I think detachment is when you don't think that person is essential for your happiness.
When you are happy with and by yourself. When being with that person is not the most important thing but just one of the things. When being with that person presents just a cherry on the top.
When you are not obsessed with being with that person. You are happy on your own.
Whenever you think of that person it makes you smile. It only brings out the positive feelings in you.
You NEVER feel any negative emotions..Why? Cause you're already happy on your own.
You do love that person tho. And that love makes you happy. When you think about that person..you're as happy as you already are.
Confusing right? Basically you just need to be happy on your own. You wish to be be with that person but you don't NEED that person. You think to yourself 'oh i'm already so happy..it'd be so nice if i were with that person..'
see this sentence? IT WOULD BE NICE..it's not I NEED TO BE with that person, I will be sad IF I AM NOT WITH THAT PERSON..
Your happiness does not depend on that person, your happiness can only increase because of that person. But if it doesn't..you're already so happy and content that it wouldn't make a big deal.
The problem with us people in love is that we let that other person take control of our lives and our emotions. We think we need them for our happiness. We become so obssesed with our love for them that it brings out the negative emotions instead of the positive. That's why we need to accept our feelings for them as something beautiful, amazing and something that makes us happy regardless of the OUTCOME.
And that's how we actually achieve their love..by being nonchalant. By detaching ourselves from the outcome.
It's cause our love for them is nothing but just love. No bad feelings, no expectations, no emotions JUST LOVE.
Isn't it obvious the one who gives out REAL LOVE/100% love and nothing but that LOVE to someone is the one who's going to be with them?
Oh and you're completely confident that you're going to be with that person. You will be and that's it.
You're looking forward to when you two will be together.. You're 100% with no doubts that you and that person will be together. As I said you only feel positive feelings regarding that person..You're confident you will be with that person but IF BY ANY CHANCE it does not come true..'oh okay' that's how you feel about it.
So no detachment is NOT giving up. Giving up brings negative emotions. And negative emotions don't bring anything good.