Hi All,
I recently learned of LOA, although my mom was trying to practice it and tell me about it a few years ago but I didn't understand it enough then.
As I'm learning to use it, I'm trying to be really intentional about what I want to bring into my life.
I would like to use it for abundance and wealth, as well as to get my ex back into my life.
But I have a few conflicts with this and therefor need your advice. This is what I'm doing so far, so let me know if I'm doing the right things or not.
For abundance and wealth, I look at pictures online of money, groups of happy people, the beach, and my dream car. I also visualize myself driving my new car and I tell myself 'people love saying yes to me!' over and over.
My goal in 6 months is to move to NY, and therefore have my new car by then since i'd like to drive it there so...I visually driving my new car there.
All of the visualization is kind of working except I can visually the main item, but have a hard time in visualizing what I'm doing? I can see it, but I have a hard time pretending I'm really doing it so I fuss over this.
Anyway, the conflict is in getting the ex back and my pending move. Here's some background:
My ex and I were together for 2.5 years and have now been separated for close to 2.5 years. I believe now that after learning of LOA that our separation was probably due to our negative beliefs and perceptions of relationships and our roles with one another, I think we focused so much on what we hoped wouldn't happen that it did.
Anywho, we have a son together and through the 2.5 years of separation have been on an off until the last 3-6 months in which we still interact because we have to but not like we use to. Along our separation we've flip flopped a lot into who wants whom...because I left him and he wanted me back and at the time I was too hurt to want him back, then because he was trying so hard to be around, I finally did want him back and now he doesn't want me back because he's in love with someone who he says is perfect for him.
The fact that he's in a new relationship hurts immensely because what I've realized in this back and forth game that we've been playing is that yes, he is the one I want for me, and not only want, but he is the one that I KNOW is for me. My end goal has always been to have a family for my son, not a stepparent family but his very own family and before even knowing this, I always knew that my ex and I had a special connection.
Now if we had a special connection, you may say, why isn't he appreciating this connection? Well, while we may have / had a special connection, we didn't necessarily share the same likes, viewpoints, opinions, in fact we didn't share any of that at all , just a deep connection and this is what pulled me to him and has kept me rooted to him. And this is what further convinces me that is is the one for me, regardless of all of our differences. And yet it is our differences that make him think that his new partner is perfect, since she sounds like his female twin (which does worry me but I figure LOA can work around this - and yes, I have tried dating and being with new people and have even met wonderful, amazing, men that I could fall in love with - except for the fact that while I may bask in their perfection, all I can think of is of wishing they were my ex)
I respect that he is in a relationship, but I'm using LOA to see us back together as a family, getting a long and happy. And here's the thing, I'm wondering if I'm maybe crazy or if maybe my mind is just trying to work with LOA here. Before knowing of LOA I had several dreams where he was with me comforting me, and in one dream he apologized to me and wanted to get back together. Now after LOA, and after talking to him a lot about us and why we are a family and why that is more important that some barely blossoming relationship that he's begun, I had a strong vision. The vision was very clearly and it was a vision, sudden and unpredicted, not a visualization that I decided to create: of me holding a baby girl with blue eyes and my ex bending to kiss her forehead and I was so happy. Do I want this so bad, I'm making this up in my mind or did I just really visualize what is in store for us?
Now to the further complication, I'm moving states away, which is why I care / but don't care about his current relationship. I mean to say that it hurts me that he could 'love' and be with someone new, but I know that LOA takes time and I don't just want him back, I want him back when he's ready to be a family man so I can accept a lapse of time, specially b/c of my pending move. And I figure, during this time, with this new partner, he might even be working toward my LOA goals.
Does LOA work with this many factors? Or am I complicating things to much by visualizing too many things at once?
Thank you so much for reading this completely! And for your thoughtful comments and replies!
May 04, 2010, 07:59:45 PM
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