gotta question for you all that i just asked myself

[2thetop]

ah but heres the thing lilly.  unconditional love is unconditional.  there is no conditions.  there is no situation to consider.  unconditional love has no room for those.  you dont know where they stand to love them unconditionally.  you love them no matter what. 

and actually what led me to this question was thinking about why a great deal of people say its easier, or better to try and focus on attracting the relationship and qualities you want in a person vs attracting a specific person.  after thinking about it i understand that now.  i personally think you can do both, i in fact think you cant do the latter without doing the first consciously or subconsciously.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

I agree with 2thetop Lily.......I think you are missing the real feelings of UNCONDITIONAL love. 

[lilly]

ah but heres the thing lilly.  unconditional love is unconditional.  there is no conditions.  there is no situation to consider.  unconditional love has no room for those.  you dont know where they stand to love them unconditionally.  you love them no matter what. 

and actually what led me to this question was thinking about why a great deal of people say its easier, or better to try and focus on attracting the relationship and qualities you want in a person vs attracting a specific person.  after thinking about it i understand that now.  i personally think you can do both, i in fact think you cant do the latter without doing the first consciously or subconsciously.

I agree with you on the concept of unconditional love 2thetop and I reckon we should love people without any condition whatsoever. But I think it is more or less" difficult" to do so depending on the situation ( It's really the difficulty of the process that I'm emphasizing on). I also think it's mostly why some of us struggle to manifest things quickly, because we react emotionally and negatively when things don't go our way in regards to a certain person while it would be easier if we loved them with no condition and without expecting anything. It would certainly supress the tensions and make communications smoother.

As to attracting a specific person vs certain traits.. It is a concept I understand and I also reckon that it would make it faster and easier to attract the relationship we want if we just focused on traits, however I find it hard to sum up someone to "certain traits". I've known the person I'm trying to attract for years now and even though I met other guys during those years, they have never came close to him, even if they had some of his traits ( I also believe we are attracted by the same kinds of person in a sense). There is just more than traits to it, something that I can't quite pinpoint, but which makes every one of us unique and which makes him unique..and if we are all unique somehow it makes it hard for me to imagine replacing him with someone else.
I understand you are trying to attract a specific person into your life as well? I'd love to hear your view on this, have you ever tried to attract a generic person  with her traits after you broke up or have you just tried to attract her specifically the whole time? And if so would you find it hard to give her up for someone similar? ( with the same traits)

[Mr positive]

well i kind of see the traits thing as ego based love and not soul mate based! I would rather just attract my ex back bc i felt and still feel a deep connection i just think the timing is bad! or maybe thats a limiting belief?

[2thetop]

well lilly, ill have a go at your first paragraph then move on to the next.  actually it might cover it all who knows where my ramblings will lead lol.  i have been in a phase, since starting the sedona method, of looking at the root of what i am thinking and feeling.  so when i think of reacting negativily to something my girl is currently doing, i had to stop and explore why i was acting like that.  it took a bit of digging.  i found that those negative thoughts were based in fear.  fear that what she is doing now might keep us apart.  so, i then asked myself.  how do i remove this.  how do i fully let it go so as to open up the gates of love and stop the block of fear? 

let me kinda pause here.  heres something to think about.  why would you not want to allow yourself to think on negative thoughts?  why would you avoid them?  is it because you fear them? is it because your faith can not endure opening up that bag? these are questions i asked myself.  i have found that a great deal of "gurus" explain to feel good, dont think about negative thoughts.  well sorry i dont agree.  in fact, i know they think of negative thoughts.  how?  because you can not defend against anything without first understanding it.  the thing that i realized, is they have enough faith in the positive to endure the trails of exploring the negative to further educate themselves and others.  i also know that most of those "gurus" have found themselves in the deepest, darkest emotional holes ever.  My mom works side by side with some big names in the industry, and the stories I have heard about their pasts are jaw dropping.  If you have read their books, the stories they tell in there dont even scratch the surface.<---thats for you positive.  keep up what youre doing.  inspiring to help others is an amazing path to take.  Never let the past dictate the future.  Your current physical reality becomes the past by the time youre done thinking about it. 

as far as traits vs a specific person.  heres what im playing with.  lets see if i can keep this short.  i doubt it knowing my posts, but hey i enjoy the discussions.   .  so lets explore this.  and ill answer your question at the end lilly, if you wanna skip a head  .  so we have all experienced a break up.  what lead to this?  was everything working well?  was it a good relationsihp?  no it wasnt.  any way you put it there were big enough issues that someone had enough.  so for me, while i do love her no matter what, and would take her back as she was, is that really what would work?  if she made no changes as far as attitude or communication, would the relationship work.  mind you to truly ask yourself this, you need to make sure they are not on a pedistal.  this means being willing to lose them.  which i wont go into here.  but even with my changes if she didnt make a few changes, even one like getting rid of the resentment for what i did, things wouldnt work.  it would lead us to the same cycle, only this time it might be me walking out because now i am on the pedistal and wont allow myself to be treated badly because someone is holding on to what i did.  this is where faith that things are working as they should comes in.  we are bias.  the universe is not. 

so if then we open ourselves to attracting the traits, this includes that "something" that they have, we also are opening ourselves to attracting the new them.  were, if we are stuck on attracting back what we had and who they were, we are actually blocking attracting the new them.  gotta figure, they changed too during all this, in one way or another.  dunno thats just my thoughts.  also i know i dont have to say this, as i have before, but my posts are my humble thoughts and opinions.  my only wish is to hear others views.  i personally feel that through many views you can find the truth of it all.

to answer your question.  i am trying to attract a specific person.  i am also attracting love and a beautiful relationship.  if i am correct in the feeling that this woman is my soul mate, then i have nothing to worry about by opening myself up to love.  i may attract a few others besides her a long the way.  they will do one of two things.  show me how much she is a part of me, or that there is someone else out there and i was too afraid to let myself find her.  for now i have decided to let go of the shore and let the current take me where it will.  my faith allows me to know that in the end she will be by my side and we will reach our destination together.   

[Mr positive]

wow i can totally get what your saying now! That raised my vibration alot! We are nothing but love, all connected, which is why we can attract anything bc we are all made of the same essence!

As for traits, all we need to focus on is love and become more in tune with are true essence, we can never go wrong! Faith is all we got, there is no other way, if you do it all yourself it will seem like alot of wasted energy and we can not enjoy what we get bc of all the hard work! I guess i need to take a step back and decide what i really want! I never sat down and thought about this before, i been just on a rollercoaster ride with mostly ups andvery little downs! Hmmm something for me to think about!

[2thetop]

Definitely mr positive.  we are all love.  and think about this lil tid bit.  they also have fear about the past coming back up.  so there is a bit of resistance.  were their resistance for a new positive a loving relationship is not there.  so then by attracting a new positive loving relationship for yourself, having faith that the universe knows your desire for this person, you are opening yourself another door way to energy connected to them. 

[Mr positive]

wow so true! Never thought about it that way, i need to let it all soak in lol!

[lilly]

well lilly, ill have a go at your first paragraph then move on to the next.  actually it might cover it all who knows where my ramblings will lead lol.  i have been in a phase, since starting the sedona method, of looking at the root of what i am thinking and feeling.  so when i think of reacting negativily to something my girl is currently doing, i had to stop and explore why i was acting like that.  it took a bit of digging.  i found that those negative thoughts were based in fear.  fear that what she is doing now might keep us apart.  so, i then asked myself.  how do i remove this.  how do i fully let it go so as to open up the gates of love and stop the block of fear? 

let me kinda pause here.  heres something to think about.  why would you not want to allow yourself to think on negative thoughts?  why would you avoid them?  is it because you fear them? is it because your faith can not endure opening up that bag? these are questions i asked myself.  i have found that a great deal of "gurus" explain to feel good, dont think about negative thoughts.  well sorry i dont agree.  in fact, i know they think of negative thoughts.  how?  because you can not defend against anything without first understanding it.  the thing that i realized, is they have enough faith in the positive to endure the trails of exploring the negative to further educate themselves and others.  i also know that most of those "gurus" have found themselves in the deepest, darkest emotional holes ever.  My mom works side by side with some big names in the industry, and the stories I have heard about their pasts are jaw dropping.  If you have read their books, the stories they tell in there dont even scratch the surface.<---thats for you positive.  keep up what youre doing.  inspiring to help others is an amazing path to take.  Never let the past dictate the future.  Your current physical reality becomes the past by the time youre done thinking about it. 

as far as traits vs a specific person.  heres what im playing with.  lets see if i can keep this short.  i doubt it knowing my posts, but hey i enjoy the discussions.   .  so lets explore this.  and ill answer your question at the end lilly, if you wanna skip a head  .  so we have all experienced a break up.  what lead to this?  was everything working well?  was it a good relationsihp?  no it wasnt.  any way you put it there were big enough issues that someone had enough.  so for me, while i do love her no matter what, and would take her back as she was, is that really what would work?  if she made no changes as far as attitude or communication, would the relationship work.  mind you to truly ask yourself this, you need to make sure they are not on a pedistal.  this means being willing to lose them.  which i wont go into here.  but even with my changes if she didnt make a few changes, even one like getting rid of the resentment for what i did, things wouldnt work.  it would lead us to the same cycle, only this time it might be me walking out because now i am on the pedistal and wont allow myself to be treated badly because someone is holding on to what i did.  this is where faith that things are working as they should comes in.  we are bias.  the universe is not. 

so if then we open ourselves to attracting the traits, this includes that "something" that they have, we also are opening ourselves to attracting the new them.  were, if we are stuck on attracting back what we had and who they were, we are actually blocking attracting the new them.  gotta figure, they changed too during all this, in one way or another.  dunno thats just my thoughts.  also i know i dont have to say this, as i have before, but my posts are my humble thoughts and opinions.  my only wish is to hear others views.  i personally feel that through many views you can find the truth of it all.

to answer your question.  i am trying to attract a specific person.  i am also attracting love and a beautiful relationship.  if i am correct in the feeling that this woman is my soul mate, then i have nothing to worry about by opening myself up to love.  i may attract a few others besides her a long the way.  they will do one of two things.  show me how much she is a part of me, or that there is someone else out there and i was too afraid to let myself find her.  for now i have decided to let go of the shore and let the current take me where it will.  my faith allows me to know that in the end she will be by my side and we will reach our destination together.

That's also what I try to do now..everytime the person I want to attract does something that makes me react in a negative way I try to take a minute to get some hindsight and analyse the situation before I act on it. And most of the time, I noticed that when I react in a cool/indifferent way and not emotionally and negatively, he acts in the way I expect/hope him to and there has been a hundred times like that when with hindsight i told myself i was glad i calmed down. The reason is fear I agree with you, I'd say in my case, fear because sometimes what he says or does doesn't reflect what I want to manifest..but I'm not allowing things to manifest  by reacting negatively.

Regarding the traits vs specific person..yes indeed, the thing is that as much as we want that certain person in our life we don't want the old relationship back.
But I'll say this..the thing that attracted us to that person in the first place is still there, it evolved into a relationship..and as we both changed for whatever reason or acted negatively the relationship ended..it is interesting and necessary to analyse the reasons behind the failure in order to manifest a better relationship and with that person.

When I attracted that certain person into my life, i focused on specific traits at that time, because I had no strong attachements to anyone at that moment so that was easy.
When I met him I felt a strong connection.. and honestly how often do you feel that or fall in love, perhaps once or twice, some people never even experience it. So in my mind I think it is worth it to try and manifest the relationship we expect to have with that person.

[2thetop]

ya i agree with what you are saying lilly.  when i think about my situation i noticed something interesting.  both of us started to change.  whats funny, is we both were changing into the people that not only we wanted to be, but the people the other person wanted to be with.  the funny part about that is we were both stuck in the past and had resentment for actions in the past.  i think because we both also had a few negative things come up through changing, we also wanted the relationship we had the first couple of years.  focusing on what we were in the past instead of recognizing what we had and where we were going, also got us stuck on the mistakes we made in the past.
i think that something that actracts us to a specific person is actually their higher self.  i think that connection is never lost.  dont think im not saying you cant attract a specific person.  i believe you can with out a doubt.  i know me and my love with be together.  i just think that getting stuck wanting to have what we had is working backwards instead of forwards.  change is a constant.  you cant attract what you had.  you can attract something new.  either a better relationship or a worse one.  with them or with out them.  its all up to us.  i have noticed that every success story here, people let go, had unconditional love, and the person they were attracting not only came back, but the relationship was a lot better then before.  this leads me to think that, not only is the attractor wanting a better relationship, so is the attracted.  thus lining up vibrationally.  take out the attachment, like it was before you met the person, and that is the basics of the initial attraction.  yes you can take it deeper.  if you believe in soul mates, then your souls were matched and pulled together through time. 
either way the way i see it is by attracting what you see in your mind as the person you want ,you could be attracting something that doesnt exist.  i say that because of teh above. they changed from this just like we changed from this.  so i figure.  take it to the basics.  to the root.  you know that you both want a beautiful relationship.  you know that in their heart, they want that with you.  you know this because love doesnt just go poof. 
dunno ill stop there.  kinda trippin on it as i go a long.  thinking about what ive been thinking about while im typing about it is leading to long posts lol sry.