For those who came back TO their exes, what made YOU come back?

[judasentinel]

Alright......let's approach this subject from the opposite angle.

It would be interesting to get perspectives from those of us who have been in the fortunate position to be the ones desired BY someone and they went BACK TO that someone. Can you please share what happened to you that caused you to go back, in terms of thoughts, beliefs, events, ideas, feelings, etc.,?

I want to understand and am sure others would love it as well, as to WHY you went back and what motivated you to. Please limit your answers to factual events and feelings/changes you experienced (if any), as well as what the outcome was.

Thanks,

Love & light.

[Thumbelina :)]

i attracted my ex back twice.. i just posted something regarding this one.. mostly when we attract our ex's back.. we're unknowingly in a very weak state,no matter how much we keep telling ourselves that 'we're strong..and blah blah!!'...so,i attracted him..and the history repeated itself..not once but twice and i ended up loosing all the respect for him and i guess so went the feelings...
the first time i attracted him..it was just love to have him back and the feeling of loosing him totally, and i did so.. i always visualized about him calling me and telling me ..i'm important and all, but later on i realized the truth.. the biggest drawback of attracting your ex is... 'rejection syndrome'... its a state of human psychology.. which cannot take rejection,and when you're wanting your ex.. a big part of that is working..mixing up with LOA..in short creating a bigger mess for you!! I'm not saying,it doesn't work..am sure it does,but think about your first time.. why did you guys have a break up? The reasons?? they're still valid for both of you..unless you want a brand new person,with the same face.. so first focus on what you're wanting?? the same old disturbed relationship which once made you sad? or 'rejection syndrome'!!
P.S... you might be not looking for her at all... it took me 2 yrs to understand,that the guy i was wanting back is not 'the one' for me..no matter whoever says that 'we're perfect'!! so,think...   

[Grateful]

@judasentinel,

Great question..... I would love to know the answer to this as well.. I would also love to be on the opposite end for once in  my life and have my ex want me back.. I wonder if you can LoA that?

Hope you get some answers from the other side... It may help many of us to understand more about LoA..


Light and Love, Grateful

[judasentinel]

i attracted my ex back twice..... .........

You attracted HIM back, so I would be very interested to know from HIM how and why he came back. That's the intent of this thread 

@judasentinel,

Great question..... I would love to know the answer to this as well.. I would also love to be on the opposite end for once in  my life and have my ex want me back.. I wonder if you can LoA that?

Hope you get some answers from the other side... It may help many of us to understand more about LoA..

Light and Love, Grateful

I think when we want someone back, we are in a way using the principles of attraction so our beloveds want us back too. Has to work both ways, I think. And you're right...this thread is about learning from those who went back to someone for whatever reason, not someone who attracted his/her lover back. I wanna know from the lover.......

[Thumbelina :)]

I kept visualizing him calling me all the time.. but at the same time, i had changed my number and switched cities leaving him no place to contact.. I did my bit to get myself back.. Because when you break up with someone.. you mostly fear of loosing the love,but you actually loose yourself.. So i did everything to get myself back, met up with friends,partied and spoke the least about him.. but when i was alone i would just visualize him calling me and telling me that he's sorry and all.. plus i also wrote thank you letters to universe for returning my love to me.. Finally after 1 month or so, i get a long offliner on yahoo, where he wanted to talk to me and all.. so i got back to talk to him but on yahoo strictly,i was stern about not giving my number at all.. so,we clear out things and he tells me...'i am miserable now,am missing you being there for me'.. and slowly we exchanged numbers and got talking..this was the first time..
So i visualized a phone call,and instead of a phone call i got a yahoo offliner.. fair enough!! He did dig me out, that's what mattered at the end,right? This is what i had done..
Second time, the girl he was seeing pissed me off, so i dropped all communication with him.. and he went crazy.. we had ego clashes and totally stopped talking for 2 months..and i'd just visualize him calling me, and we clearing things and he telling me..i'm his love and all..but at the same time..i'd party out with my other friends and whenever i spoke about him..i'd be very stern,and i'd change the topic..but in my visualizations..i'd love him and he'd love me back truly
that happened too, very accurately actually.. he texts me something rude, i replied.. i started crying on the phone...so we scream and we shout..and finally finally..he said.. 'you're my love..and will always be..no'one has the right to tell you anything'... Mission accomplished,second time..!!

[boomergirl]

This is where I can become unsure.  I want to get back with my ex, it  wasn't great when we were together last time, but I believe things improved on his end when he came into my life "just as friends" as he wanted it to be when I acted needy and powerless.  This in turn with other things in his own mind chased him off.  Now he just wants to be friends, and we're not in much contact with each other at this point.  I believe it's possible to attract him back, but I visualize it to be better than it ever was before.  Not counting how many times we've come back to each other or visualizations of what "had happened) or same things (possibly) happening again from the past.
 
How do I know if there is a difference between wishful thinking and really having him back in a new way like never before...
 

[boomergirl]

Just wanted to clarify after rereading my last post.....

We had been together a few years ago, we both felt we were soul mates.  We parted, I was unsure of myself and going through some stuff.  When I became clearer I pursued him but in a needy/obsessive way.  Not good.  I let it go after attempting about 3 times in the same way.  Then one day he came to me, told me he was thinking of me and wanted us to hang out "as friends" and do things.  That he had a some feeling for me still.  I noticed changes in him, good changes.   I became ungrounded, my pendulum swung to the other side, I reminised about the past wanting that again now, projecting into the future, here he was back in my life and I did things that were unappealing to him (as he told me) and I drove him away.  It's all in the past but enough had happened in a very short period of time and he's became uninterested.

I think he wants to "stay friends" because right now, he hasn't met someone new yet.  So I' was there for him every time he called or text and I now see how that has not been a good idea at this time.  I'm turning that around now.  I'm not going to act cold towards him but I need to pull it in some, I have been feeding his ego (as I had been acting on mine) and that's not how it's going to be now.

[Thumbelina :)]

@boomergirl.. my case was quite similar..we broke up and got back for almost 3 to 4 times... the answer is..yes! you can attract you ex back..maybe i am brand new way.. but for that you have to be the person you where the first time,when he got attracted to you!! i felt the same,that we were soulmates.. my friends nd family would say the same too.. but at the end,its about feeling it!! so firstly let your bad feelings go..all of them..about your ex relationship.. your past with him and everything.. you certainly don't want any of that again!! and try to find this post..."bible to get your ex back" ...
it really helped me, it might sound weird initially,but when you want something that bad...let it go first!! you certainly don't want to loose your dignity or self respect for getting him back right? so...think about it.. and read that post!

[boomergirl]

Thank you Sujoyee...

I had such trust issues when we went out the first time, and did alot of pushing and pulling and then later told him about.  I clearly had sabotaged our relationship then.

He told me that he thinks more highly of himself (when he came back last time) and he's looked back and there are things he wants and doesn't want in a relationship now.  It was just ugly this last time "as friends".

So there's this part of me that wonders would it be just a head trip to feel as if he's already here in such a good way as I understand the loa says. 

I work with Angel Therapy cards by Doreen Virtue and every time....6 or more times...at different times since he's gone....the visulize success card comes up when I ask if or what to do about this situation with him.  The reference book says...to expect the best in both me and whoever else involved....the angels are there to assist in me being confident and not to worry.  Visualize us in a situation being happy and me feeling good in my body, mind and stomach (something like that).  Don't worry about the "how" God will take care of that. 

The reason why I kept pulling a card again and again, was because I didn't know or believe it to be possible, I had so much "negative" thinking about myself and our past.  So I'd stick the card back in the deck put them away.  A few days later, take them out, pull one again.  I was in shock.

So.....I'm becoming more clearer on this every day. Is it him or someone else that I'll attract as I raise my vibration.   I still need some clarification. 

[loveofabundance]

Good question!  It made me remember two occasions that I'd forgotten about.
 
The first involved the first guy I ever conciously attracted and then completely let go and got him after I no longer wanted him.  What happened was that he didn't appreciate me at all and really neglected our relationship so I broke up with him.  i was very determined to be done with him forever.  He begged me to come back and I did out of fear of being alone.  Guess what?  his behaviour never changed so i ended things permanently.
 
The second example involved a guy who completely overreacted one night due to insane jealousy and insulted me in front of all of our friends, then raced home to his parents' house, where we were both living 'cause we had just moved to that state, and he packed up all my stuff.  When i came home in the morning he told me to take my stuff and go.  his parents were very upset with him but understood when I took my stuff to my friends'.  Well, he called my mom and told her what he'd done, begged me to come and talk to him, met with me and his parents.  He begged, cried, pleaded with me to take him back and I did because I felt sorry for him.  And, guess what?  he continued to be insanely jealous and controlling!
 
mind you, these guys weren't conciously trying to attract me back through deliberate creation.  oh, that reminds me of a guy who did use deliberate creation to attract me.  he was sweet, kind, a model, all-star athlete and the most popular guy in school.  he attracted me but because I wasn't ready for a serious relationship things didn't work out.  how did i feel?  i felt ackward BUT i still have positive feelings for this guy to this day compared to the others who simply wanted me to fill a void in their lives.
 
oh, and another guy deliberately attracted me while I deliberately attracted him and we were together for two very fun years.  Things didn't work out in the end but I still have positive feelings for him.
 
So, I believe that deliberate creation is the way to go because even if the relationship doesn't last forever, it still sets things up in a more positive light because the focus is positive.

[judasentinel]

I never went back to any of my exes and none of them ever came back to me. Story of my life - less than desirable choices.......hahah!!

[Thumbelina :)]

The biggest problem with us while attracting our ex's is.. we totally contradict ourselves.. when we visualize an amazing loving caring relationship.. we not only focus on what we didn't have, we're also focusing on the qualities 'our ex's' lacked totally.. but at the same time, we are wanting the old person back too... so this is a big clash.. we're pulling something from one hand,and pushing the same away from the other... So,whichever force is higher we get that...its either our ex, or the a brand new person with these qualities.. If its our ex's.. then we start having problems soon.. because with the ex we've also attracted all those negative qualities and the reasons why we broke up on the first place..
and if its the latter,that's a brand new person.. then either we move on, with the person and have a happy relationship else, just acts as a rebound..!! So, your call!!

[boomergirl]

I can totally relate to what you said sujoyee

I think that's where I do send mixed messages to the universe.  There were some qualities I didn't experience with my ex.  I thought with the loa those qualities would come forth in him as I image it to be. 

The angel therapy oracle card I pulled with my ? of "what to do regarding the situation with him"  was...."visualize success" it said...

"The angels want to boost your confidence and relieve you of worries about this situation. Part of this process involves holding positive visions for yourself and the other people involved. When you expect the best, you inspire the best in yourself and others.

The situation you're inquiring about depends on your faith in, and a firm vision of, a successful outcome. Fortunately, the angels can help you hold a high and clear vision of success. Just ask them for this help, and it is done."

The feeling I'm generating is not one I had every experienced for any too long with him the first time we were together.  We both had "stuff" blocking the flow of things growing and going. 

I realized later after we parted how I really felt and how I was messing things up.  It was both of us as the time though.  Amongst all that there was still something we shared.  Something I can't describe in words.

So without having had the full experience with him in the past, can I generate the feelings of a great relationship between him now with the loa?

[Thumbelina :)]

this is where i get so confused, because my ex did come back.. with all those qualities but by that time.. i had moved on.. i didn't want it anymore, i could have visualized him.. like what i want to be.. but, it was quite a chore for me.. i got so irritated with him already!! Plus, the LOA is all about keeping yourself happy.. his presence didn't exactly do that.. so i preferred backing out.. and that's exactly when i got to know.. what i actually want in life!! ND am sure, i'll get that.. i have faith.. and maybe i'll end up with him in life.. with my ever after story with him, but as off present.. i've let him go, he better change and come back ASAP 

[tomripley]

Just putting my two cents worth:

What I am hearing alot of here is what you want from your ex and the kind of relationships you want with your ex and all. I think that is all great and it should be that way. HOWEVER, have you guys ever stopped and considered how you are contributing to the relationship not going the way you wanted it to? Think about it. When the break up first happened, there had to be something both parties did to contribute to the ending of the union. One person usually acts in reaction to the other, it never is one side which has to take all the blame. Now, manifesting an ex back is a great opportunity to change  everything but I think instead of thinking about what a horrible person he is or like how he's the same pig that you thought he was etc. Perhaps just a different perspective could be, what are you contirbuting to this. After all, when relationships are bad or things aren't going the way we want, shouldn't we be deliberate thinkers and give gratitude for the good parts of our  partners instead of just thinking of ourselves all the time?

This isn't an attack on anyone's actions or opinions but just to offer a different perspective on the issues raised.

Thoughts?