Author Topic: Detachment and relationships :) (Read 19619 times)

LadyUniverse · « **Reply #135 on:** March 10, 2012, 09:07:41 AM »

detaching has become a challenge to me. all around 'reminders' of those i must detach of - for now! - keep popping up...

alliswell · « **Reply #136 on:** March 11, 2012, 08:56:35 PM »

Hi all

A quite different question i have....

i have a problem with detachment as whenever i feel like detaching i feel a great loss of my love, my relation that i treasure so much....
i want him back so much...but more than that i want to make myself understand to him..
i feel he mistook everything i said and was so bitter to me...

i want to have this bitterness disappear....he is now not ready to listen to me even..
and i keep thinking what all i want to make him understand....what all i want to say to him....
i did a no of mistakes, i did not communicate well....i reacted to some of his acts very wrongly and then he just ended everything..
i want to know how can i use LOA to make him understand me, feel what i feel and at least be in terms that he listen to me ...

LadyUniverse · « **Reply #137 on:** March 12, 2012, 06:00:47 AM »

@alliswell

a good technique i learned over here is to send him loving thoughts. be sure everything will be fine and enlightened. and it will

kjkitt · « **Reply #138 on:** March 12, 2012, 06:40:04 AM »

Quote from: alliswell on March 11, 2012, 08:56:35 PM

i want to have this bitterness disappear....he is now not ready to listen to me even..
and i keep thinking what all i want to make him understand....what all i want to say to him....

If I may make a suggestion. I have been writing 10 things I am grateful for for the past 66 days. Wow! It has changed my negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Now, Rhonda Byrne came out with a new book. There are practices to do everyday for 28 days. It's called "The Magic". It is wonderful! Check out Amazon.

Blessings to you!

Baxter4ever2 · « **Reply #139 on:** March 12, 2012, 07:39:45 PM »

alliswell
i have the SAME problem now!!!
and idk what to do, im trying so hard to detach
but all i can think about is how hes my love.
i want our love story to go to the next chapter...

SWEETTEA · « **Reply #140 on:** March 22, 2012, 09:45:18 AM »

This is exactly what I needed to read in my situation right now. Thank you

star24 · « **Reply #141 on:** March 23, 2012, 06:16:17 AM »

Hi guys!
I'm having a bit of trouble with detachment, because i know i'm trying to do it in order to get him back, not for myself. But in knowing this i'm working at it and trying to change that. So i'm thinking that's progress in itself right! any advice to help me along? I'm trying not to do affirmations until i'm in the right place, otherwise i'm just pinning for him

this forum is fantastic all the comments are so helpful!

Mariposa, (KnJ) · « **Reply #142 on:** March 23, 2012, 09:20:56 PM »

Detachment is a process and unfortunately you can't force it. It comes when the time is right and it comes sort of all of the sudden in most cases. It's sort of like waking up one day and you are just over all of it. It doesn't mean you forget that person or don't want to be with them anymore it just feels like you can live without them and be perfectly happy. It's hard to imagine that feeling when you aren't there yet but it will come when you are really ready for it and in order to get there you have to just keep plugging along. Don't worry about it, it will show up. I know it's hard because detachment is the key to actually moving forward and to getting your desire but it can't be rushed. So just relax and keep working on feeling good for you.

sh-boom · « **Reply #143 on:** March 23, 2012, 09:55:13 PM »

I want to thank you all for your awesome input in this post. I have learnt so much about detachment, and even seen it in action myself in manifesting! So I have been really trying to detach from the situation with my love, but therein lies my mistake, detatching isn't about trying at all - in fact the more you try the more you are attached!

Now I realise this, I realise I must stop with my inpatience, I am just going let go and go with the flow and stop worrying about if and when it will happen, because it already is happening!

newella · « **Reply #144 on:** May 29, 2012, 10:59:15 PM »

I completely understand this phenomenon bc it's happened to me in the past, without knowing it. My ex ex had told me he didn't love me and I was destroyed, this, however led me to believe that there was no hope and I finally was able to completely let go...I must say though I was not at my happiest point in life and I was still missing the happiness and the love for myself but nevertheless when I really forgot about him or stopped caring he re-emerged stronger than ever. A guy who had so much pride and I thought would never contact me and tell me the things he did DID! Needless to say it didn't work out for several reasons.

But when I think of my recent ex, I have a lot of trouble with detachment bc of the circumstances of our BU. Him telling me how much he loved me, crying, leaving that lingering hope, saying he didn't feel it was over and yet he's gone. So I do lot's of self talk and there are moments that I feel enlightened and at peace but then, bc I love him so much and I thought he was the one, those thoughts turn into worry over the time passed...and BOOM he lingers so far deep in my conscious and subconscience, that I dream about him and when I wake it's like the BU for me all over. I feel that great loss. I believe it's bc I'm scared to let go of the memories or how he made me feel...I would love some help pls

tereza · « **Reply #145 on:** May 29, 2012, 11:50:40 PM »

Quote from: newella on May 29, 2012, 10:59:15 PM

But when I think of my recent ex, I have a lot of trouble with detachment bc of the circumstances of our BU. Him telling me how much he loved me, crying, leaving that lingering hope, saying he didn't feel it was over and yet he's gone.

Maybe instead of feeling sad, you should get angry? On the surface, what he said sounded sweet (and I don't mean to be insensitive), but really...it's stupid. If he truly meant what he said, then no matter what, he would've stayed. That's not to say that he doesn't care about you, he probably does have strong feelings for you, but it does show that he's kind of an idiot. He's an idiot for letting you go and he's an idiot for thinking that you'd wait around for him just cause he said he didn't feel it's over. I mean it's one or the other, over or not, there's no in between.

Anyway, if you haven't already, I really recommend reading this post:
http://www.powerfulintentions.org/forum/topics/getting-your-ex-lover-back

And then doing the 7 steps listed at the bottom. I've been recommending this post a lot lately because well...it's just better than being sad all the time. Plus, it's easier to get detached following that. Also it's fun to see what else you can attract into your life.

newella · « **Reply #146 on:** May 30, 2012, 12:26:20 AM »

Without dwelling too much, it's not as simple as him saying I don't feel it's over and expecting me to wait...I mentioned break up a lot bc I was unhappy with myself but also bc I felt that I couldn't get the emotional reassurance I needed from him. Therefore, after being very clingy and feeling like I needed to hang onto dear life and in the process making my worst fear come true, he decided to walk away. After we both cried for very long, he told me we both needed time to get our life back on track but he felt this was the only way we could bounce back if we had a chance...of course a lot of what he said was in that moment and we were both in heightened emotions.
That's when he said to believe in our love and that it wasn't over, that if our love was that strong we would get back...but when I saw him 3 mths later after him after having dragged on giving stuff back (and me putting an end to it) he seemed afraid to let me go but said it still could not be.

All the while I had not let go, that is a FACT! He knew I'd be accessible to him and so I fed whatever internal conflict he had but assured him I was still there. Have I used anger instead of sadness? I sure have but then I feel, doesn't that go against LOA and isn't it unhealthy altogether? Thank you for the post, I'm still confused as to what state I should be in with my feelings...If I'm sad, letting go is hard, if I'm angry then I'm blocking out love...What to do

tereza · « **Reply #147 on:** May 30, 2012, 01:03:21 AM »

Yeah, reread that post and then read the comments, really let it sink in. It took me a few days to go through it, but it was worth it.

Quote from: newella on May 30, 2012, 12:26:20 AM

I mentioned break up a lot bc I was unhappy with myself but also bc I felt that I couldn't get the emotional reassurance I needed from him.

The article talks about this:
Let your emotions be your guide. If you are getting feelings of sadness or discomfort in a relationship, take yourself serious! Don't hesitate to communicate with your partner over this, and don't hesitate to end the relationship if required.

Maybe this guy is your soulmate and things would've been different if you had acted differently, but I don't think it really matters now. It seems that at that time, the relationship wasn't what you wanted and so it ended.

Quote

I sure have but then I feel, doesn't that go against LOA and isn't it unhealthy altogether? Thank you for the post, I'm still confused as to what state I should be in with my feelings...If I'm sad, letting go is hard, if I'm angry then I'm blocking out love...What to do

I suggested getting angry so that you can move on from feeling sad. You can skip all that and just follow the 7 steps. Put out the intention that you want him back, then move on. Go live your life to the fullest, improve your life, manifest a couple of cute guys that will chase after you. Whatever, just have fun with it. The important part is to get your energy centered back on yourself.

Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck · « **Reply #148 on:** June 11, 2012, 10:19:49 PM »

I consciously commit to flexibility and detachment.
I allow myself and those around me the freedom to be themselves, without imposing rigid ideas of right and wrong.
I live my life in a state of engaged detachment.
I release the need to judge or criticize.
I express myself honestly while releasing any need to impose my beliefs on other people.
Whenever I notice that I am becoming emotionally attached to a point of view, I take a deep breath and come back to a more centered place.
I embrace detachment by choosing to be free from the good and bad opinions of others.
I Leave it to the Universe to work these things out.
I Leave it to the Universe to work these things out.
I Leave it to the Universe to work these things out.
I Leave it to the Universe to work these things out.
I am free of longing for Beth, Undrea or anyone.
I an in a beautiful, loving, relationship with Beth, and I release this intention into the universe.
I forget all about it.
My life-slate is clean and blank.
I enjoy a fabulous love-life - with a new love!! ja, ja :-)))
I practice the art of positive selfishness.
I Plunge into life - in every area - live in the moment, to the very fullest!!

dlovess · « **Reply #149 on:** December 17, 2012, 03:57:28 PM »

Here's a great video I found last week that kind of helps with LOA and manifesting what we want. I thought I would share just in case it might help even one person out there: