Author Topic: Encouragement for going NC (Read 1080 times)

beautifuldreamer · « **on:** May 14, 2012, 07:57:25 PM »

Hey Everyone,

I recently blocked my ex. My reasoning was this, you cannot enjoy the present or look toward the future if you are still holding on to the past and you can't let go of the past if you are constantly being reminded of it. My ex was my reminder. He reminded me how I settled for less, how insecure and downtrodden I felt and I found myself asking, why do I want to be around this person? It took all the courage inside me but I finally blocked him, I did't tell him that I did it, I just did. In the first couple days, I was still seeing his name everywhere, but eventually that stopped, I stopped myself from thinking of him as well. I am still not 100% there but I take it one day at a time.

A couple days in he realized I had blocked him and I felt so bad, because he was so polite when he asked via email, but I remained strong and did not reply. I believe LOA brought me to a relationship site that really helped me stay strong in this. I read an article on commitment, and how persons who are afraid of commitment and cannot commit to things, will attract partners who will always leave them. I used to think I was a committed person, but I looked deeper in me, I realized that I am always starting things but never finishing them.

The article brought up NC as an example of not committing to your choice. People who flip flop through NC and break it, or just can't make up their minds and just want to live in the gray area of "friendship". I thought, "wow that is me". Could I have really been attracting men who cannot commit to me, by not committing to other things in my life? I think this may very well be my problem. I decided to stick to my choice of NC, and the only time I will answer him is if he confronts me about it in person, not via text or email or any other indirect means.

Some of you are doing NC to get your ex back, so this may not apply to you. But for those of us that are doing it, to cut old ties and move on, keep at it!

vanessa202 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 14, 2012, 08:06:59 PM »

that is very encouraging to read, i too tend to start things and not finish them so its an eye opener for me.
can i ask what does NC mean?

beautifuldreamer · « **Reply #2 on:** May 14, 2012, 10:28:31 PM »

it means no contact.

over it · « **Reply #3 on:** June 21, 2012, 08:12:13 AM »

needed this post today...thanks!

Autumn · « **Reply #4 on:** June 21, 2012, 06:18:27 PM »

Irrespective of whether we turn to NC for getting your love back or just to move on (which again is step 1 if you're looking to get back

), I do think it reflects the commitment we make towards a decision we've taken. First, we realise that to move on you can't let the past hold you back from being all you can be in the future. Trust that this is what's best for you. No matter how hard, it will help you on your personal journey of self -discovery and healing. Gives you more time to think and reflect. It also builds up your self-confidence instead of tearing it down. So that no matter if you date someone or stay single, you are a confident strong person who's assured of his/her worth and knows that he/she doesn't need an emotional crutch in the form of contact from an ex. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's well worth the effort.

iketz0 · « **Reply #5 on:** June 22, 2012, 10:19:46 AM »

No contact rule is really effective especially if the other person is still have a feelings for you. Good luck! You are doing great.

beautifulmesss12sc · « **Reply #6 on:** June 22, 2012, 04:58:31 PM »

No contact is hard when u still have feelings for someone.. i wld send my ex a txt about every 2-3 weeks and when i didnt hear frm him it wld make me feel awful .. then i went NC for a month ... he finally started texting me ... i saw him abt a month ago and made up my mid tht i wld no longer contact him .. he knws exactly how i feel and how to find me ... its been hard but it has made me feel stronger ... it gives them a chance to miss you and see what its like not to have you in their life.. it can be incredibly hard at times because i find myself wanting to share things with him ... but then again why wld i share with a man who choose to not make me part of his life .. i had to get over thinking he wanted to hear frm me .. although i think he liked it .. i did this for me .. and it has truly helped i wld never be comfortable knowing i forced the relationship .. he has to come to me at this point

almightymarius · « **Reply #7 on:** June 22, 2012, 10:16:25 PM »

I did the exact same thing a few days ago with my ex, I couldn't hold it and I peeked at ther profile all the time so she had the advantage and used it against me, which only made things worse.
After I blocked here, knowing that there is no way to check her profile again, I felt a lot better. I started working out, I study a lot more and I'm in a better state of mind overall.
Remember guys that it's not about your ex, only about you. No contact means no contact whatsoever, so unless you keep to your promise, you're going to multiply your agony.
If you wanna share your stories with me you can always PM me, willing to help the others and help myself at the same time. Read my story here:
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship-6/how-i-lost-my-ex-how-do-i-get-her-back/

over it · « **Reply #8 on:** June 23, 2012, 12:04:19 AM »

So I went NC because he's in a new relationship and I don't think it's respectful to me or the new person. So what happens when, you kinda lead them to belive you have someone new in your life as well, but you don't, so that maybe they will take it as a sign, to either think about what they've lost or, move on with the relationship they're currently in. They can't have both. How does the universe view this situation?

almightymarius · « **Reply #9 on:** June 23, 2012, 01:49:50 AM »

I think your mindset is wrong. nothing at this point is about them anymore, just focus on yourself. The reason to block them is to make that empty space in their lives, in order to truly understand how important you were. All the explanation behind no contact is focus on yourself, let them miss you (and they do, nobody can get over it that fast) and use the time you have to improve yourself, to become the person that attracted your ex in the first place, or an even better one.

Kas · « **Reply #10 on:** June 23, 2012, 03:39:55 AM »

What do you guys do when you're in NC and you just miss them so much?! I don't know why I just miss my ex so much today. I haven't spoken to him in months and I was fine for months.. but all of a sudden I just miss him sooo much. I deleted his phone number so I have no way of contacting him (which is great) but I just need to know what you guys do to change your thoughts.

beautifulmesss12sc · « **Reply #11 on:** June 23, 2012, 06:17:34 PM »

Kas .. jst keep believeing .. visualize the outcome .. do things to keep you occupied... its hard some days ... but not contacting gives u back your power .. sometimes i think if i dnt contact him , he will forget me .. i have to say affirmations and send love and jst get on with life ..

Marianna9351 · « **Reply #12 on:** June 23, 2012, 07:17:06 PM »

@kas...if I recall correctly u attracted ur ex knowingly using the law of attraction....in respect to changing ur thoughts, I personally click the good old delete button whenever a bad thought creeps in my mind and try 2 feel as good as I can. With alot of determination, it works..

xxx

Kas · « **Reply #13 on:** June 23, 2012, 11:55:02 PM »

Thanks beautifulmesss12sc.

And yes Marianna9351 -- I did attract him knowingly and I have decided to focus on going general now because it's much more imporant to me to find the right guy. I just missed him so much yesterday and didn't want to go on this negative spiral so I asked the question. I quickly remembered PSTEC and one round of that and all the thoughts of him disappeared! You're right, if I'm determined, then I can definitely get rid of negative thoughts. Thanks!!