Can i use LOA even if i know my ex got married?

[Rain Raquib]

i know it sounds so weird... but i cant help my self to ask "Can i use LOA even if i know my ex got married?"
i am passing very had time... plz help me...

[SSS]

you can use it i suppose! but would you want to break her marriage! why dont you use it instead to attract someone else into your life who will make you as equally happy!

[Rain Raquib]

i want him to be happy forever... i dont want him to be sad for a single moment...
i cant explain how much i love him...

At the same time i want to be with him... i cant live without him... life is like punishment for me without him...

both of my wish is so contradictory... as he is married now
i have tried to move on several times by talking to some other guys... but no one could impress me as "my love" did.
now i m thinking not to marry anyone and live alone whole my life.
Dont know what to do now...

[SSS]

I understand how you feeling! I have gone through the same but you are saying this because you still havent met the right person! if you keep thinking that no one else will impress you like him then that is what will happen. I think you should be open, make a wish to the universe that you want to meet the right person, someone who will make you happy and more in love than you are with this current guy, let go and believe and it will happen. I went through a similar experience in the past, i was madly in love with a guy and then he left me and got married! althought it did hurt like hell for 2 years, i cried almost every night and said i will never be with anyone else but then out of the blue as i started to focus on my life again, going out with my friends and having fun, someone better came along and then i found myself saying i am glad god took the first guy away from me to give me the new one and all of a sudden everything made sense. My advice is to let go and just dont focus on meeting someone or being with anyone, just focus on living a happy life and have fun, go out and have a blast and before you know someone will come and make you so happy....believe

[Chantal]

@rain: I can feel how you feel. But indeed, ask yourself, do you want to interrupt in a marriage? If so, well, you read the succes stories... I suppose it is possible, but first it have to take time to detach yourself from him and from the outcome, start to love yourself first and be happy with yourself. I also know (and experience) that this is a progress that takes time. And indeed, perhaps you'll meet someone better if you have found yourself again as a complete human beeing without needing anyone else. What I did understood: If you say: "I cannot live without him", you will get more of that.

First try to much as you can finding yourself again, a few weeks ago I felt horrible still also, after a breakup (now 6 months, relationship was during 7 years), but then I found about the LOA, watched the secret. I am meditating right now, do visualisations, affirmations, bought a grattitude book. Sometimes it is still difficult and I get back at the same point where I started, desperate, needy, without any believe in the Universe, so I can understand that we all will "fall back" sometimes in our old thinking pattern (perhaps that's the Ego, or our subconcious mind, I do not know), but if I did my meditations, I feel so much better. Perhaps you should try it too! And perhaps it is not wise (I do not know) to interrupt in a marriage, perhaps all of this is meant to be to let you meet the absolute Mr. Right. But really, I do not know. Guess we all have to keep on trusting the Universe and the outcome will be marvelous.

@ feedback: Did you read the succes stories? And even tough other people have a mind on their own, just think, if he/she would see you happy, selfloving, with respect and acceptance for yourself, what would they do? At this moment I also do have a hard time (also to keep on believing and trust the Universe), but I DID manifest an appointment with my ex, I did manifest getting no row with him, even if he tried, I DID manifest he emailed me. How would you call that for example?

[OmAumOm]

First things first.... essentially you can. But there's a lot of things to address with this particular topic! The most important thing for you to realise is that you are ALWAYS using the law of attraction. This means that everything in your life, including the fact that your ex is no longer in it, you have attracted. Don't use this to pity yourself though! Use it to empower you. You CAN change your life around once you start consciously directing your thoughts to more positive things and raising your vibration.

I can tell you right now that there is absolutely no way that you can attract your ex back in the position that you are in now. Your vibration is low and you are aligning with fear, desperation, and you're longing for this person and you know what that brings you? More fear, desperation and longing for this person! Another thing is: you cannot MAKE your ex come back to you but you can influence him. You say that you want him to be happy forever, now if you truly believed that you'd be happy that he has found love, even though it's not you, and you would be happy for him that he's married. Something you MUST learn, and it will take work for it to sink in but trust me - you'll get to the stage if you work for it and want it for yourself: YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. YOU CANNOT RELY ON ANYBODY ELSE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. THAT IS ATTACHMENT AND NOT AUTHENTIC UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Let this empower you! If you want anything in your life, the work first comes from YOU. Believe you can and you can. Believe you can't and you can't. You need to ask yourself the question: do you believe you can attract your ex back, even though he's married? A more important question: WHY do you want to attract your ex back? Do you think that having him back will complete you and make you feel happy? I can tell you now, that having your ex back will not "complete" you. Relationships are for sharing your completeness with another, not having another complete you.

SSS has it right. It's time for you to learn to love yourself for the magnificent person that you are, with or without your ex.
"I can't live without him..." WRONG! You're alive right now, aren't you? Check your pulse. Get your ex off that pedestal and start LOVING YOURSELF! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

I know that it takes work. Self love is something I'm working on right now and of course it doesn't happen overnight. I'm human and I'm not perfect, but the message is slowly sinking in. You need to realise that your ex is NOT the source of your happiness. The only source of your happiness is yourself. Once you truly realise this, your whole world will change. Maybe your ex will come back and maybe he won't, but it won't matter because you'll feel so fine in yourself.
Listen to your self talk. "no one could impress me as my love did"... these are the thoughts that you need to flip around. Start believing that you're worthy of love and that you will find love whether it be with him or someone else.

I'm sorry if this seems blunt, but I'm trying to get this message clearly across. I hope this has helped somewhat, and remember that you CAN live without him and you are more powerful than you know. Much love!

[Rain Raquib]

Thank you everyone for ur response...

i will try my best to follow all the suggestions...

i would like to add more details about me...
i have been practicing the meditation, visualization affirmation for some days... when i do these i became happy and felt an power inside me and was very confident that he will come back one day and its just matter of time... i used to visualize some scenes that he is calling me over phone and talking like before... or we meet each other and very happy being with each other etc etc...

Yesterday night i saw a dream that he was talking to me and put his palm on my head affectionately... when i woke up i was so happy coz my dream was just like real... after that i found a picture of him and a girl in internet, and girl wearing a dress like an arab bride...(his new gf is arab) so i guessed they got married... not sure though...

after that i became directionless what to do... everything inside my brain is like upside down.... should i continue my meditation as i am doing before? but i am feeling so bad to do it, because it may coz pain for that girl... i dont want anyone to be in my situation, even not my enemy...

At the same time i become so crazy for my love... i cant think that what i saw in my dream last night will not be true... how can i get rid of this?? can i wish that the girl leave him by herself so that he comes back to me? Oh God i am such a bad person...

i know i should focus on myself as YOU ALL said... but it seems so hard... but i m trying... pray for me...

Love you all...
 

[OmAumOm]

Before you begin to attract him back - if you choose to do so - you need to get over the pain of losing him and learn how to be okay without him, that's your main incentive right now. Do not worry about getting him back because you can't when you're feeling this bad... I know how you feel and I know how hard it is and I wish I could say something to take your pain away but the truth is that I can't, nobody can except for you. You were okay before he came into your life and believe you'll be okay now. You cannot wish for that girl to leave him, don't focus on the other girl, never try to "manifest" them breaking up because it will just come around and bite you on the butt and leave you feeling burned.

I really truly understand how hard it is to focus on yourself, especially as you're going through this pain, but I hope you realise that you can get through it and you will be okay in the end: remember that the universe/god/source energy loves you! Read articles on detachment (just google "law of detachment") become well acquainted with how the law of attraction works, and work from there. Another thing to remember is don't try to feel good just because you think it'll bring him back... a lot of people do this thinking it'll work but it's just signs of more attachment. Look into the teachings of Abraham Hicks, read The Secret if you can get your hands on a copy, also The Power. Reading about LOA will provide you with guidance of what you truly want and you may be led in a different direction to where you want to head right now... maybe a better guy is around the corner! I know you can't see this now but trust me, once you learn more about yourself, focus on yourself and understand how this amazing law works you'll be a lot more clear headed and not feel this need for this guy. You want him back because you think it'll make you happy... I'm telling you right now that you can be happy by yourself, you do not need him.

This is a really important part (the most important) you need to understand about the law and it'll probably take a bit for it to truly resonate with you... everything is in divine order and divine timing. Once you get to that place of not needing your ex (you cannot attract him from desperation and need, what you're operating out of right now) you will trust that the universe is working perfectly to bring you what you want. This means that a better guy will come along or somehow your ex will come back, if he's the right one for you... the universe is infinitely intelligent and will shift the world through you for your desires to manifest. Read about Abraham Hicks and vibrational reality to understand this concept more strongly... if you are in vibrational alignment then it must physically manifest because it is law. BUT this is all stuff you'll learn down the track... my advice for you right now is to do things that make you happy, work on gratitude, appreciate family and friends, smell the roses and enjoy life... then and only then is when all that you desire will come to you.

Keep in mind this transformation does not happen over night... Good luck and I know you can do this, I'm sending you lots of positive vibes and encouragement.

[Rain Raquib]

Thank you for your inspiring replies...

i have read all the replies many times...trying to follow what u said...
yesterday i went out with my friends and had lots of fun... but somewhere back in my mind i am still upset... donno how to stop this...

i have read other threads also, i found all of u are using a word frequently...that's "manifest"... i really don't understand it clearly... can anyone plz explain what is Manifest?

Thanx

[OmAumOm]

manifest.... meaning your desires come into physical reality... to manifest something is bringing it into your life. don't try and force your bad feelings to go away because they'll always crawl back up, it's gonna take time to get over him and get over the pain. to attract him back you actually have to get over him to a cetain extent, otherwise your negative vibrations/feelings will get in the way. that's why you must focus on you because your happiness is most important! have you read any books on the law of attraction? I recommend you read ask and it is given to understand the law of attraction better so you can apply it.

[Rain Raquib]

Thank you OmAumOm, i trying to understand the whole process...
last few days i just read more and more posts/comment here... you guys are really very helpful and supportive to each other... i am just thinking why i did nt find this forum before... last 6 months i am just going through so much pain that was really unbearable... but now i am feeling not that much bad... now i realize that someone left me that does not mean i am undone...
May be God have kept something good for me...

May Allah bless you all... 

[Rain Raquib]

Here is some updates...

After one month of not looking into my love's fb, yesterday i looked again and
i found that he is NOT married yet !!!! Though he is engaged....

One month back when i saw that picture, i was so down and prayed "Plz God tell me that
this picture is NOT their 'after marriage' picture... make it engagement picture..."
And this is what happened...!!!!!

Does it mean that still there is hope for me?

Another thing is happening to me ~~~

Out of my frustration and loneliness i just wanted to let it go...
So i was responding to those guys who are interested to me... but back in my mind someone suddenly tells me --
"Why are you seeing new guys, don't you know that Reza will be back to you?"
Why i am feeling this strange thing inside me? this feeling is stopping me to move on...

[Maverick]

Dear Rain!

I have something for you.

First you have to realize that "Affirmations" will not work. If you force yourself to think "He'll be back to me, He'll be back to me". I can bet this will never work.
Ok, I honestly feel you should recover from this, so this time I will not give you some inspiring words or something like that. Instead this time I will be little bit in your face.

"Universe does not listen to your words. It listens to your feelings." Phew! complicated enough. Now look at this

What you say

i dont want him to be sad for a single moment...

What universe listens
I want to be sad
Your wish and your feeling.
What is the feeling associated with this? - Sad, which is a bad feeling. Universe listens to your feelings. You are feeling sad, so guess what "your wish is my command". And universe sends more Sadness to you.
You are asking this. So you get the response.


Again, see where you are focusing on...

i cant live without him... life is like punishment for me without him...
both of my wish is so contradictory...

You focus is on "bad feeling" hence thats what you are getting.

If you don't stop this

i have tried to move on several times by talking to some other guys... but no one could impress me as "my love" did.
now i m thinking not to marry anyone and live alone whole my life.

then this is what you will get.


Focus on what you DO want.. Not on what you DO NOT want.

Before you begin to attract him back - if you choose to do so - you need to get over the pain of losing him and learn how to be okay without him, that's your main incentive right now.

Feeling - the pain of losing him - Negative
Feeling - to be okay without him - Negative
and thats what returns to you.

Rain. I'd recommend you to stop reading posts on this forum now. And get yourself a copy of the book "The Secret" or the movie. Read and reread the book unless you get the "feel" of how The Great Law works. Because not knowing things makes you practice wrongly. And practicing in a wrong way is worse than not practicing at all.

Hope that helps

Thanks,
-Maverick

[Rain Raquib]

Thanx Maverick for explaining very clearly...

Now a days i don't feel very bad as i used to do even a month ago...
Instead, i concentrate on myself now...
I go out shopping, i go to beauty salon from grooming, i make new friends...

But still i cant forget him,,,, and have a deep faith that he will be back very soon... 
But i don't feel needy for him... and i don't want him back only for my happiness...
i think i will make him and his whole family happy too... i believe all of them will like me a lot...

anyway.... i am feeling great these days... no negative thought at all...

By the way... i have seen the movie "The Secret" from YouTube and also downloaded it...
but i don't have the book... Do u have any link to download it for free?

Thanx
Rain

[LifeIsGoodToday]

First you have to realize that "Affirmations" will not work. If you force yourself to think "He'll be back to me, He'll be back to me". I can bet this will never work.

What do you mean by this? Affirmations do work. Affirmations are a great tool. When I say my affirmations I feel good. Affirmations help change my negative thoughts into positive thoughts. After all my affirmations get me to the feeling good part. The more you affirm, the more you feel good and more positive thoughts changes come. You are what you think. That's where the whole LoA process begins with your thoughts. An affirmation is a thought. If a thought makes you feel good and puts you on a high frequency, why would it not work?