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Poll

what do i do now?  please help

do i call him untill he answers and tell him i am sorry.. i wrote that in a note but he is not replying
3 (5.8%)
I wait for him to contact me .. oh nooo i dont want to wait another 7 months :(
30 (57.7%)
i find a way to locate him in his new place and surprise him?
3 (5.8%)
write him an email..i know he is offended , he had very good intentions of starting again,.. told me he missed me. . i reacted and said: do i know you?.. he just said: forget it.. and left the conversation
16 (30.8%)

Total Members Voted: 52

Author Topic: He came back .One conersation ,i pushed him away. he retracted in silence..help!  (Read 2340 times)

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Offline layla

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Dear Attractors.. good evening

i hope the law is working fully for you today...
well.. mine proved me that the vibration of thought is what reality responds to.
briefly , i am here in need of a sincere advice.
I met the man of my dreams last winter. We were together for 3 months... we travelled together.. we lived in the middle east . we went to London.. we were planning a future... it was a fairytale.. untill i attracted to myself
an horrible breakup in the most idiotic way.. i had wrotten an insignificant text using words that sound like everything they are not. He is a very intense person who idealizes love and the passionate flame of secrecy between two people to such extremes that reality( me) disappointed him badly.
In my heart i never deceived him and i treasure the same kind of intensity .
 He doesnt Know but all this time i have not wanted to even go for coffee with anyone.. and no i dont want a medal !
After his decision to breakup, i was devasted for months. i visualized his call... and his call came..
.then i visualized us togeter again but that didnt come.... untill now, months later....
 he contacted me again and after  he got closer and engaged in an imtimate conversation during which he told me all the things he has missed about us... I, went along for a while..
 then a rush of confused and conflicting emotions caused me to answer coldly in a moment when he was confirming his affection .
I was so silly happy in that moment that what i said didnt express my inner world, so  two words and we were cold strangers....i said: who are you? as if to say i dont really know you to engage in this  talks.. my female ego was still hurt for having being abandoned... he was being positive and not directing attention to the ugly past... hhmmm perhaps he knows the LAW.
 Since then  he has retracted and has wrapped himself  around a cold silence for a week now.
 I am devasted ,... i did it again.. i pushed him away after he had returned !  mY female ego wanted to hear it differently.
 Instead he had used the less travelled path, an unconventional approach... perhaps in the hope that i would understand its hidden intellectual demeanour... .
I wrote a note of apology for my sarcastic tone but silence is all i am getting these days.
His phone is turned off too..and has been for days.
Is it possibole that one wrong word makes him loose all he had for me..?I know he feels disrespected i would like to tell him that i never deceived him.. 
PLEASE,
TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW..? CALL.. OR JUST VISUALIZE THE REUNION ..
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING CHILDREN... i am worried of the time passing.. and cannot relax about time but i know i have to..
i look forward to a sound advice  on how to get the law of attraction to transfor this reality.
I wish you all love and happiness..
sincerely,
Layla
 

Offline Ankur Sancheti

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Laya,

I got the remedy for ur Problme, what you did, infact, 99.99% of People do. Then they look for getting theie ex back.  ;)

What is it?

You become hyper, you just assumed too many things at the same time.

He still has love for you. Now u have to be soft with him, appreciate him for the small-small things he does. Its just a short term transition.

Look, perfect relatioship can be made on the foundation of Mutual respect and Understanding. :-)

Stop being hyper, and say SORRY to him, you always know the best way to do it.  ;)


He is just a saying a SORRY away from you. Enjoy a Wonderful life layla.   :-*

Offline Shikha

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Layla, welcome and thank you  :) for explaining your situation in detail.

i find that your "awareness" is the most interesting thing in your case. it is so very important to be aware of how and what YOU attracted to your life. you very well know where you went wrong. you are aware that when you practiced the law by visualizing, he did come back. you are a wise woman and you admit that your pride came in between when he returned. you also know why your ego stood so tall...you still hadn't forgiven. you understood what you did to him was totally uncalled for, therefore, the apology note.

Now, you can continue visualizing with pure faith. you achieved the desired result before so you will achieve again. OR you can contact him via email, phone, or a personal meeting to explain yourself. here's where YOU have to make a choice. i know that you want to be with him. i say you email him and write all what you'd like him to know. be specific! avoid coming across as a needy person in your message. make sure he understands that you are a strong woman who accepts her responsibility and has an honest intention of working things out between the two of you in the most positive manner.

Layla, trust me when i tell you this. just how you know what choices you have...in a similar way...your heart also knows which choice is the best. listen to your emotions. i think you are a smart woman. you are perfectly aware of all that you need to know. all you need to do is to put faith in what you do know.

i hope i was able to give you some sound advice. if you have questions, concerns please do not hesitate. everyone is here for you :)

good luck and god bless :-*
« Last Edit: November 20, 2009, 10:46:26 AM by Shikha »

Offline layla

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Thanks Ankur

greetings from Italy !
sorry to bother you...
but i already said sorry ! The next day i wrote a note, i apologized for my
sarcastic tone, i said.." i was just angry that you can still make me feel this
way and angry that i had missed you all this time".. still no reply and all his
phones are still turned off.
We lived together in the Middle East but im back in Europe.
I wish i knew where he is now... i would go tell him face to face.
I travel easily and all the time and so does he.
Knocking on a closed door too much could build resistance, i am afraid.
I didnt just push him away... i did it when he was getting intimate.
Ooh the male ego.. but you are right.. it needs some honey sweetness.
I might have to improvise myself detective and find out where he is now...:)
All i have is 3 countries, 3 cities and 3 phone numbers...easy  hahahaha !!!
HHMM so you are in India.. what a place !  I went to Delhi many times..
i will have to plan to see the rest.
Thanks again for your kind words.
May you shine with inner joy.

Layla

 

Offline layla

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Hello Shikha

and thank you for your insightful words.
I hope all is well with you and that life is delivering all your wishes..
Yes, you have interpreted the sentiment  !
I do sense  my situation and his emotions,but i am not always able to find the right course of action.
In this moment , i feel that my apology note ( even if written with  a hidden passionate
female spirit that needed decoding) didnt quite explain what i wanted him to know.
It was a brief note but the word angry might be what is keeping him away.
Who wants to deal with a woman who is angry when a man comes back..?
I WROTE:  " i was just angry that you can make me feel this way and angry that i had missed you all this time"
Subtleties dont always work with the opposite sex.
And i know he feels exposed and ridiculed by my action...
i will try to call him again ... meanwhile i am shopping, planning and thinking
as if we are going to spend New Year together !!!
...and from Italy buonasera,

Layla



Offline Galina Shibileva

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Layla,

you are doing great already...if I may just suggest you not to think about what happened, not to bring back the feelings you had when that happened....Now get focused on your present moments and visualize you together, the marriage, the pregnancy, the kids....

You need to send him positive vibes no matter what!

Blessings!

Offline Shikha

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Layla, your welcome :) you are on the right track and the best part is that you know it! keep thinking happy thoughts and i'm sure everything will come together. ciao

god bless


Offline Sneha Kulkarni

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hi layla!!

This is the feeling we all pass through at some point of time.:).

Just take a deep breath and relax, we ourself create so much of turmoil and mess up things:(.
Try out meditation to focus on one thought at a time trust me meditation does work.


sneha

Offline layla

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Good morning Galina, Sneha, Shika and Ankur,

you have been a wonderful help but i feel myself loosing faith this morning..
i know i cannot do that ..
i know i need to believe in the unseen..
some days it is harder than others, .. some days i live in the physical and he is not reachable..
and he doesnt answer or reply, this silence is killing me because a million questions flood my mind.
Is this the end, did he put a stop to all of it, did he even call to reconnect or was it just arrogant intellectual
way to revive intimate memories he felt intitled to..?
what i did not tell you is that perhaps for him i am too forward or aggressive in my outcomes
even thought i am not aggressive at all but that was a word he used few times when i would
go off about something.  It is confusing because even thought he is arab , and the culture would require me to be sweet at all times,he is also many other things..
educated , wordly,successful, i never knew if he was going to see the issue with the eyes of the East or the West.... and in this short revival i am lost in translation.`

I have asked someone to help me locate him because i dont know his new residency address

...i know it is machiavellian.. but i have nothing to loose. I just want to see his eyes and i would know what is there for us..
.
It is not in my style to do this but i just cannot imagine waiting another year for a new hello if it comes at all... time is passing and i want to have his children, i just cannot relax about it. Time is not a priviledge that i have.
Pls forgive my tone this morning but i am feeling low..
i will have a talk with myself too..
and meditate later..

hope your dasy is wonderful
peace and love,

Layla

Offline Galina Shibileva

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Layla,

I don't think it's a good idea that you contact this guy and try to find him... But you should do what your heart says, even if you will regret it afterwards at least you'll feel peace as you did all that you could to arrange it on your way.

Arabic culture is quite particular, I know some "European" women  got married with Arabic men but it is very difficult for them. They did it for love but believe me, the men raised in France all their life, stay with their culture for the whole life. So my friends used to find that great to obey to her husband's culture but after 5 and then 10 years it became a huge burden to bear...

You know better than anyone.

For your situation you should try to let the time pass and try to look for a general soulmate - this is easier to do , as in your visualisations you won't bring back memories but you will create new future...

If you feel down, try to do things that make you happy, it's the best way to think of something else...

Light and love!

Offline Galina Shibileva

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Glass,

this is a very good advice!

Thank you for sharing!

Love and light to you honey!

Offline Shikha

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Layla

i'm sorry that you were feeling low. most of the times we feel like this when someone other than us is controlling our mind and our lives. aggressive or not aggressive...you should be loved for who you are. it's perfectly fine if you are trying to locate him. absolutely nothing machiavellian about it!!! but by using that word you are giving me the notion as if you not sure if it's the right thing to do??? god is too kind to be judging us. we judge ourselves. if this is really what your heart suggests you should do and you trust it beyond any doubt..then only listen to yourself.

hope you feel better.

god bless xxx :-*

P.S. Glass,  i'm super impressed :D you are a sweetheart! thank you for the lovely words xoxo

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