For all those who are working towards a blissful relationship - Call to action!!

[judasentinel]

I want to share something that I found to be very interesting, and perhaps comforting on some level too, and it would be sinful to not share it with those who matter - you all.

There is a path that leads us all from where we are, to the ultimate bliss, joy and happiness. We all are on the same path (generally speaking), but at different and varying stages of it. Some are ahead, and others are behind, but I promise we are all on it.

This is the path:

Depression -> Despair -> Revenge -> Anger -> Pessimism -> Frustration -> Hope -> Faith -> Belief -> Knowing -> Bliss

In every situation that is not to our liking, we start off somewhere before HOPE. When we talk about 'alignment' with what we want, it simply means what direction we are facing along this path - whether we are headed towards depression or towards bliss.

In this sense, being in a state of depression is the WORST state to be in. It is worse than anger and revenge, and with good reason. Depression, as you may know, is ANGER turned towards our own self, due to (most of the times) our own perceived inability to deal with a situation. So it affects our self esteem and self worth to a point that we have no other choice but to wallow in our own misery. See, in most undesirable situations, we generally start off with anger, and then we either move towards depression, OR towards pessimism. If we find ourselves unable to deal with that anger, we become vengeful (oh I wanna bite his/her head off!!), OR we skip the revenge part (because good sense prevails), and get into despair, which effectively leads us into depression. But on the flip side, if we can SOMEHOW muster up enough sense to rather than feel revenge (if we can do that, it really helps) and despair, just feel a little pessimistic, we align ourselves with our desired bliss. And then we can slowly chip away at moving towards what we want.

My point that I want to make for all of us here is that maybe we need to take stock of where we are on this scale with respect to our situation. Let's share where we are, and then advise each other on HOW to get out of that stage and move on to the next. If you see, every subsequent stage (from depression to bliss) is a little less negative. And to be honest, we don't need to move in a split second towards the ultimate bliss (although we would like to, but it doesn't work that way). There is a time, circumstance and a place for that to happen, and it wont happen a second before, OR after. And the timing of it is determined, NOT by the urgency that WE feel we have, but is based out of a grand design created by the universe, in which EVERYTHING has to be perfect and beneficial. Have HOPE. The journey from HOPE onwards is a beautiful one.

So, tell me, where are you on this scale? I'm sure we can all be ONE and play our part in healping (a word I coined, which captures both healing and helping) each other.

God bless you all.....and if you like this, say a prayer of gratitude and love for my kids, parents and my Bella.

[sunshinee]

Thank you for sharing it with us.I would admit that I am somewhere between Frustration -> Hope ,I HOPE the things will turn the way i want them to be because of the signs I get from the universe,that's what gives me HOPE but I am AFRAID of the reality right now,where I stand..I am afraid that I won't get what I want and that's why I cannot move from HOPE to FAITH, I am stuck in here..

[judasentinel]

Alrighty then...

...so you're oscillating between frustration and hope. When you move from hope to frustration, you do realize that you are suddenly misaligned with your desire. You are moving away from it. Right? Ok, so when you are frustrated, how do you deal with it, to come back into hope? Let's see.....

...frustration is generally caused by only ONE thing - inability to see the desired result of an action, whether big or small. You call you ex and leave a nice message and then spend days on end, waiting for him to respond in some way or in a desirable way and you dont get it back, or you get an unexpectedly negative response. You dont stay in frustration.....you suddenly dive into anger.....then make sense of things, see if you over-reacted, and then slowly creep back into frustration. Do you see why this could be so hard to come out of? Because we are judging things. Judgment is the reason we feel frustration - which could be defined as the using up of priceless energy into doing something that didn't work out. So, what do you do? You change your THOUGHT about it. Dont think that it didnt work out. Think that it is a PHASE that will pass. And....and....IF what I want is GOOD for everyone, including me and him, then it WILL happen. Think this thought a hundred times. Say it out loud and you will see that the thought will take root in your subconscious and will become a belief. Then nurture that belief by reinforcing it in other areas of your life.

Our beliefs are the core reason for the way we feel and act and how we see our world and situations and people. At the stage of frustration, what I think we can do is that rather than think about the desired result that we didn't get, expect that you will NOT GET ANYTHING. Tell yourself..."I am expecting NOTHING"....it is highly unlikely that at any given stage along this path, if you are hit with a setback that you cannot deal with, you will stay in that stage. You automatically go back to the anger stage. Just remember that. Even if you were in the stage of HOPE, if you were let down, you will go directly to anger. And then you have to walk back to hope again. Think about what belief you are calling upon that caused the frustration. That he SHOULD respond? That something SHOULD happen a certain way? Aha!! SHOULD is a judgmental word. We do not have control or power over everything. But there is always someone who does. Ask for help from THAT entity.

Things will happen around us that will cause us to choose between joy or pain. Choose to side with joy.

[sunshinee]

Thank you for your reply but I don't understand two things,1)if i DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING so then nothing will happen...and that's the opposite of what I am looking for,I look for something,I expect..I pray,hope and then I expect the end result.
2) "IF what I want is GOOD for everyone, including me and him, then it WILL happen." my question is how am I supposed to know if what I desire is good for my guy.In my opinion it is good because I want to be with him,to love him and make each other happy as well.He needs someone to love and to be loved,I can see that.But what if i am wrong?\how can I know what's best for him..

[judasentinel]

By not expecting what you want to happen, I do not mean do not want it. I mean to not expect it to happen AS YOU WANT IT in terms of time-frame. If you want your ex to come back to you, then by all means BELIEVE that he will. But do not expect that every step that you take along that journey will yield a favorable result. Sometimes, you have things happen to you that seem counter-intuitive......you do a nice thing to someone on the street and that person turns around and swears at you. Did you expect niceness from that person or rudeness? Chances are that you expected niceness and gratitude. But did you get it in return? You got the exact opposite. But would you, because of this ONE incident, STOP being nice to people on the street? No, you wouldn't (I hope not)....but next time around, you will be open to the possibility that you may not get a thank you in return. So you stopped expecting a particular outcome in a specific way.

No Expectation in the sense that I spoke, is not applicable to your ultimate objective. I merely mean it in terms of the stuff you do along the way, and that these temporary letdowns must not deter you from reaching out for your goal.

2. You will NEVER fully know everything in life, which also includes whats good for your ex. There is NO ONE except God or universe or spirit, that knows everything. You in your capacity as a physical manifestation of that holy force, are inclined to use your 5 senses, and your connection to that ultimate power to make decisions. Since you are unable to know what is good for everyone, all you can do is hope that what YOU want is good for everyone. However, IF it is not good for everyone, do you still want it? Answer that question for your own self. Do YOU want to be with your ex, if it is not good for HIM, or your family or your loved ones, even if it is good for you?

You will never completely know with 100% certainty what is good for him. I bet even HE doesn't know it himself all the time...no one does. All you have is a HOPE and FAITH that what you want is good for him too, because there is no reason to think otherwise. Yet, if you do find out somehow that whats good for him is different from whats good for you, what do you do? Do you still want him?

It is for this reason that LoA works best if we leave the specifics of our desires to God. It is also for this reason that I believe that LoA will work in bringing back the ex on a permanent basis ONLY if our intent is good and it benefits more than one person - US. Never forget that the power that created the LoA is very much part of the whole equation.........

...and to give you some motivation....think about this.....the very fact that you are still desiring your ex, whose desire is doing that? On some level, you are still in his thoughts. LoA is supposed to attract HIM to you out of your desire, right? LoA is also attracting YOU to him, but ask yourself, out of whose desire? Your own desire to WANT him is strong enough to keep you hooked on him......because you have control over yourself. YOu are aligned with your own desire for being attracted TO him. Are you aligned with your desire to attract HIM to you?

I think we all forget that LoA is NOT a one-sided law that it just takes US to what we want. It brings WHAT WE WANT also to us. It cannot be that LoA simply makes us desire and be attracted to our ex, and at the same time not do the same for our ex to be attracted back to us. Whenever you see it as one-sided attraction, I think it is not born out of LoA working (LoA never stops), but our ego. EGO = Edging God Out....not a good idea, lol.

Let go of your ego - of your attachment to him and you will feel both free and LoA will then work without interference.

Bless you....

[LeyLine]

Im in knowing..i know that he loves me...i know that he misses me...i know that he wants me back. What i dont knowis whether i will want HIM when the times comes, lol - but hey, thats letting go right? I can tell ya, it feels awesome to be in the knowing, cause you dont worry anymore (and why worry, since you KNOW?) And. to give some hope to the ppl here, my situation was and is one of the most difficult here.

Guys, we have all been taught that we create our own reality, right? So...if we truly believe that we do create our reality, then why worry?? If u guys want a reality with ur exes by ur side, then this is the reality u will get. No buts and ifs and hows. Once u really put that into ur heads, then everything will go just fine. This is what i did, and it worked just fine for me. Ever since i REALLY, TRULY, ABSOLUTELY believed that im the sole creator of my universe i have lost weight/found a full time job/make more money/attracted an invitation for xmas vacation/manifested already half my wishes for my ex/met new great friends/. When i ask a sign of the universe, it gives me 4, lol. And all these not because im someone special, a LOA superhero. But because i believe, know and EXPECT them to happen.

[57angel]

Judasentinel and 31, I am grateful for the ideas that you shared with all of us here in this topic. It really made me opened my eyes as well as to where I am currently is in, after my break up. Just few days ago, there were things that happened which I called a "setback" and made me really angry at him for all the things that has been said. And now I realized, the more that I should be truly grateful for that, for he revealed to me his true self, someone who is not worthy of me, by all means! Having realized this, I did my EFT and my SB, telling myself to really forgive him, for it is only in so doing that I can completely let go of him and will lead me to the bliss that I do really want to be. Yes, everything is a decision, our choice and a decision - whether to stay negative and have all those feelings of resentments and despair or to really be happy. And now I know that I will be on my way to my complete healing and have that blissful life I deserve to have Thank you for letting me learned from you both, have a smile filled week ahead of you

[judasentinel]

Its thanksgiving, this weekend here in Canada.

Lots of turkeys, I guess, but not for me, as I am a vegetarian..........

Maybe tofurkey...

Anyone else from Canada? I dont see anyone from up here....brrrr..........I LOVE IT!!

[Sweet Spirit]

I think that is a very interesting path, and so true to what I experienced after my breakup with Ken. But sometimes I think most of us may regress backward at some point and then progress forward again. That is to be expected however with an initial breakup I suppose.

Well I guess I would be somewhere between knowing and bliss (perhaps simply "happy" should be on the scale somewhere?) I haven't had contact with Ken since Tuesday but I have been trying to stay busy and it really doesn't bother me or make me sad that he isn't eager to talk to me right now. I had a really good day today just being out shopping and spending time with my parents. I think that I am going to enjoy my new course at school  too.

I also have a new friend ( he knows who he is    ) and he has given me so much to think about with our thought provoking conversations and has helped me not to be so lonely. I just wish he didn't live so far away.

I know that LOA is working and even though I have not had contact with Ken in several days, I had this feeling that everything was going to be wonderful no matter what the outcome.I am certain that we will resume contact within the next week or so, but I am getting to where I miss him less everyday and I no longer worry what he may be thinking. The important thing is that I am finally getting my life back and I feel peace and joy for the first time since before Ken and I met! I think too that my excitement comes from evidence that LOA works(even through the other things that have happened) and knowing that I can create a wonderful destiny just by my thoughts (and actions of course.) There are so many possibilities out there and I am ready to seize the day.
 Carpe Diem!!!!!!

I owe a lot of my happiness to all of my friends here. You are truly a blessing!!!!

[BELE]

This is similar to the Abraham-Hicks path of alignment. That is very helpful when dealing with negative emotions in the now. I would like to share another path, which is based on how suppressed emotions most often tend to surface when you are getting rid of them.

Here, the starting point is also often depression. There are suppressed emotions making you depressed, but you are not yet connected to them. However, depression is basically anger turned inwards. Therefore, when the depression is surrendered, it typically gives way for anger. The next layer, which comes up when the anger is surrendered, is typically grief. This is often the strongest emotion. Underneath the grief there may sometimes be a layer of shame. But at the bottom of all, there is basically fear. When having surrendered the fear, you return to your natural state of love and bliss. So, this path would be, instead:

depression – anger – grief – shame – fear – love/bliss

This is a more profound path, used to clear out limiting beliefs in a longer time perspective.

Now, Abraham-Hicks suggest that beliefs are only thoughts you think often, while most others, such as Joe Vitale, suggest that beliefs are the unconscious programming that is in charge of our lives. Anyway, when suppressed feelings do surface you become aware of something that was always there, although you had stopped noticing it. Thus, what actually happens is that your consciousness expands. And that is a wonderful blissful thing.

[loveofabundance]

Dang BELE, look at you being all peace and love!  I like it!

[judasentinel]

I think we can combine the Abe-Hicks model and the one suggested by Bele to come up with a unified method to do two things:

1. To see where we are in relation to our desire, we use the Abe-Hicks model.
2. To get better, heal and deal with stuff that is causing misalignment to us, we use Bele's model.

Funnily though, in most situations that I have dealt with in life, I have almost NEVER experienced anger. I trained for years as marine, and as an air force pilot, but didnt have that anger in me to go to war. So I resigned. Perhaps I just internalize all my anger and am not aware of its existence.

Now to the point of true emotions. HOW do you find out what the true emotions are? I have tried to go inside of me and whenever i do, all I can experience is sadness, so its perhaps depression. The underlying emotional rollercoaster is something that I am not aware of. I feel a lot of emotion and its generally with a lot of intensity, but only either very positive ones or very negative ones.

How do I identify my core emotions that are draining me? I have never experienced any loss of energy or physical tiredness in my life, not even to this day. So to find out what emotions are doing to me physically is quite hard for me. I am always energetic and charged up physically, but I would put that down to my excellent physical shape and healthy eating.

My challenge is to identify my deepest fears and emotions.

[BELE]

Judasentinel: Deep emotions are most often connected to a limiting belief, so that if you get up the belief, you often also get up the connected emotions. Sometimes this is also kind of stuck in the body. You can work on this on many levels: physical (e.g. yogic exercises), mental (e.g. analysing your beliefs), energetic (e.g. some yogic meditations, such as the Sat kriya) or spiritual (e.g. prayers). It looks like you are well on your way. Getting up strong emotions is certainly not a bad thing, as long as you don’t try to run away from them but stay in the now and experience them in full. When you work on them the “true emotions” tend to come up at their own pace.

[judasentinel]

True....deep emotions are perhaps linked to some belief, whether limiting or liberating.

The challenge for me is the identification of my true beliefs. I know what I say is one thing and that is anyways the mind chatter. I could do muscle testing, but I need another person to do it. Since I live alone, its hard to do it by myself.

Is there any other way to bring out the deep-seated beliefs in me?

I want to know what I believe deep down inside of me about the girl that I am in love with. Like you suggested, Bele, I want to find out if at some profound depth I dont want her or believe she cares for, or loves me. I want to address them before she is coming back. I want to be healthy, wiser, full of life, the same guy she fell in love with.

Last year, thru LoA, I attracted her back but I failed to keep her because she kept going back to her ex and put him over me. I messed up big time due to my inability to trust her. Now the question is: did she do the wrong things with her ex due to my inability to trust her, or did I become doubtful of her because she did all those things? Don't say it could be a combination of both because it doesn't make sense. I have always been very trusting of people as thats where I start, until I am given a reason to believe otherwise.

In my case, I think I am constantly oscillating between despair, depression and then jump straight to hope and back into despair. I havent felt any anger towards her (duh!! I internalized it all to become depressed), nor do I feel vengeful. Hell, if I had my way, I would just pack up my shit and go be with her and then work with her to sort things out together.

My greatest challenge is to come out of this despair. Right now, as I type, Im not depressed. I am simply frustrated because of the uncertainty and doubts. It is thanksgiving today here in Canada. She could have at least called to wish (remember, we NEVER had a fight....our falling out was very abrupt and I just left her due to the situation, even though she asked me to stay until I found a place, but I chose to live out of my truck than to live in agony). She is a very kind-hearted person, full of promise and beauty. I feel like a failure because I gave up, while I should have stayed there and shown thru my actions that I was the one for her as we once thought and not this other guy from her past who she had started to talk and get romantic with while we were still living together.

How do I let those deep emotions rise and how do I get rid of those limiting beliefs that are associated with them?

[BELE]

Why don’t start with the feelings you have? Why would they be less valuable than those you have suppressed? Focus on them and experience them in full. Then relax and se what is left. Arjuna Ardagh has written a book, Let yourself go, where this technique is described. A useful method to bring up limiting beliefs and connected feelings I believe is using subliminal recordings, such as Pat O’Bryan’s romanceattractor or MindMaster’s Attract Your Soul Mate. They are not right on spot, but probably close enough to do at least part of the work for you. Then, of course, it may take some time and need some patience to get to the bottom of it all.

You wrote you I attracted her back but failed to keep her and that you were unable to trust her. From the LOA point of view you attracted her way of treating you, so there must have been something in you that connected the feelings of betrayal etc with her. This suggests that she did what she did with her ex due to you inability, on some level, to trust her. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you consciously started to mistrust her before she went back to her ex. But still, as I have written before: It is all about you and not about her at all.

Right now, you are giving away a lot of your power to her. To reach your goal you need to let go of the attachments even to her. You cannot attract her from a place of needing her for you to feel good. You need to get to a place where your life is good without her, but where you can say “it would be nice if I had her” smile and then just forget about it. To get there, you need to focus on her in a positive way. Still, there is no need to put her on a pedestal and assume responsibility for everything that went wrong. That’s an exercise that seems designed only to add to your need of her, which will only chase her away. But I suppose you already know that.