Getting ex back vs. Not sure if you want it

[lee.see]

Okay so I had no idea what to write for a title, but I seriously need some kind of outside perspective. It's gonna be long, I'm sorry. I'll try cut it down to where it's almost bullet points??

Met my ex last year in April and we hit it off really well, dating, got on well with his friends, went away on weekends together etc.. all lovely. Went on for 3 months which was great then he started acting weird. He started distancing himself, not calling, rarely seeing me, would never tell me what's going on. When that started, over time I could feel the fear inside me stirring and as the weeks went by my paranoia and over-analytical mind became a lure for everything negative. I'd picture him cheating, seeing other girls, all horrible things but worst of all I pictured me deserving it.

I was traveling to Europe with my family. I was depressed when we left, but ironically in Europe I completely got over it! I healed and I lived in the moment. I was happy and content with everything I was seeing, experiencing - it was a blessing!!

Come my return from the amazing lands I had just been dazzled by, I was ECSTATIC!! I was free, happy, everything I always wanted to feel like. I got SO many compliments from strangers saying how vibrant I was and how great I looked. I thought it was fantastic, I'd never had that much attention in my life! It wasn't till later on I had realized, the entire time I had been using the LOA!!!! I felt miserable, I saw my ex with other women - LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!?! He wanted to be single again and be with other women. I went to Europe and found my happiness - AND WHAT HAPPENED?!!?!? I found me, happy, bubbly, loving me! And everyone saw that as well!!!!!

Now here's the juicy part, along with all the attention I was getting from males (oh la la!) my ex decided he'd be awesome and get in contact again. I made the mistake of seeing him again. I decided to be straight up immediately and told him that we both need to sort our stuff out so it's best if we stay out of contact for a few months. Which actually hurt when he said yeah he understands and agrees. Come two months, out of the blue I get a txt from him, yup okay! I answered but as he tried to lead the conversation on I didn't carry it on. Two weeks later I get another txt asking how I am, wtf?

So from then on, he kept txting everyday then wanting to see me, which I wouldn't. Then it carried on more and then I finally saw him again and he told me he was sorry and that he missed me and wanted to prove himself to me etc. All very nice things, this time I didn't want to hear it so I pushed him away... and this has been the game for the last 3 more months!!! He says he wants to be with me again but then his actions aren’t showing it. Even with the LOA, should things really be this hard?

If the universe gives you everything you want, how does it handle it when your changing your mind every 10 minutes? Yes I would love to be with him again but not like this, not in this state. And when you're on your path to improving YOU, and your happy and you're finding that wonderful place again. What do you do when they come back out of the blue, out of nowhere and start up again. What then? That’s not fair! And also, if you’re struggling on improving yourself and he’s not doing it either, what then? Are you doomed to be this way forever, stuck together but not together? It’s exhausting!

P.S I'm reaaally sorry about how long this post is.

[Galia]

Hello Lee... be very welcome here!

Your post is very inspiring :-) and it's a success story of getting an ex back!!!! This is something many people here would like to have in their life somehow...  :-)

CONGRATULATIONS!

You did of your life all every person should do to receive good stuff. You lived for you and that lead you to happiness and gratitude!


Amazing!

Good job, girl!!

Now I'll tell you something - the Universe has the perfect soulmate for you, and you're on your way of receiving this man, but it may not be your ex...
Of what you say, he is not on the same vibrational level as you are - he behaves like a needy person and he NEEDS you to be happy, because he can't be happy by himself.

I personally would avoid having a romantic relationship with this person. You both developped in different ways, differently in many areas of life, so he is not looking for the same as you now... You evoluated differently.

You turned the page, you became a new person and took yourself so up and up in personal developement so why bother with needy people that will bring you down?

He came back to you because you have something to give - good vibes, good energy level, so according to me, continue this way and please, receive love but ask for THE perfect guy, not any guy, but THE ONE the Universe is keeping for you!

When the guy appears, that will happen naturally, you'll see you wont be bother with questions and queries, you'll know that he is the one!

See this here:    http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/law-of-attraction-in-action/relationship/how-to-attract-a-perfect-relationship-using-law-of-attraction/

Love and peace!

[lee.see]

Hi Galia

Thanks so much for replying! Wow I never really looked at it as a success story, what a messed up success!! haha.

While it did lead me to happiness and gratitude, I still plummeted back down when my ex came back into the picture. Why is that? Not strong enough or too young maybe? I'm imagining me being that happy vibrant person again (and woah it helps!). But I have little moments, and I'm pretty sure everyone will have these, and those moments are:

When you're feeling great, moving on, convinced your fine (and you are) - up creeps the negative little fear. Questions start spinning 'But if he said all those things to me, why isn't he showing it?', 'He lied, he doesn't even want me!', 'Why was I so stupid!?' etc. And plummmmmmet you go again! After all your excellent work of maintaining that happy state. So in saying that, what can you actually do?

It's not my ex doing anything, it's all me!!! So what's my prob, why am I not letting it go when I should. And like I said, how would LOA work when your changing your mind all the time! It's like the song 'You're hot then you're cold, you're yes and you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up and you're down. You're wrong when it's right, it's black and it's white, we fight we break up, we kiss we make up'. FULLY needs to be our song

And I sound schitzophrenic! It's like painting with an emotional palette, geez what a masterpiece!

[Galia]

Lee, hi!   

I think what you describe is just a problem of controling your negativity and limiting beliefs. That is the major problem for everybody and very honestly I will tell you that I also have those moments, and everybody does. This is a natural state which needs to be under control. It's about controling your thoughts and so replacing them by positive emotions....

I think there's one book that can help you - it's John Kehoe's "Mindpower in the 21th century"....

But what you did until now is great...we are not perfect - we try to learn and grow everyday from every situation.... Just keep trying to stay positive!You'll see with the time it comes by itself and is easier!

Good luck! 

[lee.see]

Hey thanks for that!

So definitely true. I think I find it more fascinating than anything how human beings have almost pre-set their minds like that. Now it's just a matter of undoing it. But what fun!!!

Cheers to our happiness!