Hear my story.....I need all the help that I can get

[judasentinel]

They say that if you have a sad story, which you want reversed, talking about it and sharing it with others brings further negative energy into it and so if you want your desire to come true, it wont because of the negative energy others may have inadvertently put in there.

I dont wish to attract ANY negative vibrations into my life that would hamper my chance to be with her again. I want her to be healthy, wiser and realize what everyone else saw - that I was the ONLY and the BEST thing that ever happened to her in her life. My intention is to find out what it would take to bring her back as my life partner, who is healthy, wholesome, even more beautiful, loving, caring and compassionate for all those who come into contact with her.

Help me with dealing with uncertainty and doubt. I am willing to do whatever it takes. Whatever. Please help me understand how.

[Vicki Christina]

Judasentinel,  I am so sorry for your feelings of pain.   Some people who keep going to abusive relationships and have relationships with unavailable people, like the married ex-boyfriend, are doing it because they have never been in or around healthy relationships.    They fear the real thing.  It sounds like she does not know how to be in a healthy romance.  You can only at this time continue to be someone of character who deserves a good relationship.   That being said you can send her prayers of love and healing.   Work on processing your pain with affirmations, EFT, and gratitude journals.   Keep giving to people who can appreciate you right now to raise your vibration.  Perhaps you have friends in need who could use company or help with a project.  Keep working on you.  Hugs,  VC

[judasentinel]

Thank you, Vicki. The thing is that right now, she is not here to defend herself. And all you guys are hearing and reading is MY side of things. In all honesty, if I sat down and related the events that transpired between us, you might see where I went wrong with her. I have no shame in admitting my follies and shortcomings. I have plenty, just like others.

She is a very good human being, very kind, compassionate, sensitive and loving. Since I have experienced the full beauty of her love for me whenever she showed it to me, I am saddened to not have it anymore. But more than anything else, I want to know HOW I go about having her back with me for all the right reasons. That's where I am at.

I can send her loving vibes but the uncertainty of not knowing what she is doing and who she is being with, etc., is killing me. She has not made any contact with me and so haven't I, since she told me she didn't want to talk to me, over 2 weeks ago. I want to just pick up the phone and call her but I haven't, out of complete respect for her wish.

What I still dont understand is LOA vs. free will. And the delay in manifestation. It also doesn't make sense to me as to how come what we want is already in the non-physical, but it is delayed due to us thinking negative thoughts? I mean, this seems like some kind of a sadistic joke, doesn't it? You want this....here it is, but you cant touch it unless you start feeling good. And WHO converts that which we want, from the non-physical to the physical? Firstly, what I want is not something that is non-existent. I want to REARRANGE what IS in the physical. So there is no creation in the non-physical that needs to happen. All that needs to happen is a change of feeling in HER for me and a realization that we had it real good. There is no physical manifestation of a brand new thing that I require here. I desire a rearrangement of the existing circumstances where she becomes one with her true core and reaches out to me, happy, realizing that she and I were and will be perfect together, and that she is free as a bird with me to do whatever she pleases to do in a healthy way. I desire and intend to have her with me for the good that transcends my existence and touches my kids, my extended family and humanity.

For the gurus of 'win your ex back', should I contact her at all? When sould I do that? Her birthday is next week. Should I call or send a card in the mail? Will making any contact and reaching out to her work in my favor or do I need to let her be and anticipate her call to me? She may be curious that the guy who invested his whole life around her for the last 2 years hasn't contacted her, but if she has numbed herself, she would just shrug her shoulders and go on with her life as if nothing happened. We're dealing with a very strong-willed girl here, a true survivor.

Too much to ask? Possible? Am I off here? Guide me please.

[Vicki Christina]

I desire a rearrangement of the existing circumstances where she becomes one with her true core and reaches out to me, happy, realizing that she and I were and will be perfect together, and that she is free as a bird with me to do whatever she pleases to do in a healthy way. I desire and intend to have her with me for the good that transcends my existence and touches my kids, my extended family and humanity


That is a beautiful affirmation.   I am posting one that I have used.    I do not think it is the non-physical world really that controls energy and vibration.  It is pretty much confirmed through the quantum laws that this can take place here in this world.    Like attracts like.   You can only change her immediately if she wants to change.   You can, however, send out good vibrations and see if she can connect.



http://www.alancohen.com/articles/articles.php


“I accept responsibility for creating my experience of you by way of how I have thought about you. I now wish to change my experience by changing the version of you I am holding in my mind. I now choose to see you as loving, wise, healthy, and kind. I recognize your higher, better, and whole self. I see this situation as working out to everyone’s well being and benefit.”

[judasentinel]

@ Vicki, what you are saying is that she can come back? What needs to happen for that to occur? Do I need to chop off my right arm, and if so, I would gladly do it....but then she wouldnt want to be with an amputee, lol.

I know I am being silly and selfish here, and I DONT want to entertain these thoughts. I have tried meditation, Silva mind techniques, Gerald O'Donnell's remote influencing, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Abraham Hicks, Gregg Braden, Bob Proctor, Joe Vitale, Deepak Chopra, and Anthony Robbins, to name a few. I have delved deep into physics and into spirituality, read most major faiths ad infinitum, but I am unable to find ANY peace and the thoughts keep F#%KING me up.

Someone on here must know what I can do to somehow create a situation where she comes back.

The biggest struggle that I have is that I dont know HOW to do different things:

1. Letting go
2. Create the feelings of her being with me
3. Think positive
4. Recall happy moments - whenever I recall happy moments from my life, I start crying.

I realize the above may be the things to do, but I dont know how. Tried EFT, didnt work. Tried the ho'oponopono (whatever the word is) and nothing seems to be helping.

[Vicki Christina]

Well I am sure other members will have some great new suggestions, but it takes time to get our thoughts settled.  Honor you grief.   My favorite book is Gregg Braden "The Lost Mode of Prayer".   I have read it several times over the years.  It gives me some peaceful moments.