Gay, long-distance relationship??? (oh boy)

[calcium]

Hello! I'm extraordinarily new to this site AND the Law of Attraction, but I really think being in a community that knows more about the Law would be a really good thing! Everyone seems to be overflowing with inspiration! haha

About two months ago, my girlfriend wanted to go on 'break' with me. She never specified whether it was a break-up or for how long, but let me tell you, I took it the worst possible way. I became desperate. I cried. I thought I was going to lose her forever. And you know what? ...it pushed her even further away. (Didn't see that coming, did ya? lol)

We were long-distance, but we called each other every day, talked online, skyped, had vibrant dreams together--everything. We even planned to live together soon. The relationship was amazing. We're also both girls, but she wasn't ready to come out about our relationship to her parents yet. However, when she transferred to a new university, her life became full of stress. We had less time to spend together and the long-distance started getting to me. I became scared of losing her, so I became needy and always looked for reassurance about our relationship until finally...the 'break' happened. I even worried that she didn't like me BECAUSE we're both women even though she always said she loved me.

I look back on that now, and its no wonder she said the spark was gone! ha! I essentially pushed her away by piling my own negative, insecure thoughts on top of her overwhelming stress!!!

In order to avoid causing more damage, I decided to take a little down-time for me and stopped contacting her. I've been working every day to stay positive and regain my stronger self. I'm re-learning to love myself. I do want her back. But I want me back first...

I don't know what this 'break' really is, but I want her to see me with new eyes of love and attraction. I want us to be reconciled--to have a second chance. I want to be a stronger person, and for our relationship to be stronger, and better than it ever was.

For about 7 weeks, we haven't properly spoken. Three weeks ago, she sent me a text asking why I didn't come on our nightly group-chat with mutual friends anymore, but I just said I've been loaded with lots of activities. (I actually have been busying myself with a lot of things, so its true.) She hasn't communicated with me since then, however. Not on Christmas, and not on New Years either. I want nothing more than for us to be together again, so I'm trying my best to stay positive and trust in God, the Universe, and the Law of Attraction. But once every week or so, I miss her so much I start crying or I have a nightmare where I never see her again, does this ruin my manifestation at all? I know this is a process, so I'm trying my best to distract myself.

Some of my family also found out about our relationship, and its suddenly 'out' that I'm a lesbian. So I've been met with a lot of negativity from them.

I apologize if this is too long, but I'm not really sure where to go from here. I really want to be with her again, but I'm also trying my best to be happy by myself! I've gotten a lot of messages from our mutual friends asking me how I'm doing and to come online sometime, but I pulled out the I'm-busy-card too. Any tips or insight would be most welcome! Thank you so much!

[I Love Rainbows]

Hi Calcium,

It's really lovely that you've learned about the law of attraction and posted here. This community is really loving and GREAT! And I feel you will find lots of wonderful advice and support in this place. Welcome

As you raise your emotions to feel better and better, you will find yourself moving more and more into the frequency of love. This means you will feel more loving about people, places, things and circumstances in your life. Issues which seemed like 'problems' before will become opportunities. Doors will opens where before there seemed to be no way. People who were appearing difficult, will begin to be more loving, kinder and accepting with you. In doing so, they will learn to become more kinder, loving and accepting with themselves, others, and the whole world. You have a great opportunity for transformation here.

The situation with your girlfriend has many, many bright possibilities. There are many, many ways it can all turn out for better...and for the best. Both with her and with your families. These are ways you may not see at the moment, but that does not mean they are not there. They are there.

Other people on here will share more of the process, the 'how to' with you. I'm just here to tell you that it';s all going to be OK, and better than ok...blissful, in fact. It helps to have someone tell that to you. i know, I've been there. believe me, it can all be amazing...in glorious ways you never even dreamed yet.

Here is my brief advice for processes:

1. Focus on yourself. Focus on what makes you feel happy. Visualise, affirm, meditate - when you do, ask yourself one question - 'how does this make me feel?'. Answer with 'good' or 'bad. Fill your life with what makes you feel good.

2. Don't get too caught up in the detail of 'how thing are now'. I see many threads on here which read:

'I had a fight with my ex...then 2 days later he called me, but I hung up. Should i have hung up? Then 1 day later I saw someone post something on their facebook about how he had dinner with such and such...and then....and then...and then....'

This detail does not serve you. Instead of getting caught up in the detail, simplify, simplify. Focus only on what is simple to understand and what makes you feel good. Bring it all back to you. Surround yourself with pink, loving light. Affirm - 'I am love. I am love'. Bring your power back to you. Do not give it to what it outside of you. Your power resides with you, in the here and now. Claim it, and you will move worlds with astonishing ease 

3. Try EFT (you can google it). It's a great technique for releasing feelings of panic. EFT, combined with affirmations and mediation will serve you well. This would be especially good before you sleep, where you could do EFT to get into a loving state of release, then affirm 'I am having a wonderful night's sleep tonight, filled with dreams of love and bliss.'

4. Surround yourself with loving, postive people who can provide lots of hugs and inspiration. Here is a good place to start.

5. Use the resources available to you, especially:

a) This forum, especially in the relationship section. I recommend avoiding the threads named things like 'I want my ex back but I'm really depressed' or 'I really messed everything up' - until you can maintain and sustain a state of love and peaceful bliss within yourself., Until then those threads will just drag you down. Read the 'how to's' and the SUCCESS STORY section instead

b) The Abraham Hicks videos on youtube. Just google 'Abraham' and then a topic, like 'relationships'; there are heaps there.

6. Use the strength of the gay community to build on your own personal strength, to love your true, beautiful nature, and to show through example to your family, the light and love of the Universe in you - you can inspire them as a proud, out and out, gay woman. Start by connecting with others like you

Lots of love and light my dear
iloverainbows xx

[LifeIsGoodToday]

Welcome Calcium! You've landed in a great place. I recommend you check out the topics that are stickied at the top of this relationship section. They are loaded with tons of great information that will help you get started on your way.

I can relate in that I am also a girl attracting my girl back. Rainbow gave you some great advice about. Check out the topics that are stickied and start practicing these things, you will find that you will almost immediately begin to feel better when you implement these things.

All of your desires are yours already!

Blessings and Love.

[calcium]

@Iloverainbows: Wow!!!! Thank you so much for really taking the time to write such an long response. That is incredibly kind of you. All of your words really hit me in my emotional soft spot and I've already been taking your advice and the advice this forum is so rich with and I can feel all the love! I really can't wait until I can post my success story and help others in a similar situation. Thank you!!

@Jagged: You are so right! There is a lot of wonderful information out here and I've already learned a great deal! I'm actually really excited for all the positive things this experience is going to bring! Thank you so much, Jagged! And I send you blessing and success that you'll be with your girl soon too! ; )

[DH4-everhappyinlove]

Welcome calcium...you have gotten great advice from rainbow n Jagged...use them accordingly and wisely....you have the support here.

@iloverainbows...your post simply beautiful I love and enjoyed reading every ounce of that post..again awesome i am also grateful for that