This isn't LoA stuff exactly, though it talks about energies and stuff…but I've been reading this book, "Getting to I do". It's got some pretty controversial reviews and it sort of leaves you feeling a bit disenchanted about the whole marriage thing since it presents the process of getting there and maintaining it as a lot of negotiating, which is so not romantic. But it also has some awesome reviews and tons of women who say they've gotten married after following the stuff laid out in it.
Anyway, I think you should read it. The way they lay out the whole female/male energy dynamic is fascinating and I think it explains why this guy has been acting so strangely towards you. Yeah, perhaps the timing isn't right for you two to be in a relationship, but it seems to me that you jumped the gun by telling him that you are ready for a commitment. I'm going to guess you were the female energy (he pursued you instead of you pursuing him) in the relationship and by telling him that you wanted a commitment instead of allowing him to come to you and ask you for a commitment, you basically switched roles and acted with male energy. The problem with doing that is that approaching male energy with male energy is going to end up with the two of you struggling for power or one agreeing, but doing so in a passive aggressive way (which can be very unpleasant). Well at least according to the book.
I feel like this book is sort of the link between practical advice and LoA advice (even though it doesn't talk about the LoA), because there's a huge emphasis on being centered on yourself. I can't quite explain this well, but it makes me think of a deeply rooted tree. People can climb it, hang things from it, possibly break off a branch, but that tree will stay right where it's at. When it comes to relationships and the LoA, you need to be like that. Grounded. You don't bend and uproot for whatever little nonsense that comes along. You've got tree things to do.
Same thing with relationships. You don't get flustered because he does this thing or he does that thing. You're the tree! He comes to you if he wants shade!
Hah. What a horrible analogy. Sorry. But I hope you get the idea.
I don't think you're desperate. You're just reacting that way because things have become unbalanced in the relationship. He moved further away, so in order to fill the space between the two of you, you went after him. Now that you've stopped chasing him, you'll see how this works in reverse.
Anyway, I think you should read it. The way they lay out the whole female/male energy dynamic is fascinating and I think it explains why this guy has been acting so strangely towards you. Yeah, perhaps the timing isn't right for you two to be in a relationship, but it seems to me that you jumped the gun by telling him that you are ready for a commitment. I'm going to guess you were the female energy (he pursued you instead of you pursuing him) in the relationship and by telling him that you wanted a commitment instead of allowing him to come to you and ask you for a commitment, you basically switched roles and acted with male energy. The problem with doing that is that approaching male energy with male energy is going to end up with the two of you struggling for power or one agreeing, but doing so in a passive aggressive way (which can be very unpleasant). Well at least according to the book.
I feel like this book is sort of the link between practical advice and LoA advice (even though it doesn't talk about the LoA), because there's a huge emphasis on being centered on yourself. I can't quite explain this well, but it makes me think of a deeply rooted tree. People can climb it, hang things from it, possibly break off a branch, but that tree will stay right where it's at. When it comes to relationships and the LoA, you need to be like that. Grounded. You don't bend and uproot for whatever little nonsense that comes along. You've got tree things to do.
Same thing with relationships. You don't get flustered because he does this thing or he does that thing. You're the tree! He comes to you if he wants shade!
Hah. What a horrible analogy. Sorry. But I hope you get the idea.
I am not desperate as many of you think I am
I don't think you're desperate. You're just reacting that way because things have become unbalanced in the relationship. He moved further away, so in order to fill the space between the two of you, you went after him. Now that you've stopped chasing him, you'll see how this works in reverse.
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