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Author Topic: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no  (Read 1005 times)

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Offline Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck

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Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« on: January 20, 2011, 02:33:05 AM »
I want to say this, I think Dating Rules and LOA have no room together, Dating Rules=Limiting Beliefs, Control, and Not Letting Go. No Contact is not a dating rule, it is a healing tool. I am starting to believe that if you want to call someone, call them, the perfection of what you are becoming and doing, and the attraction of this will guide you and give you inner guidance instruction. Look inside yourself on what to do, you know the answers, recently I am getting to the point I ask people, what do you think you should do, and if you do not know or confused or neutral, do just that, nothing the answer will come to you, or the opportunity to act upon that answer will come with your belief.

 
MD, Mr. Best Luck, Humbly and Gratefully
Mr. Best Luck, MD. humbly and gratefully, and wishing us all the best luck on the forum

Offline schenderson22

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Re: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2011, 02:58:43 AM »
.
Quote
No Contact is not a dating rule, it is a healing tool.
  I agree.

 
Quote
I am starting to believe that if you want to call someone, call them, the perfection of what you are becoming and doing, and the attraction of this will guide you and give you inner guidance instruction.
  yes and no.  Some people mistake their "feeling" to be inspired action, when in fact it is fear and desperation that drives them to take certain actions.

Quote
Look inside yourself on what to do, you know the answers,
- a lot of people aren't willing to acknowledge the truth and take responsibilities for their thoughts and feelings. 

Quote
recently I am getting to the point I ask people, what do you think you should do,
that is a good  question but a tough question to ask your self.   i
Quote
f you do not know or confused or neutral, do just that, nothing the answer will come to you, or the opportunity to act upon that answer will come with your belief
- I like

Offline stevelewis

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Re: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2011, 03:10:50 AM »
With all due respect MD, what has "no contact" got to do with a dating rule... If your dating someone, then the last thing you do is no contact... The whole point of the no contact rule whilst here in LOA is to SORT yourself out, let go and then it's OK to contact. Read the bible of getting your ex back! It states basically "Sort yourself out, experience new things be happy and healthy, let go, and THEN CONTACT". If you have let go day one, then contact great!

If they don't want any contact and you keep hassling them, then you won't be contacting 24/7 would ya?!

With regards to the second point, yeah call them, IF YOU ARE READY AND HAVE LET GO of the outcome, as sch22 has said, come people confuse this with desperation and I agree with her.

Probably agree with the rest, but just wanted to add to this! I don't see why we shoudl wait all our lives for them to contact us, if you're ready and happy with whatever they might say.... CONTACT THEM BY ALL MEANS, but only if you can be 100% sure you can accept any response ;)

Steve x

Offline Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck

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Re: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2011, 03:11:00 AM »
SChen,


Thank you for that review, lol, honestly, I really do appreciate it. Through discussion and sharing of thoughts comes growth.


Gratefully,


MD, Mr. Best Luck, Humbly;) and Gratefully


ps: I agree, members the truth will set you free

Offline lise

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Re: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2011, 03:12:40 AM »
I think no contact is difficult to get to grips with at times. I think sometimes on here people think having no contact is a method in order to bring about contact. Similarly contact is sometimes made in desperation and fear when no contact would be better and more healing.

It's knowing yourself well enough to know your motivation and deeper feelings for doing something.

For me no contact has given me a time to reflect, work on myself and try to relax and focus on gratitude - however that brought about a positive change and contact. Then things went not how I wanted and I've not contacted him nor him me. I'm now not sure if the no contact is better because I still need to work on me, plus the situation is not completely right yet or whether I'm hoping that the no contact will bring about contact again as it did before.

I don't want to play games so I'm doing nothing and trying not to over think it and just be grateful for the things that I am grateful for and hope it comes to me what to do without over analysing things.


Offline Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck

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Re: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2011, 03:16:33 AM »
With all due respect MD, what has "no contact" got to do with a dating rule... If your dating someone, then the last thing you do is no contact... The whole point of the no contact rule whilst here in LOA is to SORT yourself out, let go and then it's OK to contact. Read the bible of getting your ex back! It states basically "Sort yourself out, experience new things be happy and healthy, let go, and THEN CONTACT". If you have let go day one, then contact great!

If they don't want any contact and you keep hassling them, then you won't be contacting 24/7 would ya?!

With regards to the second point, yeah call them, IF YOU ARE READY AND HAVE LET GO of the outcome, as sch22 has said, come people confuse this with desperation and I agree with her.

Probably agree with the rest, but just wanted to add to this! I don't see why we shoudl wait all our lives for them to contact us, if you're ready and happy with whatever they might say.... CONTACT THEM BY ALL MEANS, but only if you can be 100% sure you can accept any response ;)

Steve x

In all the get back together dating book, the rule of thumb is NC to make them miss you and come back to you, so I view it as part of a dating rule and a form of manipulation, control, and not letting go. If you follow your intuition, and be honest with yourself and let go, NC is never even a thought. Practicing manipulation is creating manipulation, which according to LOA begets more manipulation. NC is not a dating tool, it is a healing tool, all in the intent. :).

Offline stevelewis

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Re: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2011, 03:22:28 AM »
Fair enough, but if contacting makes you depressed all the time, then don't do it, until you've let go! "Why the not text me back straight away?", "What are they doing?", "Do they hate me?", etc, etc.... If that's how you feel when making contact, then don't!

Thats what the NC rule is about. I've not seen it as "Make them miss you thing", and it's not playing games IMO! I'm not contacting at the moment for a number of reasons, but I've had contact from her, made conversation and then she has dissapeared again, she's the one with limiting beliefs and playing games with me now, and you know what... For the moment I send her love and affirmations, but I'm not 100% ready to hear whatever she could say to me, so I'm not initiating it for the moment! Unfortunately my beloved has limiting beliefs, but she will come round, and in the mean time I'm enjoying life, working hard and sorting out my health, work, friends and family, and lots to do there first ;)

Steve x

Offline Magdog, MD, Mr. Best Luck

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Re: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2011, 03:26:59 AM »
Steve,


Our situations sound very similar, but trust me in breakup dating rules it is the first commandment, lol. Live long and prosper, and the best of luck and manifestation, LOA to all of us. Thank you for building upon my thoughts.


Peter, MD, Mr. BEst luck, humbly and gratefully

Offline stevelewis

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Re: Dating Rules, oH no, DAting Rules, oh no
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2011, 03:31:55 AM »
Well maybe I haven't lived my life by these 'dating rules', good one less limiting beliefs to remove from me! So it's not in my head, goodo!

I know from the bible, and a book I bought about getting your ex back last year, that they said do the no contact to sort yourself out, and when you're ready contact them! That makes sense though doesn't it? Not a game that you're forever waiting for them to contact you?

Who actually here believes that even after years of no contact you should still wait for them to contact you? I still stick by the statement that you should limit or stop contact why you are struggling and coming over needy etc, until you're ready? Do you agree?

Steve x

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