Author Topic: Friends but 'I love you'? (Read 1334 times)

Dr Scully · « **Reply #15 on:** April 24, 2012, 07:59:16 AM »

**UPDATE #2**

Ok so I spoke to my ex again today. I asked if he felt like he was over me already and he told me "yes I think I am". He said he wasn't confused about his feelings for me anymore. I also asked him what if I was with another man right now, it wouldn't upset him at all?? He said that's a "stupid question and I'm not answering that". I spent the last two months thinking this man loved me, but I guess it was to let me down easy.

I'm devastated and crushed and I can't stop crying now. But I guess I can finally start to move on. I keep reading the DNS Bible - Get Your Ex Back thread, and I read success stories about people who have gotten together later on, but I feel like I'm being delusional. I wish there was a way to "check" if this guy was really my soulmate or not. I know many people on here have gotten exes back (and lots of exes have contacted me months later), but maybe it's detrimental to me to keep thinking "we are soulmates and we will be together eventually!"

I have a lot of work this summer to do with school so I guess all I can do is focus on that now and try to manifest my other dreams like getting into medical school.. I just hate the pain breakups cause

Mr Brightside · « **Reply #16 on:** April 24, 2012, 09:03:19 AM »

Dr Scully i had the same thing happen yesterday, nothing feels worse. I felt just like you, i was just fooling myself this entire time to think something would happen. I put in more work than im sure most people would to make the relationship work again, and it wasnt enough. Its like reliving the breakup all over again, but i think its something for us to learn. Its better to get the big picture than to hang around for months wishing and hoping, it hurts but now we can take the time to really heal

Dr Scully · « **Reply #17 on:** April 24, 2012, 09:42:19 AM »

Sorry to hear that Stef - you still never know what will happen, though. Like I said earlier, all of my exes came back in some form or another.

Before my ex moved away he actually got accepted into 2 colleges in our area, but really wanted that program farther away. A week before school started he got accepted to the far one, and I had a "gut" feeling the whole time that was going to happen. After New Years, I also had a gut instinct we would split in a few months. Now, I'm still getting a "gut feeling" that he's my soulmate and that he's not completely over me, he's trying to move on and distract himself with rebounds or new women.

I guess just go with what you really feel in your heart or your instinct. It's always right. All my friends are telling me conflicting things too now. Just have to go with your heart at this point, I think.

Mr Brightside · « **Reply #18 on:** April 24, 2012, 09:52:55 AM »

I also feel like we should/will be together, but some days its hard to hold on to that when things go south. I guess shifting the focus on other things will help get past the hurt. I knew she was leaving months before she did, with no signs from her, but i knew. Same when she left i felt like i needed to fight , because i knew it would be something worth going after.

Detached&Allowing · « **Reply #19 on:** April 24, 2012, 10:10:03 AM »

The reality of it is you asked him with the "hope" he will give you a different answer. Basic principle of LOA is that "like" attracts "like", therefore if you live in a state of "hope", the Universe will only bring about more to be hopeful for. Does that make sense? CrazySoul has a point, you have to let go. You are "physically" trying to progress things and there is nothing more you can "physically" do. However, spiritually there is much you can do. Feel free to send me a personal message.

Much love and the very best of LOA to you!!

Quote from: Dr Scully on April 24, 2012, 07:59:16 AM

**UPDATE #2**

Ok so I spoke to my ex again today. I asked if he felt like he was over me already and he told me "yes I think I am". He said he wasn't confused about his feelings for me anymore. I also asked him what if I was with another man right now, it wouldn't upset him at all?? He said that's a "stupid question and I'm not answering that". I spent the last two months thinking this man loved me, but I guess it was to let me down easy.

I'm devastated and crushed and I can't stop crying now. But I guess I can finally start to move on. I keep reading the DNS Bible - Get Your Ex Back thread, and I read success stories about people who have gotten together later on, but I feel like I'm being delusional. I wish there was a way to "check" if this guy was really my soulmate or not. I know many people on here have gotten exes back (and lots of exes have contacted me months later), but maybe it's detrimental to me to keep thinking "we are soulmates and we will be together eventually!"

I have a lot of work this summer to do with school so I guess all I can do is focus on that now and try to manifest my other dreams like getting into medical school.. I just hate the pain breakups cause

beautifulmesss12sc · « **Reply #20 on:** April 27, 2012, 03:15:33 AM »

i too was TRYING to make things happen ... texting him ... riding by his house to see what was going on going to the bar we met ... and all it does is torture me .. so i am gradually stopping all that stuff and it gets easier .. i no longer have to talk my self out of going by his house i JUST dont do it ... i dont look at face book ... i dont send many texts any more in fact it had been over a month .. then i got 10 texts frm him in one day .. didnt end up amounting to anything .. but jst shows that he was wondering what happened ... he will NOT tell me to stp texting him even after i asked .. to me it wld be kinder if he really didnt wnt to hear from to tell me so i can truly move on ... maybe he is jst being stubborn .. or maybe he doesnt wnt me to totally let go... i dont know i only know i am just trying to feel the OUTCOME and stop dwelling on changing or controlling whats going on now

JustForToday · « **Reply #21 on:** April 27, 2012, 03:32:00 AM »

its good to concentrate on you now.

i think you still mean something to him otherwise he wouldnt text that much..... but i just dont like this pulling- away- game...

keep on doing your thing and concentrate on the outcome

Dr Scully · « **Reply #22 on:** April 27, 2012, 05:40:53 AM »

Yeah he's not talking to me at all now, but nothing I can do about that, right?? It's his problem, not mine. He's the one that's going to lose a good person from his life.

Another thing I was thinking - he told me before he moved he was "doubting" how the long distance issue would work. So it seems he was doubting and fearful about how our relationship would last - and it didn't. So I'm wondering why did the LOA grant his manifestation and not mine? LOL I was thinking that what we had was true love and that we would just be apart for a bit for school but end up together after we were both done in 2 yrs. It seems he didn't feel that way and the universe granted his wish, but not mine.

If that's also the case, should I just send him love for both of us to heal? Is it possible to send him love to overcome his fears and doubts? He really is a wonderful person but he does have a lot of self-doubts and insecurity issues, and I think that's what helped lead to the split.

beautifulmesss12sc · « **Reply #23 on:** April 27, 2012, 07:34:28 AM »

sending love never hurts .. it can only help ... i am not giving up hope on my guy yet...but i really do want to detach completely .. i think it just gets easier with time ... i am trying to remember it will come in its own time.. there are things i can do to make it happen faster if i can stay detqache d.. i do understand where crzysoul is with her guy ... i think u get to a point wherer u r in such a good place without them .. even though u want them u are ok now and why take the chance .. right now i cant imagine not having him but i may be right where she is if he dont hurry up.!!although i suprised myself when i did not go meet him maybe im getting there sooner than i thought

tereza · « **Reply #24 on:** April 27, 2012, 10:27:16 AM »

Quote from: Dr Scully on April 27, 2012, 05:40:53 AM

So I'm wondering why did the LOA grant his manifestation and not mine?

Could be a bunch of reasons for it. Perhaps his desire to avoid pain was stronger than your desire to stay together, maybe you also felt reluctance about being long distance, maybe this is just part of what needs to happen to get your relationship to the place it needs to be? Does it really matter?

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If that's also the case, should I just send him love for both of us to heal? Is it possible to send him love to overcome his fears and doubts? He really is a wonderful person but he does have a lot of self-doubts and insecurity issues, and I think that's what helped lead to the split.

If you want to, go ahead. But try to focus on the good parts of him rather than his insecurity. Since you know, the more you focus on him being insecure, the more you'll get of that.

Dr Scully · « **Reply #25 on:** April 27, 2012, 10:45:33 AM »

Hm thank you tereza, some really good points. You're right it doesn't matter if he will come back to me anyways. I think what got me down mostly was him saying he's over me, but his actions have been conflicting lately (i.e. he says doesn't want to talk to me anymore, but I'm not blocked/deleted off facebook, he didn't go on his dating profile in a few days either).

Actions speak louder than words so I'm trying to focus on the good things he did for me during our whole relationship, be grateful for the fact that he is a part of my life, and chalk his attitude up to him being irritated.

Peaches97 · « **Reply #26 on:** April 28, 2012, 04:39:54 AM »

Sometimes I just get so frustrated on why relationships work out the way they do sometimes ughhh....dr scully kudos to u for staying strong and trying to b happy no matter what it is so hard I know!! I can relate to u on all of your exes coming back somehow someway because that has happened to me too..even years later sometimes its crazy!! So u really truly never know..sometimes I just hold that belief in my heart sometimes even with my current situation, that somehow I just know its not over yet and something is still around the corner here etc...in the meantime we must keep going and be grateful:)

Dr Scully · « **Reply #27 on:** April 28, 2012, 05:25:52 AM »

Thanks Peaches

Remember people go for years being single and never finding love (like one of my best friends who has never had a boyfriend), so yes, be grateful that we at least found real love, right?

Just an update, he didn't stay mad for too long since I texted him to congratulate him on his exams and he wrote back congratulating me on my research results. I should add that I truly am so very happy for his school success so the text I sent congratulating him was one of pure love.

The lines of communication are back open!

And I owe it to the positivity and strength I was able to gather up today, and this forum, and you all of you guys!!

P.S. I did the remote seduction last night and I got a very powerful, floating out of my body feeling that I only got once before - and that time too he contacted me next day. Hmmmm... very interesting...

tereza · « **Reply #28 on:** April 28, 2012, 09:00:03 AM »

Quote from: Dr Scully on April 27, 2012, 10:45:33 AM

You're right it doesn't matter if he will come back to me anyways.

Actually, I meant that it doesn't really matter what his reasoning was for ending things. Sometimes when things aren't going the way I want them to, I will write obsessively trying to find an explanation for what had happened in my relationship until my mind is exhausted. I will make up new stories that are positive to make myself feel better. I'll create excuses for his behavior. But when I'm done, I realize it's all meaningless. It's all backtracking and dwelling on the past and I've wasted time that could've been better spent elsewhere.

I think instead what needs to be developed is intuition and trust that things are working out exactly as they need to. Inner strength. This thread explains it better than I can:
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship-6/our-%27story%27-and-how-it-prevents-us-from-getting-our-love-back-and-happiness/msg55601/?topicseen#new

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I think what got me down mostly was him saying he's over me, but his actions have been conflicting lately (i.e. he says doesn't want to talk to me anymore, but I'm not blocked/deleted off facebook, he didn't go on his dating profile in a few days either).

I think that's a perfect example of why one should work on getting more in touch with their intuition. If you were in touch with it, you've would've realized that much sooner and without having to check up on his dating profile.

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Actions speak louder than words so I'm trying to focus on the good things he did for me during our whole relationship, be grateful for the fact that he is a part of my life, and chalk his attitude up to him being irritated.

I think that's a good start.