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Author Topic: Heavy heart :(  (Read 3463 times)

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Offline ky22

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Heavy heart :(
« on: June 04, 2012, 03:53:55 PM »
Hello

I thought i was being so strong until yesterday and today.  For a long time I have a heavy heart since the break up, separation in March and now 10 days ago, the love of my life ceased all contact with me.  Living by myself for the first time ever, and lonliness can eat at me. 

I really do miss him.  I have let go because i have no control for the situation but farout this is hard.  I miss the contact and he said he cares alot about me and wants to make sure I am ok. Now he ceases all contact?  I dont know what to do, i set my intentions, wishes, prayers, affirmations, visuals and still i feel empty but yet i feel this belief about us.  Maybe i am just being impatient argh?

Offline 57angel

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Re: Heavy heart :(
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2012, 06:29:38 AM »
The No Contact rule is necessary to give space to yourself to gain back all the energy that you had spent during the breakup. The NC will give yourself the time to heal all wounds inflicted in words and in actions, and to have enough time for you to appreciate and love yourself more. He chose not to keep in touch with you, use that to work inwards, reassess what are the qualities that you need to delete and to add. Use this time to love yourself a lot more, by spending time with the people you love and those who love you, do everything that will make you happy :) For all you know, this will be your best time ever :)

Offline jtut21

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Re: Heavy heart :(
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2012, 09:58:13 AM »
It is natural to feel the way you do after facing a breakup and then a drastic change of having no contact can place you in a difficult position. However, now is the best chance you have at getting your ex back! He is considering that you will continue to sulk and be in despair by the circumstances of the relationship. By proving him right in this situation it places you at a terrible disadvantage for reconciliation in the relationship. Desperation is very unattractive and can make any attempt at getting back together nearly impossible. Working with the idea that people always want what they can't have is going to have a profound effect on the results you can experience in a short time. Now is the best time to get out into the world with some friends and/or making new friends, meeting new people and confidently handling the no contact. Avoid trying to call him, text, email, or facebook message him because that can come across as desperate. Rather, begin to move on from the breakup by getting into things you enjoy in life and begin working on yourself. Taking these actions opens yourself up to the aide of the Universe to align the relationship you desire. You become even more attractive and build curiosity in your ex. When he gets curious he will be in contact with you and that will be an indication that what you have been doing is working. Once he gets in touch with you again be confident.

To Your Happiness,

Josh
Get Your Ex Back www.romance-beacon.com

Offline ky22

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Re: Heavy heart :(
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2012, 12:26:23 PM »
Thank you for your replies

I think i was just having a bad day and i think its gonna be a  normal case for me.  I am a Piscean and pisces find it really hard when there heart it broken and takes them along time to recover, boy dont i know it.  We were together for one year and half and i loved and enjoyed being with him.  Yes we had our ups and downs but as I see it we were like good friends and sibling too because of the disagreements.  I felt confident that our friendship would grow, until a part of my green eye monster opened up, not much was said on my part but he picked up on it.  So i am learning so much about myself, not to be a needy, desperate, jealous insecure girl.  I am strong and loving and learning confidence but i am an easygoing person too.

Right now he is interested in someone else.  Pretty quick on his part.  Is it rebound not sure?  He did it to his previous ex to me, as he jumped from her to me pretty quickly too.  We are good friends now, she added me on facebook.  She has helped me with kind words.  God i feel so stupid for putting her in a bad light thinking my love was so interested in her, when he reconnected back with her, and he even told me no i am just friends, hence my judging which i no longer do.  I apologised to her aboutthat.  But i feel such a strong connection to him and he knows i am alone up the coast from him and all it seems to matter to him is catching another girl?  When really he needs to sort him self out too.

It doesnt compute with me when I try to comprehend him saying how he cares alot about me and yet he disconnected from me.  He disconnected and at times i feel like sending him a text but I dont.  I reckon he should contact me, because i never wanted to disconnect.  As well what else has been rummaging in my mind is when he has said to me towards the end, how we are not right for each other, it was a mistake from the beginning.  I dont get that, why would that be a mistake when he had strong feelings for me and we became a couple?  He had said something like to deter away from his true feelings like he was denying it.  I dont know and it just made me feel like poo, like um temporary and um not what matches up to his qualities for a companion.  When he was in the beginning excited we had so much in common, and i felt the electric zing zang energy as though we know each other before?  I am in a confused mind state, analysing what he said and trying to figure out Why he has said these things to me?

I believe in us so much.  I just hope, pray we get back together, even to be bestest of friends will be beautiful.

I have taken in your advice and thank you. 

I have been doing things i wanted to do and sometimes i dont know why but i find it hard to make friends.  Although i have made some friends where i am doing meditation and practising surfing but i want to meet more like minded friends too

thankyou
« Last Edit: June 05, 2012, 12:36:39 PM by ky22 »

Offline 57angel

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Re: Heavy heart :(
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2012, 07:34:02 AM »
Ky22, I started my LOA journey with affirmations and gratitude journal and just few days after I started using them, I did start seeing results, very remarkable changes in me :) Start from those little steps, it will surely lead you to where you should be :) Focus in you, you can't change the way he thinks of you, but you can surely change how you feel towards the situation :) Focus in you to make you a better, happier you, even if he is with another girl. Know your worth, that is what is important :) And now that you are on your way to showing yourself how much you love and appreciate yourself, I am so sure that more and more amazing events in your life will just land right in front of you ;) :)

Offline ky22

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Re: Heavy heart :(
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2012, 02:10:23 PM »
Good news, my man reconnected with me again.  I am really happy. 
I prayed to the Universe, Archangels, our guides.

He told me last night, you do need to let me go, you need to stop the ownership because you dont own me.  I said well who does?  He says I dont know, I said No one owns you and I didnt think i was putting ownership on you.

He said to me last night also, You know if you meet someone you should go for it, dont hold onto me.  I said If it happens and it may not.  Also, people cannot shutdown their feelings for a person either.

He just advised me I need to get over the jealousy part.  That is something I am really trying to change and evolve and be better than.

Its so obviously clear we have such a strong connection.  Its just STRONG.

I reckon we could have this check quote out on the bottom - we are so close to having this and i feel this with him

I really do love him so much.  Not sure what else I can do.  But I know he will talk to other women online as he says so and what is the best answer for me.  Do I shrug it off and pretend it doesnt bother me.  Really need help in this department.  As I know Jealousy is based on fear

thank you



« Last Edit: June 07, 2012, 02:11:55 PM by ky22 »

Offline 57angel

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Re: Heavy heart :(
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2012, 10:34:20 AM »
Jealousy is something you need to deal with, and with you being aware that you have that, I can say that it is considered as "case solved" ;) :) When you know that you have that, then now is the time to let go of that, to do something to take that out from your system. I think there are still some experiences from your past that are not completely forgiven yet. Unless, you have truly forgiven the people involved, jealousy continues to haunt you whenever there is something that he can't do, or when there is something he does that will not make you happy. You are now in the right track Ky22 :)

Offline ky22

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Re: Heavy heart :(
« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2012, 12:48:05 PM »
But what tips could you advise to me that I can learn to deal with.  Because if the scenario where my mind can stray to unnecessary thoughts of him with another girl.  What can I do.  I have been told to try and ignore ignore ignore and keep the focus of him with me?

argh

as for jealousy, i really dont know where its come from???????

weird

Offline ky22

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Re: Heavy heart :(
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2012, 05:02:59 PM »
I couldnt sleep last night it was dreadful.

The man I love and adore told me he joined a dating online site and met someone.  Why he would tell me that I have no idea, when he knows full well it would stirr me up. 

So all of last night and today, I think he is with this new girl.

I have been trying my darn hardest to side track those thought  I with positive happy ones.  But yeh I know what i am doing attaching,.

But is there anyone with similar situations and then there exes do come back to them?

I really am trying to grow and move past this.  I think I am nearly there, once i feel i can get answer for my query.  I know i shouldnt care but it just hurts with my visual thougts too that he is intimate with someone else now :S

 

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