I recently made another post about someone I had gone on 2 dates with and the chemistry was there but I never heard from him again. Nothing bad happened and I wasn't eager or desperate with this person. He was very attracted to me. Anyways, I did see him public with another woman and before that I always hoped he would call me but never did. I didn't focus too much on him until I saw him with that other woman. Since then I feel like I've been pining for him and I hardly even know this guy!
This leads me to my next dilemma. This guy is good looking, has a good job, drives a nice car and seems to have enough disposable income. I am recently seperated, have one child, own a home and make decent money although I don't have a glamourous job.... more like blue collar. I am considered attractive although I do have an extra 20-30 lbs I'd like to lose. This didn't matter to this guy as he found me very attractive the way I was. However, I feel like I'm not good enough for this guy and I feel like this is stalling me in attracting him back to me. I fee like I won't be able to measure up to him or that he will see me as not good enough and perhaps only someone to have a good time with and this is my worst fear. I do live in the same neighborhood as him and have to drive by his house everyday. At times I almost feel as though I am trying to hide from him because I am lacking the self confidence right now.
Something has attracted me to this person and while I really don't know him, I am drawn to him and can't get him out of my head. It's not an obsession yet I almost feel as though I have win him as a conquest in order to compete with the other women he dates.. And if I did win him or draw him back to me, my ego would be satisfied and that would give me validation towards myself and also the fact that Iwould be equal to him. Then I ask myself, is it really worth all this trouble to go through and perhaps I should work on my own issues first and forget about trying to meet men for a while. However, I feel there is a reason he came into my life and why I cannot forget him. This I cannot ignore because the feelings for him are strong and like I said, i barely know him. he could turn out ot be a jerk but I am willing to take that risk to find out.
I feel as though because I dont' feel good about myself that I am sabataging everything. I have read about letting go but the self doubt and low self esteem right now is getting in the way of drawing him back to me before it's too late. How do I remove this doubt about myself and get back on the right track? Is there any info on LOA and self esteem? Thanks so much!