Conflicted, Some place I dont know where

[arminhul]

I have been keeping busy with work. Just immersed myself in it. Now I am in a place where even though sometimes my heart pines for her, everyday I think of her, but I am used to it now. Sometimes feeling of loneliness creep in but I handle it well.

I went on a date today. This is the first time in more than a year, I have been on a date, first time I have been alone with another girl. I like this girl. But I like my ex too. I like my ex more. This new girl is beautiful in every sense of the word. A bit innocent. Very sweet, very nice.

It was not an official date. I was just testing waters. She is a former colleague of mine from my old job. I called her up and said lets go for a movie, she thought I meant the whole team, with the others. Well anyway the others could not come. She was kind of unwilling then but she agreed on a little persistance. She thought just like friends. Movie did not materialise(yahoooo) cause all places were either booked or played something we did not want to see or was to late in the night. I knew it though, cause I planned it.

We went to a place to eat in a cab, she initially wanted to just grab food and go but she started enjoying being with me as we talked. She knows about my earlier relationship and what a wreck I had become and how I left the earlier job. She enquired about my ex. I told her its over, done finished. I am out of it all. We got talking about girls guys and relationships. I was saying that girls want a guy who can comfort not guys who will need comfort, some sense I was making, throwing a bit of philosophy, trying to impress her and all and basically convinced her that I am out of it and ready to date.

She said no girls are not like that, and all, I simply said I will ask you a simple question and that will prove my point about girls wanting the kind of guys I am saying. She said what and I said straight to her - would you date me? She was surprised and blurted out how can we, we are friends. I said so, it happens between friends. She asked me first what kind of girls you like. I simply said I like girls like you. She was again surprised. Lot more happened but I am not mentioning it.

Basically it went well. Anyway I am taking only positives from this. She was very comfortable with me.

I am confused because I am also wanting my ex back. Somehow the heart just wont give up. I got home, I am living alone now for a few days, roomate's gone out. I was feeling lonely I called her up(my ex). We talked, she recently went for some trip out. She said she uploaded pics on facebook. I said I cant see as I am not in friends. SHe acted surprised, then she sent a friend request. I saw her new pics. She was looking oh so beautiful. My heart gave another pang of missing her. I wanted to shout on the phone- stupid girl do you have any idea how much I love.

We spoke for twenty minutes, it was little uncomfortable, bit forced. But she did not cut the phone, she did not say she was busy, I knew she was not I had checked before calling.

It was polite. Not like how it was between us but courteous. She asked a few questions. We kept running out of topics to talk about. THere were long awkward silences. I dont know for sure the status of her relationship with other guy. But I am pretty sure it is not a committed one.


GUYS I need your advice. I still love my ex. But this other girl I can fall in love with. I am certainly trying see if I can and she can with me. I am conflicted here. It like I am firing more arrows so at least some target will be hit. Basically I think I dont want to be alone. I want to be with someone. I want to love someone. I want to be able to show my love. I want to express.

I have been texting my ex everyday for the last few days. My strategy is that she is not shutting me out, I can still get her back. Maybe she will call me oneday. She replied to my last night text today. Then I texted back and had a short conversation with her through text.

Thing is in all this with my ex, I am the one making it happen. I call, she never does, she did send me a freind request but only after I mentioned I am not in her friends.(I had angrily removed her some weeks back).

I told my ex over the phone she looked beautiful. But I am not sure if I should comment on her pic on facebook. Because I dont want to appear like I am the one pursuing her to others. Not very nice I know. I am just being truthful here.

I think I am lost. My friends tell me I am justified in dating another girl while trying to get my ex back. I did enjoy the date but still I find it a bit wrong. Am I not playing with this girl's heart? I don't want to do that. But god I dont want to be alone either. I have friends I meet them but still I feel lonely. I can't be all cute and stuff with guys, they will laugh . But I want to do so. I like this girl. But I like ex too( more as of now).

Please advice me. I am not even sure anymore about what questions I want answers to.

If you guys can please understand anything from what I have written above please tell me.

2thetop, Bal- you guys must please say something.

[marioska]

Hey, @arminhul! I think that you need time to decide. You want to make a decision right now, but that's not the moment. I think you need to think about what you really want. Do you want to be with your soulmate, or do you only want to be with someone just to be with someone? I am not saying that your ex or the other girl is your soulmate, I'm just saying that you need to realize what do you want to attract. Do you understand my point of view? I hope I can help you ^^

[iloverainbows]

Dear arminhul,

I haven't been on here a while 'cause I've been buzzing about in the vortex and making sure I flippin' stay here! (it's delicious, by the way  ).

So when I came back on here after about a week or 2, yours was the first thread I saw. So this is the one I'm supposed to reply to 

I'm gonna break it down really simple for ya:

WHAT MATTERS IS HOW YOU FEEL, NOT WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Excuse me for the caps, I just wanted to emphasise that because IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT SECRET TO THE WHOLE ENTIRE FLIPPING UNIVERSE!!

Ok, so go and read that bit again, then read this next bit:

When you feel GOOD, it doesn't matter so much what you feel good ABOUT. If you feel good, good things will come. Good things will come in all the ways, including with your ex (by the way if you want her to stop being your ex, try calling her something else in your head, like your 'friend'...self talk is important and sends out the vibes, man!).

So...if you feel GOOD, good things WILL COME.
At first, they will come in the form of BETTER FEELING FEELINGS.
As you sustain those feelings, the good will start to THEN come in the form of MANIFESTATIONS.

The less resistance you hold...the quicker the manifestations will come.
That is why, when you start manifesting like a boss, what comes first will often me the 'little things' (the things you THOUGHT were little)...the ones you just threw out there to the universe and said 'hey Universe, I'd like...(insert thing you're manifesting here but not thinking about much...a cup of coffee, finding $5, seeing a certain kind of car or feather, a phone call from an old friend, new shoes). Because those are the things you've been holding the least resistance about. As you then really get excited about these little things...you'll hope more for the things which you have seen as being further away...then you'll see those things are not further away...you just thought they were. And the excitement of your current manifestations will spur you into new hope, imaginings and belief about more and more things, and then...soon...the entire universe will just yield to your slightest positive touch...And you'll be living bliss 24/7! Yes it is true!!

So, it goes like this:
1. feel good
2. keep feeling good, more good feelings come
3. sustain the good feelings, manifestations come

Obviously you want to be at #3. So you gotta FEEL GOOD.

The key is, it doesn't matter WHAT you feel good about. FEELING GOOD is more important than the FOCUS of your attention.

So, if thinking about the CURRENT state of affairs with your friend (I won't call her your ex anymore) is making you feel bad...don't focus on that! I put CURRENT in capitals there because it's only the residual manifestations of old vibrations, and current reality is no more important than you make it.

If thinking about this new, beautiful girl is making you feel GOOD...then think about that!

Feeling good about this new girl will NOT, I repeat NOT hinder your future relationship with your friend.

(Read that again).

Feeling good about this NEW relationship will in fact do the OPPOSITE of wrecking potential relationship with your friend. WHY? Because it will set you up into the vibrational reality of GOOD RELATIONSHIPS! And then, only good relationships will come to you! In fact, you NEED to be in the vibrational reality of GOOD RELATIONSHIPS to be able to attract MORE of them! And that's what you want, isn't it?

This new girl is a Universe/God-send. She's giving you the gift of a doorway into feeling good relationships.

There is no 'missing out'. You won't ruin potential good things with one person by experiencing good things NOW with another. In fact, you'll get to more good feeling relationships FASTER.

And, as a PS: It's totally cool to be attracted to more than one person. After all, we're all just the one big happy God-Soul anyways

[truelove]

Thank you iloverainbows. That was great!!