Help and advice wanted for a newbie. should i stick or should i move on?

[nighthog_90]

Hi everyone, this is my first ever post and hopefully it'll be my last depressing post. And sorry it's a bit long.
I was first introduced to the loa two years ago when i came across a copy of 'the secret' dvd in my local second hand shop, after giving it a go for a month i wasnt happy with the results so i gave up, this was until 6 months ago when i got in touch with with a girl i had known in college.
For the two years i was in college me and this girl never really talked and after college we never got in touch, but six months ago, for some bizarre reason i felt that i had to get back in touch with her.
Shortly before this i was going through a rough patch of depression and loneliness in university, so i started to use loa techniques from 'the secret' to try to improve my life, which seemed to work.
Anyway, me and this girl talked every other day and we were getting on fine, after a fortnight we started talking more, and eventually (and still today) we now talk everyday and have gotten to know each other so well. She trusts me so much that we can talk about anything, and any problems she has she would rather (and in some cases im the only person she can) talk to me than any of her friends she has known for the whole of her life.
Months later I have asked her out on dates but she has always changed the subject, although this seems like she just wants to be friends, the way in which she talks to me suggests that she does like me.
I tried using the loa to strengthen our relationship and everything was going fine, until she met a guy she really liked. To cut a long story shor this guy treats her like dirt, he has lied and made excuses to avoid seeing her, he has said he just wants to be friends for now and ignored her for a week when she wouldnt sleep with him, she wont think anything bad about him she thinks its her, and basically everytime he snaps his fingers she'll run to him. I have tried thinking positive and believing that i will meet a partner that has exactly the same personality, looks and likes/dislikes that she has, but i find it very hard to remove the thoughts i get of them together. I also have obsessive compulsive disorder, and for anyone that suffers from it will know that it is very easy to think negative things, and these thoughts will often stay in your head and thoughts from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall sleep.
As it's the start of a new year i would like all of your advice, should i start afresh and try to attract a perfect partner (use a vision board etc..) or should i stick with this girl and change/mould the way that i use the law of attraction, and believe that she will realise how much she means to me and that we both want the same thing (it is very strange how similar our personalities and likes/dislikes are and i do treat her how she has told me that she wants guys to treat her).
I have browsed this website and the internet, but i get so confused with how i should approach the loa to get the relationship that i want. Some websites say that trying to attract a specific person doesnt work, some say its possible, some say the law of detachment is the only way, but still it's not always clear on whats best. sorry for the rambling but it does get me down and im finding it very hard, ill appreciate any advice you could give! thanks in advance guys

[Vicki Christina]

The law of detachment means not being needy.  You can still desire the specific person.   Take care of you, send loving energy every day, and get on with doing things for YOU!

Also, the book, Ask and It Is Given gives good examples of desire without being needy.

[57angel]

On the question should you stick or should you move on, only YOU and YOU can answer that. Whatever the answer to that question, the most honest answer from your heart, then get rid the feeling of being needy to her. Start counting your blessings and being grateful as well for all the things that you want to have. Start spoiling yourself and exude love and happiness to everyone around you.Focus on yourself and you will see. Using LOA tools really changed my life for a better and happier me. Keep posting here, lots of those who are here have good thoughts to share. I agree with the Ask and It Is Given book, I am not done reading it yet but I can really say, its an excellent book:-) Good luck, best of LOA to you!

[Berylac]

Hi,

I was in the same situation like you. Here's my story, if you are interested.

I known a girl who was my class mate when I was 11 years old. We didn't really talk or chat a lot. I never got in touch with this girl. That time, I didn't really interested in her because I understand, things will change as I move on. When I reached to 13 years old, I started getting interested in her because there's some sort of feelings for her which I can't explain. I didn't really go and talk to her at this stage. I was shy and probably knowing that it this kind of feelings would be over after a couple of months. I am 15 years old now, last 3 months, I started talking to her regarding about starting a class reunion. That's how we finally talked together, get together. However, it's getting dead now. I am still working on it to be with her. =)

Anyway, let's talk about your thread.

Anyway, me and this girl talked every other day and we were getting on fine, after a fortnight we started talking more, and eventually (and still today) we now talk everyday and have gotten to know each other so well. She trusts me so much that we can talk about anything, and any problems she has she would rather (and in some cases im the only person she can) talk to me than any of her friends she has known for the whole of her life.

This is great! I mean, how I wished I could reach this stage for my story. Well, maybe not.

Months later I have asked her out on dates but she has always changed the subject, although this seems like she just wants to be friends, the way in which she talks to me suggests that she does like me.

You have asked her out on dates, but she has always changed the subject. The "always" tells me that you have been asking her for dates pretty much; many times. You know that she doesn't want to dates, but she is kind enough not to be so direct, so she hinted you to stop asking it by changing the subject. You have studied Law of Attraction for 2 years, didn't you know that "Desperation" for something is an action of emitting negative frequency ? Desperation is a very, very strong and destructive vibration, worse than fear, worse than all any kinds of negativity emotions. Desperation is such a strong force that it can actually destroy your entire desire totally.

You may claim you did not desperate for her. However, asking again and again is actually the offspring of Desperation Energy.

You can feel and care about her. That's why you can feel she likes you.

I tried using the loa to strengthen our relationship and everything was going fine, until she met a guy she really liked.

You have tried to use Law of Attraction to strengthen your relationship ?! Okay. I would give a further explanation and understanding after you have told me how you have strengthened your relationship through the use of Law of Attraction. I have an instinct that you have used it wrongly.

To cut a long story shor this guy treats her like dirt, he has lied and made excuses to avoid seeing her, he has said he just wants to be friends for now and ignored her for a week when she wouldnt sleep with him, she wont think anything bad about him she thinks its her, and basically everytime he snaps his fingers she'll run to him. I have tried thinking positive and believing that i will meet a partner that has exactly the same personality, looks and likes/dislikes that she has, but i find it very hard to remove the thoughts i get of them together.

Now, you know that this guy is treating her like dirt, lied and make excuses in your own perception. Now, I will teach you a method called " Inverse Assumptions " that was taught by UpLOAding.

I will give you the affirmations.

" (Your Partner Name) is interested in me. (Your Partner Name) was attracted by a person who treats her like dirt, and not interested in her. (Your Partner Name) needs me, she needs me to help her to avoid such negative situations and free her from him to me. "

As it's the start of a new year i would like all of your advice, should i start afresh and try to attract a perfect partner (use a vision board etc..) or should i stick with this girl and change/mould the way that i use the law of attraction, and believe that she will realise how much she means to me and that we both want the same thing (it is very strange how similar our personalities and likes/dislikes are and i do treat her how she has told me that she wants guys to treat her).

Should you start afresh and attract a perfect partner or you should stick with this girl of yours ?

I am sorry, I cannot choose for you. You have to choose it yourself.

1. Ask yourself, which options suit you the best ?
2. Ask yourself, do you want to let go and find another one ?
3. Do you want to stick with her and believes the faith of reunion ?

If I were you and if I dragged my story above to here, I will never give up on the person I like. I will go for her because she is unique to me.

I have browsed this website and the internet, but i get so confused with how i should approach the loa to get the relationship that i want. Some websites say that trying to attract a specific person doesnt work, some say its possible, some say the law of detachment is the only way, but still it's not always clear on whats best. sorry for the rambling but it does get me down and im finding it very hard, ill appreciate any advice you could give! thanks in advance guys

No worries. You are in the same state as mine before.

" When basically Law of Attraction can attract anything, it can attract ANYTHING. "

The problem why they said that attracting a specific person is impossible because they have Law of Attraction working on them too. If you said Yes, but your partner said No. It doesn't work. This is not like attracting money. If you said Yes, does money has the brains to say No? The only thing is to align with you and her. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming, we say " Common Ground " aka " Rapport ". When a relationship was created, the rapport was also created. Find the rapport and align with you and her.

Nevertheless, you are just like me. The only differences are, mine pursue partner doesn't has a boyfriend(Well, I don't know. But I assumed she doesn't has one.) and I have not started telling her my feelings. We are about on the same boat, on the same river.

This is my advice. Relax first. Do something what you ought to do. Don't give up on her if you really wants to be with her.

Hope this helps,

Regards,
Berylac

 

[nighthog_90]

thanks Vicki and thanks 57angel for the replies, that is a book i am definitely going to check out . And thanks Berylac for taking your time to read through my thread and offer any bit of help and advice you could it is appreciated and clears alot of problems/questions up for me .
Im sorry i should have been a bit clearer with a few things, i shouldnt have really used the word 'always', i have only asker her out twice really on a date, but i do always ask her if she wants to go places (mostly when shes down) just to spend time with her and take her mind of things. Also, i have known about the loa for two years but ive only just started studying it in more depth over the last month or so, i am still a newbie and im not to sure what im doing yet, but it'll come
You are all right i know only i can make this decision and i dont think i will give up on her, we only live once and she is also unique to me, i dont want to regret just giving up.
And thanks for your story Berylac, i wish you all the best and hope youll keep us all updated and how things are going. I wish there was some advice i could give you back, I know you probably know this but if you feel that you have problems telling her directly how you feel about her, a good way to start is to let her know that you are always there for her if she ever needs anyone to talk to. But thanks again guys for the replies!