Author Topic: Feeling Not Good Enough to Attract a Specific Person (Read 1536 times)

gentle_one · « **on:** July 22, 2011, 05:08:10 PM »

Hi Everyone,

I recently made another post about someone I had gone on 2 dates with and the chemistry was there but I never heard from him again. Nothing bad happened and I wasn't eager or desperate with this person. He was very attracted to me. Anyways, I did see him public with another woman and before that I always hoped he would call me but never did. I didn't focus too much on him until I saw him with that other woman. Since then I feel like I've been pining for him and I hardly even know this guy!

This leads me to my next dilemma. This guy is good looking, has a good job, drives a nice car and seems to have enough disposable income. I am recently seperated, have one child, own a home and make decent money although I don't have a glamourous job.... more like blue collar. I am considered attractive although I do have an extra 20-30 lbs I'd like to lose. This didn't matter to this guy as he found me very attractive the way I was. However, I feel like I'm not good enough for this guy and I feel like this is stalling me in attracting him back to me. I fee like I won't be able to measure up to him or that he will see me as not good enough and perhaps only someone to have a good time with and this is my worst fear. I do live in the same neighborhood as him and have to drive by his house everyday. At times I almost feel as though I am trying to hide from him because I am lacking the self confidence right now.

Something has attracted me to this person and while I really don't know him, I am drawn to him and can't get him out of my head. It's not an obsession yet I almost feel as though I have win him as a conquest in order to compete with the other women he dates.. And if I did win him or draw him back to me, my ego would be satisfied and that would give me validation towards myself and also the fact that Iwould be equal to him. Then I ask myself, is it really worth all this trouble to go through and perhaps I should work on my own issues first and forget about trying to meet men for a while. However, I feel there is a reason he came into my life and why I cannot forget him. This I cannot ignore because the feelings for him are strong and like I said, i barely know him. he could turn out ot be a jerk but I am willing to take that risk to find out.

I feel as though because I dont' feel good about myself that I am sabataging everything. I have read about letting go but the self doubt and low self esteem right now is getting in the way of drawing him back to me before it's too late. How do I remove this doubt about myself and get back on the right track? Is there any info on LOA and self esteem? Thanks so much!

Nicole

LeyLine · « **Reply #1 on:** July 22, 2011, 05:30:08 PM »

So, you want to attract this guy because you need validation....but this is not how it works with LOA - or rather, LOA works 24/7 so when you think about how desperately you want to validate yourself, then you are attracting more reasons to need to validate yourself. You have to take your focus from the negative (your need for validation) and focus on YOU.

You say you have an extra 20-30 lbs you want to lose....this is something that you say that the guy didnt mind (and i believe you cause otherwise the guy wouldnt date you to start with), but its something YOU mind (because u feel the need to highlight it here). In my opinion, when a person has extra weight when they start with LOA, thats a blessing!!! because they have a very real goal to start with self improvement!! Why dont u start boosting your own by losing your extra weight?? Imagine the self confidence that will give you! In that way, you will need no one to validate you...you will validate your own self!

When i learned that the guy i was attracting found another gf, i used my own extra weight as a first step. I started dieting and i started saving money for my trip to visit him (which seemed impossible then)...i did these 2 things cause they felt GOOD! It felt good to be thinner! it felt good to save money! my self confidence went sky high! and finally, the guy was drawn back to me!

gentle_one · « **Reply #2 on:** July 24, 2011, 03:24:24 AM »

Thank-you Leyline for your advice. You are right that I do have to work on myself so I am going to send out good vibes to this guy and let him go. I know once I focus on myself I will attract good things and nice people. I am in a vulnerable state right now and my self confidence has taken a beating when I was in an unhappy marriage that I got out of and now the separation. I am positive that the universe has it all planned out for me.

2thetop · « **Reply #3 on:** July 24, 2011, 07:44:12 AM »

Leyline has some good advice. The only thing that I would like to add, being that you are open to change. Theres a saying, "When the student is ready to learn, the teacher appears." Like Leyline said, use this time to focus on something you have been wanting to do. It keeps you focused on making yourself happy and it builds self esteem. Any time you can accomplish a goal it helps raise your vibration.

Much love