Author Topic: Advice Needed!UPDATE WE SPOKE (Read 1146 times)

beautifuldreamer · « **Reply #15 on:** April 13, 2012, 12:34:44 AM »

Hey everyone,

So here's another update...we just had our meeting. Funny thing is we both went there with the intention of listening to the other. It seems that we both found our own closure. We spoke about some of the things that happened after we broke up and how we felt about it. We both thought the reasons for our break-up in hindsight were very small and things we could work through, but we were stressed at the time. He admitted that if certain things didn't happen (meeting the other girl?), he would have probably tried to get back together with me.

As to where we stand now.....we're on our way to being friends. He didn't indicate any interest in us being a couple again or still having feelings. He mentioned he was glad that I was so strong and empowered and doing what I love to do. We shared our dreams and goals and we just seem like we're on the same path when it comes to personal growth.

Where do we go from here? I don't really know. Something interesting happened though when I was around him, I felt a lot love for him and almost wanted to reach over and kiss him.

beautifuldreamer · « **Reply #16 on:** April 13, 2012, 06:45:35 AM »

Another point from our meeting I'd like to share. In speaking with him, he seemed very impressed and proud that I had come into my own since we broke up. He discussed his life goals and they really lined up with what I want for my life as well. We have both learned so much from our break-up and we are a lot stronger for it. Though we agreed the reasons for our break-up were silly, and that we just needed a brief time apart, there really wasn't any talk of us rekindling things. I know he cares about me, I just don't know to what extent. I know he still has a live-in girlfriend, we don't talk much about her much. Most of the changes I saw in him were lovely....except one....he used to be a hopeless romantic. He dreamed about marrying young and starting his own family. He was so sappy it was nauseating. But today he shared with me how it neither matter here nor there if ever found someone to spend the rest of his life with and he wasn't even sure if he wants to find someone. His desire to find love just seemed to die.

Suddenly, it feels weird being just friends with him. Do you think he was waiting for me to say something about us trying again?

tereza · « **Reply #17 on:** April 13, 2012, 08:32:13 AM »

I'm not sure what you need advice on, seems like you've got pretty darn good instincts about this whole thing.

As for him losing his romanticism, well...it just sounds like he's kind of unhappy right now. Perhaps things aren't quite the way he expected them to be and he's just trying to make sense of it all. I know I felt that way when things started falling apart in my first relationship. I thought I'd marry the first guy I met, but it didn't work out that way. I mean, I was glad that things ended, but the experience made me re-evaluate my thoughts on love and relationships.

Anyway, I don't think it's a bad thing. Just a sign of some transitioning going on.

beautifuldreamer · « **Reply #18 on:** April 13, 2012, 09:04:16 AM »

Quote from: tereza on April 13, 2012, 08:32:13 AM

I'm not sure what you need advice on, seems like you've got pretty darn good instincts about this whole thing.

I didn't want to start a new thread on it since everyone here was eager to hear the results. My gut tells me he's waiting for me to say I want to give us another go...but I'm a girly girl and I like to be wooed and pursued, by SINGLE men.

tereza · « **Reply #19 on:** April 13, 2012, 09:08:02 AM »

Yeah, I think he's starting to figure that out.

truelove · « **Reply #20 on:** April 13, 2012, 09:48:41 AM »

Quote from: beautifuldreamer on April 13, 2012, 09:04:16 AM

Quote from: tereza on April 13, 2012, 08:32:13 AM
I'm not sure what you need advice on, seems like you've got pretty darn good instincts about this whole thing.
I'm a girly girl and I like to be wooed and pursued, by SINGLE men.

HEAR HEAR! Cheers to that beautifuldreamer!!

Love is here · « **Reply #21 on:** April 13, 2012, 06:48:02 PM »

His girlfriend is in the worst position of all. She is living with a man who says he doesnt want or care if he finds someone. Well I guess that goes to show he only sees her as temporary.

tereza · « **Reply #22 on:** April 13, 2012, 07:24:32 PM »

Quote from: eightieschick on April 13, 2012, 06:48:02 PM

His girlfriend is in the worst position of all. She is living with a man who says he doesnt want or care if he finds someone. Well I guess that goes to show he only sees her as temporary.

I suppose this is insensitive of me, but I think his girlfriend is the perfect example of how not to act in a relationship and how not to respond to an ex being around. I feel like his comment is only a reflection of how their relationship is going, which is not so good.

beautifuldreamer · « **Reply #23 on:** April 13, 2012, 11:52:23 PM »

I agree with Tereza and I can sympathize with her because to some extent I was very similar to her...minus the being jealous of the exes part.

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