Attracting a Specific Perosn with Drama

[twirlgirl]

I talked to this guy fron eharmony for almost 2 months, and then we met in person. We talked every day for a couple of hours for the 2 months. Then he drove the 6 hours to see me, and we had a huge misunderstanding about him staying at a hotel. I unintentionally made him feel unwelcome and untrustworthy. I was really insecure because I have no furniture in my apt, other than just a bed. I have no tables, no couches or chairs,  no TV. My apt is nice, it's just unfurnsihed. I knew he wanted to watch some football games, so I wanted himt o get a hotel so we could snuggle and watch the games at his hotel room. But he felt as if I was untrusting toward him and not wanting to let him in my apt, when that wasn't the case at all.

We had a good time nonetheless, . I had also offered to stay with him in his room,  but I had been a little snobby about where he stayed and he wouldn't let me, because he thought I wouldn't  like it.  I got out of his car upset that he told me no,  I could not stay with him, and then he apparently changed his mind and decided to let me stay a few minutes later, but my phone was turned off, and I missed the call and didn't see it until the next morning.

As I said, we had a good time while we were together, but we were both so insecure that we kept shooting ourselves in the foot. He didn't want me to see his motel room, and I didn't want him to see my apt! And we really both wanted to be together!
I feel like it is mostly my fault, since he drove all that way to MY town, to see ME. I should have been more welcoming. I should have told him about my apt. Ugh!!! But now he is being very unforgiving toward me because he feels insulted, ,disrespected, rejecrted.  He is being very hardcore about it, due to pride, and I have begged, crited, apologized, and asked to come and visit him, but due to the distance, and his upcoming deployment to Iraq that will last for one year,  he is doubting whether or not having a relationship with me wouldu be worth it. I'm hurt,  but I don't blame him, honestly. 


To make matters worse, I didn't even realze his point of view for a few weeks, and thought he was just being a jerk by not wanting to continue communicating and not letting me come visit him, or not wanting to come and visit me again, because I had failed to realize just how insulted and disrespected he was by my actions.  I sent him an email telling him that he was shallow for throwing away our connection, that him wanting to just sleep around with a bunch of women while he was in the military was lame, and that he was headed down the rooad of a bunch of emty relationships with women who were just as shallow and empty as he, and that being at war had damaged him.

I finally realized a few weeks later just how hurt he must have been, and how foolish I had been...
I was doing really well,  but then I sort of lost it, last week, and started calling and texting too much trying to get him to talk to me....I texted him and told him I wanted to apologize, and he said that my email really madde him mad, that he has little interest in speaking with me again...I apologized again and told him that I care about him,  and don't want him going to that awful place.

I  even sent him pictures of myself in the lingerie set that I bought him and told him that I got it for him, he responded saying that it s ucks that he never got to see me in that,  it would have been really e exy. 

I sent him a valentine ecard, and some links to some football games that he loves with music, and I sent him an email with a really long apology telling him how sorry I am, but that I have to let go for now, but would like to leave the door open for the future, that I wanted to sent him care packages while he is overseas, ,that i will always be his friend, and always care for him, , and I apologized again and again for the things I said and did. I took full responsibility for my part of it. 

He hasn't responded...what shoudl I do now?  I hate it that I am the one to blame, mostly....