Hello Friends,
I ask this question because in my situation the ''detachment'' i have found is not so cut & dry. Not only do i see my guy at work every single day but i am dealing with (anxiety & severe shyness) only where i am concerned it seems..he never seems nervous around other women at all!!!!
Not to focus on the negative anymore--i only look at the positive now where his actions are concerned and i just go from there daily--i don't ever get upset or avoid him anymore when i feel frustrated or defeated like i use to all the time--I KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN when the time is right..i'm in the process NOW of getting what i want I DO FEEL IT NOW!!!!!
Honestly, i know in my situation that i need to say hello or good morning to him, and to (at times) start conversation..which makes detachment a little harder for me (others on the boards have NO CONTACT with their loves) i see him everyday, someties a few times a day and because i get excited when he initiates and forget that i am working on detaching..it puts me right back into that ''i wonder if he's gonna do somethng...'' mode, know what i mean?
But at the same time when I USE TO get frustrated, or even sad i see he reacts by withdrawing completely he can't even make eye contact OR by initiating a hello (very nervously) just to RETREAT again...like he pushed himself to much and now he needs to back away.
But i if give him a sign, so to speak, that i am open and happy (even during his anxious moments) he seems to calm down and try to be around me more.
Like last week for instance..he seemed to be every where i was..he even intitated in ways he never has before!!!! He surprised me the way he showed up here and there..where ever i was:)
I am thinking that my visualization, affirmations, etc. DO have a lot to do with it now more then ever because do feel a achange in him...its confusing at times, but something IS happening between us, more then ever!
So, would you consider saying hello, starting conversation..even stopping in the office when i know he may be there (he seems to do it with me as well) an Inspired Action? Or should i stop doing that because thats not detachment nor is it giving me room to ''Let Go'' at all..like i said, he seems to watch what i do, then react to my behavior!
He seems to calm down and even look more eager to try, sometimes even initiate more, unless he just can't push himself...then i know to back off because he looks to anxious.
Those days i still say hello and go about my business but i do feel compelled to be around him so he doesn't think I DON'T WANT HIM AROUND ME..does that make sense? Is this Inspired Action? I feel I HAVE TO and it does feel good to me as well, so not to make him think i don't want him to get closer to me.I have learned to be happy no matter what..not to get my feelings hurt or feel let down..i have gotten better with this in the last few weeks and i have all of you on these boards (and doing my LOA practices) to thank for
I have learned not to get sad, mad or frustrated i just feel i need to keep contact open with him because he may take anything i do OR DO NOT DO the wrong way.
For me, his situation is unique..that much i will say!
I hope i am making sense. Sorry for the long post.
Thanks so much...
God Bless!
November 14, 2010, 09:55:34 PM
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