Attract him again...or forget about him

[boomergirl]

I'm learning more about the LOA, I have two conflicting messages about attracting my ex again.

One is to believe I can, visualize it, feel it,  and let it go.

The other is, if I want to attract my ex here again and only him, I'm acting out of fear..afraid to let go..sending a message to the Universe that there is only one guy who will love me or that I will ever love....which is scarcity thinking.  The only way to get him back is to let him go.

Any thoughts on this?

[boomergirl]

This is what I'm saying...     What if you want to be joyously happy?  (quoted from the Secret daily messages)     But then you ge caught up in the details of WHO and you think that a particular person is the answer to your perfect relationship .The Universe/God/Higher Power/Source can see a way into the future, and it knows if a person will fulfil your dream or become your nightmare. When you don't receive the love of a particular person, you might think that the law is not working. But it is working. your greatest desire is to attract love and be joyously happy, and the Universe is saying, "Not him not her, and please get out-of-the-way, I am trying to deliver the perfect person to you"     Be very careful about getting caught up in the "who" "where", "when" or "how", because you could block your true desire from being delivered to you.

[Unusuallystrange]

Why your ex?
Whats so great about him?
Why did you break up?
Does he deseve to have you back?

Sometimes relationships end for good reasons.Like there is someone much better out there for the both of you.Maybe you should just focus on someone who deserves you as you  desrve him.If thats your ex then good and if not great because there is someone even better out there waiting for you.

[Vicki Christina]

Boomergirl, I think you have to detach by releasing the past so you can create a new storyline.  It does not have to exclude your love.  The storyline has to be for a new beginning which bring a new improved relationship!  VC

[bravelioness]

I've been a victim of that said quote.I was scared.But then my dear friends here said that LOA gives you WHATEVER you want.It doesn't know/care whether it's good or bad for you.I believe that it's very OBEDIENT.Whatever you focus on,it gives to you.When I saw that quote,I was very disheartened but thanks to my friends here I stood firm on what I wanted.Remember,it's your beliefs that shape your reality.I'll forward you some advices that our friends here gave to me.It made me feel better.

[Mergirl]

What I find interesting about that quote is how does the universe really know what is right.

Say for example you want to be with a guy who is rich and buys you stuff and some guy who has low pay asks you out and you say no because he can't afford to buy you things but then two weeks later he wins lottery or gets a good job/promotion and then you missed your chance so will the universe bring you another rich guy? Also what if you decided to say yes and he never became rich because it wasn't his highest value to work hard and apply himself.?
Another good example is I am interested in men who want a committed relationship leading to marriage so if I met a guy and he was iffy about marriage I would not waste my time with him trying to change his mind or hoping that he will change it after he is with me, but many women go into relationship thinking once they are dating he will change his mind. So what if i said no but he was the one who I could have changed his mind? I mean he might realise how much he can't live without me or that he wants to make it official.

]So really I am thinking the important thing is to just know what you want and go for that with a pure, open heart and eventually you will get what you want. Sometimes it just feels best not to question things. The more you question the more confused and blah your head gets....Well maybe not not question just don't over analyse it. IDK I am still learning but thought would put this out there.

[57angel]

Boomergirl, it is you who can really answer your question. Take time to really think what do you want in a relationship and what are the qualities a perfect man you dream of to be with. When I first came in here it was to attract my ex back, but then the more I know of LOA, the more that I learned that he doesnt have all the qualities in a man I am looking for, someone my type of personality will be happy to be with. I see now the separation for us as both our ways of making ourselves better, not necessarily for each other but for our future relationships. In your case, should you really know from your heart that he is the only one you want to spend the rest of your life with, work on yourself as well...work on making yourself fulfilled and complete and whether your ex or not, you will be happy with your perfect man, am sure of that..

[boomergirl]

It's hard some days to think I could attract him back. 

This "second time" we had, was his attempt with some feeling he still had for me, to be friends and see what happens.  I acted needy and clingy and wanted to move things along.  He was the one who said he knows what he wanted and doesn't want now looking back at previous relationships he had.  And I showed him things, more than once that he doesn't like or want in his life and I kept trying to get him back (wrong move yes)....he then said too much has happened that changed how he thinks and   feels. 

During that time "as friends" he didn't always talk to me in a way I deserved, he could be condescending and sarcastic, and at the time, the two pieces fit well....I didn't own my power and was needy...my lessons about myself. 

This last interaction we had with each other was "off", and however I   tried to make it better it wasn't happening, it made it worse.  So it is   best that there has been space between us right now. 

So, do I deserve better, yes.  Does he, yes.  But if I can change for the better for me, because I was not good for me with or without someone, then he can too, not by my doing or for me.  Something I read said....."visualize my desired outcome, when you expect the best in yourself and others, you inspire the best".

When I remember all the things he said about not having feelings for me like I have for him and that there's no door open for possibly more etc...I start to loose faith in thinking he'd ever want to come back to me...based on what in his eyes?

So......he is a great guy with a lot of good in him, no I don't want him back like he was or the way we ever had it.... I want much more and  things to be great now. 

I'm just having a hard time letting it go....and focusing on myself.

[boomergirl]

Ever realize as you're typing or after you've typed, that you get your answer or see how you are confusing the Universe and blocking the flow?

Thank you guys for your support 

[Unusuallystrange]

 

[sunny1304ad]

I actually believe that if  you believe that someone is made for you then you will get him/her.  you need to be doutless about it whatever happens. You need to feel good about him/her.

[boomergirl]

Could I be deceiving myself imagining things to be better than they were before with him......imagining great things and qualities about him.......would that mean I''m in denial of the things that are less desireable in him?

Where the doubt comes in for me is.... I can only imagine what he's thinking after all that has happened and that makes me think I don't have a snow balls chance in a furnace at him changing his mind.

If he lives by the LOA which he was starting to get into....then he'd know there's someone better suited for him out there than I was.  The only way he'd know is he chose to experience anything with me again.

I texted him yesterday to say "hi, how ya been"  He said "pretty good and you"  I said "Im great" he said "good ".  Then about an hour later, "what's new"...I didn't get it until about an hour after that and I said "Nothing much"....and that was it.

When I write stuff like this I think...this is too much.....why not just let it go...him go.....and find someone new who doesn't have any history to bring into the present that taints seeing me for who I am now.  I feel like he's so far/things are so far gone now and think that's what he thinks and feels too.

On the other hand.....you never know.