her perfume. Having all of this detail will have greater cause in provoking emotion. Keep up the good work.

To your happiness,

Josh
Get Your Ex Back www.romance-beacon.com

[excel]

Thanks for the wonderful suggestions. I shall include more details in my visualizations as you say, and perhaps I will be able to let go even more. After all I am not reinventing the wheel .

I however have a question. I see some people talk about to have that list of the things you are grateful in advance concerning you love (the things you will be doing together etc). In the same time I see people that suggest to completely let go and go days, weeks months without thinking about that desired person. While I know this is not exact science I was just wondering which approach is right.

[JustForToday]

excel, i feel with you and your story and can imagine how hard it is.
i think that youre still very much attched to her, you need her and her love. you cant stand it to get short messages from her or not hearing that she loves you.
you need love from outside. i know this very well, believe me. the point is though, that you first need to be happy on your own and give yourself the love you need.
its hard in the beginning to really understand that. it was sooo hard for me, cause i have never learned to love me  fact is, love will only find you when youre ready to be happy alone and on your own.
i am right now there that its still hard sometimes to realize that its ONLY ME who can fill up this big dark hole in me, but i am going there. more and more.
and so can you. get independent. you dont need anyone to be happy or to live.
make yourself happy now. more happiness will follow automatically, believe me.
love will come when you let go the need of it.
you asked for advice on what applying now.....
i think its the best to "forget" any efforts now, related to her i mean. just visualize your happiness in life, your independance, your ability to love yourself and be free from any needs to get some love from the outside. just concentrate on this.
a gratitude list is very helpful and affirmations for you--- i am happiness, i am love, i love me and so on.
once you feel detached, happy and independant, you can start to do some manifestations techniques, especially for her.
you wish is heard by the universe, so there is not really a need to "try" something to make it work, look first after yourself excel 

sending you love and patience!

[excel]

Will do that thanks. I guess I thought after living for over 8-9 years on my own I had it all figure out, as I had moved out when I turned 18 from our house. To be honest I was in the opposite end of the table before. I didn't want ANY relationship ever, but this isn't the right approach either. I will work on this I believe I understand it and will manage to get it right eventually.

Has anyone thought about, what the other side needs to learn? Is it me, or sometime the person we want will not join us, unless they figure all this out on their own as well. After all LOA works for them as well. Just a thought.

P.S I received a random message today, but I did not reply. I feel that I have to make my point clear, but I have to admit it was tough not to.

P.S#2 Not replying lead, to her coming online on the next day, looking for me, and to be honest we had one of the best talk and laughs like from months. Her attitude seems lovely again. I refuse to over-analyze for now and I will just leave it as what it was a wonderful experience.

[excel]

Well after talking for a while to crazysoul, I sent that final message and 'got lost'. I might not be the strongest minded person, but I am very obedient when it comes to following guides, and so I will.

I told her that this is hurting both of us, and that I am getting out of the picture. When she finds me in her heart as 'the one' then we can reunite stronger than ever.

I will now focus on the end result, and believe that once again I will receive what I want, as in 27 years, I have always received what I want. Thanks for all suggestions and replies. If anyone has anything to add or share, please feel free to do so.

[JustForToday]

i am sure that was the right thing to do and you said it well to her and polite.
you also left this door open if she had a place for you, that you are willing to reunite.
this time will you both help, her to get clear cause these nice and sweets words she kept repeating and on the other hand not wanting to be with you is not fair.
and for you, to get detached and look after yourself. you did good i think 

[excel]

i am sure that was the right thing to do and you said it well to her and polite.
you also left this door open if she had a place for you, that you are willing to reunite.
this time will you both help, her to get clear cause these nice and sweets words she kept repeating and on the other hand not wanting to be with you is not fair.
and for you, to get detached and look after yourself. you did good i think 

I think so too, only that I had to say it again today, as she came online, like she did not receive anything. I was polite again, but she felt insulted I guess that I did not want her friendship. She left somewhat angry told me, to think again. I however replied 'there's nothing to think about'. I believe this is the right approach for me, because with on going communication, I cannot find peace.

What I did however, breaks my heart literally, but I am used to take the bull by the horns . Not really sure what happens from this point on, as she sounded well 'thru' with me.