Attracting ex's back?

[Love is here]

Im new here, been lurking for a few weeks and noticing alot of posts from people who want to get their ex's back. My question is why? Im not saying thats bad but why not instead attract a new and better relationship with someone thats totally open to you without any past drama? Its a clean slate.

I was hung up on my ex for years. I used the LOA to attempt to get him back (although didnt use it on purpose but looking back thats basically what I was doing) and no matter what he resisted it. We stayed friends nontheless but now he is married to someone else and they have two beautiful boys together. Im totally over him now and happy for him but looking back I wasted so much time with thinking I would end up his wife that I passed up guys that I probably wouldve been compatible with.

Most on here seem to be more advanced I guess you could say with the LOA than I am but I guess im just a little confused about the attracting the ex or any specific person cause they have their own desires and free will that may not align with yours.

Is it healthy I guess is the question im asking?

[Vicki Christina]

Sometimes, when relationships end there are lessons to be learned in life for one or both partners.   Sometimes, if we do not study the issues and learn to do better with less blocks and limiting barriers, we will fail again.  We can go on to have a new and improved relationship when studies of ourselves and the world, according to energy we emit, brings us lessons. Thus sometimes we learn these lessons with a new partner and sometimes with the past partner. 

My guy and I often discuss the lessons we have learned from our ups and downs. 

[Scorpio]

Yep wish for your soulmate,Its not helthy to hang on to the past becouse thats all you will get!

Imagine what you want to achive in life,imagine how your true love is right there besides you-its your partner,your helper in achieving your goals,than imagine succses,how you see it,and never doubht in your heart and mind that you will resieve your wish!

Holding on to whatever brings you nothing-strive for perfection is the key-imagine is the way!
Wow i should write a book.lol

[lilly]

A generality cannot be made on this matter, in my opinion. Not everyone wants the same out of life and out of a relationship, it is all a matter of perspective. Some people didn't get the closure they needed after a breakup and reuniting for another try can ultimately bring that closure. Others feel the other person is indeed the one and reunion is then obvious to them.
The thing is every situation is different and every experience has to be taken for what it is. I have been back with an ex before and even if things got complicated later on I still wouldn't trade all the memories I've had after this reunion in this sense it was worth it, had i given up on the relationship I would've missed on some of the best moments of my life.
You can give up on a relationship or you can persist, in the end you have to trust your instincts and what makes you feel good/believe is right for you.

Im new here, been lurking for a few weeks and noticing alot of posts from people who want to get their ex's back. My question is why? Im not saying thats bad but why not instead attract a new and better relationship with someone thats totally open to you without any past drama? Its a clean slate.

I was hung up on my ex for years. I used the LOA to attempt to get him back (although didnt use it on purpose but looking back thats basically what I was doing) and no matter what he resisted it. We stayed friends nontheless but now he is married to someone else and they have two beautiful boys together. Im totally over him now and happy for him but looking back I wasted so much time with thinking I would end up his wife that I passed up guys that I probably wouldve been compatible with.

Most on here seem to be more advanced I guess you could say with the LOA than I am but I guess im just a little confused about the attracting the ex or any specific person cause they have their own desires and free will that may not align with yours.

Is it healthy I guess is the question im asking?

[simplyjess]

Sometimes, when relationships end there are lessons to be learned in life for one or both partners.   Sometimes, if we do not study the issues and learn to do better with less blocks and limiting barriers, we will fail again. 

I've learned so much about myself in my previous relationship, and now that I've learnt, I would still choose to have him back. It just feels like we have a lot of lessons to work through together.

A generality cannot be made on this matter, in my opinion. Not everyone wants the same out of life and out of a relationship, it is all a matter of perspective.  [...]
You can give up on a relationship or you can persist, in the end you have to trust your instincts and what makes you feel good/believe is right for you.

Many of my friends say that I can do "better", but to me that's just a relative term.

I don't want my ex back...I want a new relationship with the guy I still love.

[Love is here]

Kaori, Good point, every situation is different and some are meant to reunite but I guess for my situation that I had with my ex as well as some others situations that I have read, it seems like the other person just isnt into reuniting for whatever reason and my desires cant change what someone else wants for their life. I guess it depends on if there really is still love there from both sides and how much damage was done in the past relationship and if both feel it is worth working it out.

I do have another ex that I wouldnt mind crossing paths with again because I never received closure. I wouldnt mind just having one conversation with him. I think it would be really healing for me. It was a shorter relationship than the one I mentioned but I was probably more in love with him than anyone I had dated. However, I cant see myself using the LOA to try to get him to love me again or give me another chance. I feel like when its really the right fit its never really that hard and just kinda happens naturally.

[emilylb]

I don't think attracting an ex back is a bad thing if that person really means a lot to you, and they didn't hurt you terribly. I think someone trying to attract back a relationship that was negative is obviously not a good thing. But if you had a lot of fun with that person and they you think their "the one" then I think you should absolutley try attracting them back.

[beautifuldreamer]

Its a two sided coin. I believe if you are meant to be with someone you don't need to actively try to attract them into your life, they will come when the time is right. Maybe it is better to be open to the person who is meant for you rather than the person who you think you want.

[lilly]

It is a personal choice and only you know what is best for yourself. We all have different sensitivities and what is good and makes one happy may not be the same as another. For some people closure can only come when you know in your heart that you've done everything you could to save the relationship and that you won't have any regret later on.

Sometimes, when relationships end there are lessons to be learned in life for one or both partners.   Sometimes, if we do not study the issues and learn to do better with less blocks and limiting barriers, we will fail again. 

I've learned so much about myself in my previous relationship, and now that I've learnt, I would still choose to have him back. It just feels like we have a lot of lessons to work through together.

A generality cannot be made on this matter, in my opinion. Not everyone wants the same out of life and out of a relationship, it is all a matter of perspective.  [...]
You can give up on a relationship or you can persist, in the end you have to trust your instincts and what makes you feel good/believe is right for you.

Many of my friends say that I can do "better", but to me that's just a relative term.

I don't want my ex back...I want a new relationship with the guy I still love.

[JustForToday]

Its a two sided coin. I believe if you are meant to be with someone you don't need to actively try to attract them into your life, they will come when the time is right. Maybe it is better to be open to the person who is meant for you rather than the person who you think you want.

EXACTLY MY VIEW OF THINGS!

i think the universe knows best what is good for me, when i ask for the best and not being wanting ONLY my ex back, even when its not the best for me.
so i leave it open. i asked for the best, whoever that might be.
if my lesson is learned with my ex and not meant to be to be continued, i am open to a new relationship, which is best for me and coming forward in my life.

[Tulip]

I think, to save yourself from pain- just request your soulmate (because that IS what you truly deserve) and let go. If you fear it wont be your ex, your attached. If you BELIEVE your soul mate is your ex- they will return. If the Universe delivers someone better- well, they are better so whats the problem? 

[JustForToday]

youre so right tulip, when we asked for the pain to be continued.... we will get it, because we will get into a relationship or whatever until we learned our lesson. and that might be that we deserve something better.

i realized that you cant limit the universe, not in time and not if you ask for your best. cause we dont know it, only they above do.

not related to that, but just came into my mind.
i wished for a twingo (car), a black one..... since january.

well, i get an orange one now, so what? i am happy with that