Anyone here gone through this??...

[Jubilee227]

Hi everyone! Well again as some of you remember my ex made contact last month and he wanted to remain friends although he is in a relationship I refused and well we have not spoken at all since then. He told me was not happy in the relationship and what not but still for me I just felt guilty to be his friend while he is in this situation and wanted the all or nothing, so we have not spoke.

I had been getting signs I guess to make contact with him which I thought maybe I was just imagining it and what not but everyday I would get strong feeling to say something finally I did. I did feel sorta not attached and thought I would be ok if he did not respond I basically wanted to text him to remind him of me?? If that makes any sense cause I was feeling what if he forgot about me and worked out the issues between him and her and just said I do not want to be his friend so he will focus on his current situation. My mind began to play tricks on me.

Back to my point...LOL I texted him the other day around 1 am yeah I know but I was up and had just read a stupid horoscope his sign said something along the lines of something I personally feared him doing was likely to happen if he is not careful, so I texted him. I know this was wrong because at that moment the text came from fear although I had been thinking of doing it anyway that horoscope catapulted me into doing it, thinking OMG he is going to move on with her forever and bla bla bla.

I sent the text it was funny and nice saying I thought of him and hope he is doing well and added some funny lines of a movie we used to like. He never responded I was ok at first but as the days passed I got pissed and thought really not even a Thank You??? I am not angry anymore and am sorta over it but it is still lightly uncomfortable for me that he did not say anything and my fears are creeping in and feeling he does not want me anymore.

Schenderson22 gave me some great advice so I would also like some of your own. Have any of you contacted an ex just to be ignored?? I am having doubts now and it's making me upset because I do not want to go back to where I was a years ago a hot ass mess!...LOL I am struggling a tad bit with this and I have highs and lows which I do not like. i want to feel confident again he will come back but it just seems to be so far fetched now and I feel a part of me feels we are no longer going to be together. Not sure why that is when I was so sure before but lately I just feel disconnected from him if you know what I mean?

They say we are all connected and I believe it and as silly as it may seem I felt him sometimes his energy and now it's like nothing I feel so distant and feel nothing. Maybe because it has been a year and some days since I have seen him and maybe that's why I feel so disconnected and it just seems as the days pass the probability of him coming back are getting slimmer and slimmer.

All feedback would greatly be appreciated!

Have a wonderful day 

[beautifuldreamer]

Hi Jubilee,

I have been in your situation. I texted my ex for new year's eve and he did not reply. I felt bad for a little but I texted him again a couple days later for his birthday and he did reply. I wouldn't worry too much about it. One thing I learnt from my first major break-up is that feelings don't just evaporate, and if someone really cares about you, they won't forget you even if you aren't around to remind them. If he does forget you, then maybe his feelings were not genuine and in that case you deserve someone you genuinely loves and cares for you.

I think you are doing the right thing by not being his friend right now especially since he is in a relationship and sharing how unhappy he is with his girlfriend. I thought I would be ok being friends with my ex 6months after we broke up, even though he had a new gf. I was so confident I could handle it. He had expressed wanting to be friends and I agreed. For me it was not the best choice, because I was only reminded of how much he hurt me, I never knew how to be myself around him because I was always afraid of seeming like I was coming on to him. Then his current gf, started bringing drama about us being friends. It was not pretty. I just decided it was better to go NC again and I have been feeling much better.

Continue to be strong and if you guys are supposed to be together or be friends, the perfect circumstances will align for you and him.

[Jubilee227]

Thanks for the advice beautifuldreamer. I totally get what you are saying and that is why I decided to not be friends with him while he is in that situation. I felt I might not know how to act either and I also thought what if she found out and drama started so to avoid all that I said no. At that moment though I felt confident that he would come back anyway so me saying no to being friends was nothing to me. As the time is passing I am beginning to think if I made the wrong choice. I do agree though that the universe will make it happen if we are to be together again and if he still has strong feelings for me.

Honestly part of me is just giving up I hate to say it but I am tired, I am just fed up with it. I am not the most patient person so I think that is why I am getting the results I am getting because I am not able to see me with him already anymore. I am just ready to spend my lie with someone and do fun things and just love you know? We had such and up and down relationship that we really never spent that much time together. I so wanted it to be him to share these things with but I am open to someone new. I just hoped I could visualize a new relationship with him but it's getting more and more difficult for me to do it without feeling sadness.

Thanks again beautifuldreamer and I wish you all the best of luck and blessings!

[Peaches97]

Omg jubileee so crazy I feel like we are always going through the same thing lol..I did the same the other day and texted him for his bday just a happy bday msg very simple but no response..I also wonder was he just so shocked to hear from me since we haven't spoken in over 2 months or ?? So I knw how u feel..I have to say though we can only control our own thoughts at this point and we don't really know what the reasons are nor should we waste energy on trying to figure it out although its though not too..I also wonder should I just accept things as they are etc..I'm with u there..its kinda like a catch 22 in a way but I guess that's why they say its good to detach..set the desire and let it go 100 percent..but I knw what u r going through!!

[JustForToday]

i have read you stories and i dont know whats up these days... 
know what youre talking about, all i can say.

[excel]

He still has feelings for you. He is probably angry with you cause you turned him down of being 'just' friends. If one feels nothing for someone and holds no grudge against them, they would reply.

Let him figure out his own stuff, while you learn and show a bit more faith. Trying to remind of yourself shows lack of trust in his feelings for you and the Universe's ability to deliver.

Let's not forget we r all humans and we are imperfect, therefore you will make mistakes he will make mistakes but so what life goes on. Next time he contacts you, and he will, maybe you don't reply and show him that this is a two way street. However don't do it for revenge, but to teach a lesson. Your messages hold value, and how dare someone not honor them.

[Jubilee227]

Thank You all for your replies and advice it was much appreciated.
@peaches...Keep up the faith. I wish things were not like this but I suppose its the universes way of saying we still to focus on us and in due time it will come. Honestly these past few days I have been feeling numb I guess. When I see something that reminds me of him I turn to something else.

I honestly an fed up! I cannot do it another minute I am tired and fed up, especially now that I felt he basically ignored me. I answered him within a reasonable amount of time when he decided to text me at 3 am last month.

But who knows I have been so up and down lately that who knows what tommorow will bring. Maybe tomorrow I wont be fed up anymore...lol.

I wish you the best peaches stay strong!


@excel I also thought the same thing that maybe he was upset at me, but the thought of him working it out with her overpowered my thoughts. I felt he maybe thought it was disrespectful to respond? Since last month when he texted me and said he missed me things were not so happy with their situation. I felt exactly what you said how dare he not even say a Thank You, that sort of made me rethink if I should even be wasting my time?

Ugh! this is just all so frustrating...the waiting....the ups and downs....the sadness.....the happiness again...then the sadness again! at this point I just feel like I am over it!

I know its very possible to attract someone specific I have done it many times in the past so please do not let me discourage any of you. This is just me and how I feel at this moment. Stay positive and always put you first!

much love to all of you 

[Peaches97]

Stay strong jubilee!! I had an awesome day today so I'm sending u some positive vibes:) life is amazing and we deserve all things wonderful!! We are almost there..detachment is near..lots of love!!

[JustForToday]

i just copied it from another topic but feel like this could help a bit:

 

STEFZILLA:
    I found in my own experience a few annoying patterns. Whenever i say screw it and just give up i get a phone call or something else to bring me right back.  Its almost like clock work, maybe 5 - 10 minutes i get into the i cant do this anymore mode she calls me. Then the cycle repeats itself all over, i get emotional and attached, she runs and i get hurt again.

    I dont agree with the whole detachment thing. To me it makes no sense. So in order for the person to come back i have to stop caring if they do, so should i stop loving them and thinking about them. I mean if that what it takes then this is pretty ridiculous. If anything the more you love and care about the person it should be helpful rather than hurtful to the process.

    Anyways im going to be a party pooper myself and say this process is flawed. Yes i got some pretty interesting things happen to me when i was meditating, doing remote seduction but when it comes to LOA i really didnt get anything that i would expect. Sorry i cant smile and feel great when the world takes a big shit on me. Yes there is way more going on then we think, i have seen and experiences it, but it never came from me using the "steps" required in LOA but rather me doing other spiritual things.

    OK end of angry rant

ME:

i am with you stef and i understand what youre saying....
too often it happens that if you sooooo close to really dont care if that girl or guy is coming back to you---- they sense it and draw you back, this is kinda game for my already. when you really go into that state, where it really doesnt matter if they come back or not or you even decided within you, that there is no sense to it anymore.... they come back.
but why do we need to pull back in order to make them contacting us again and dont set us free? and pulling back many times to get their interest back? againn and again, so they can draw back once they "HAVE" us again?
i am tired of this game and i wont use my time for that anymore, senseless.
i am opened up for the perfect man which the universe is going to deliver for me. and as long i am busy attracting someone back just that they can disappear again once they have my attention again.... i simply close this door and make SPACE for the real one where i dont need to use some hide and seek games. where i can just be ME and all these back and forth thing will just be gone
cant wait. but as long as we keep on holding to something which isnt completely available for us (and maybe will never be in some cases), no matter why--- we keep oour door and heart closed for our real soulmate who has space in his heart and is able to make a commitment to you.

just my opnion

[Jubilee227]

@peaches Thank You for sending me positive vibes!!!  . I really could use some of it I have been feeling so yucky lately. It's not really that I am sad but I do get teary eyed I feel numb if that makes sense? I was just driving home from work and was in a daze. I cried on my way to work with a song that remnded me of him but I stopped it. It's like my mind knows I am fed up and in some way I think I am fed up and done but in some weird way know that this is when they usually pop up and I check my phone. It's weird because I do not feel like am forcing myself to be fed up I literally am tired and exhausted of it all.

Thank You crazysoul for this, it is exactly what I am feeling I am sick of the Bullcrap, I am fed up and just want to say F*** IT!! F*** HIM!! I am feeling like I deserve better than this and I am remembering things that he did in our relationship that hurt me so much I already thought I had forgiven but I guess not. Although is was many years ago In some way it still bothers me, it wasn't something major but little things that annoyed me.Some of those memories are just reminding me why I should just forget him. Although I love him tremendously I just feel maybe we are not going to be reunited. I wanted it so bad and felt so close I could taste it but now it seems so far away. I hate this feeling I hate wondering. I do put myself first but as much I as I am focused on me I see or hear his name everywhere. Reminders are everywhere! I do not know where to go from here I do love him and want him but as the days pass I am losing faith and growing very tired of the wait.

Sorry for the rant...lol It's just what I am feeling right now and I know all of you guys are very supportive and will always help!

Thanks!!! 

[Peaches97]

I understand jubilee..I've had the same feelings all this is so exhausting..sometimes u just don't want to give the energy to it anymore..crazysoul said it well and I've come up with my own solution..live your life and do your thing and expect good things..send our exes love but without worrying about it anymore...and see were that leads us..call it detachment or just finally throwing in the towel and saying I'm setting myself free of all this stuff..call it whatever but it is the conclusion that I've come up with at this point and it feels right:)

[Jubilee227]

Thanks peaches  ...I am just going to keep focusing on me and try to leave it be for now. It's not good idea to try and attract him back in this state I am in right now anyway. I am just going to send him love in my prayers and that's it for now. I know all is going to be great anyway whichever way it goes!

I am so tired of the worrying and thinking and ups and downs...lol

Much love to you peaches keep up the faith!!!!

[jackofhearts]

(I'm a guy) I've felt the same way. I'm going to give you advice I wished I'd followed. Try to communicate with real verbal talking. It can be a little scary to make the move because you can't plan exactly what you want to say. From there perspective, he might be interested but doesn't know what to say. Eventually he could wait to long and then it feels to built up.

I feel like my old girl that I was chasing had no idea what my virtual messages meant

so hope that helps

[JustForToday]

(I'm a guy) I've felt the same way. I'm going to give you advice I wished I'd followed. Try to communicate with real verbal talking. It can be a little scary to make the move because you can't plan exactly what you want to say. From there perspective, he might be interested but doesn't know what to say. Eventually he could wait to long and then it feels to built up.

I feel like my old girl that I was chasing had no idea what my virtual messages meant

so hope that helps

to be honest- i really dont know what you mean? 

[beautifuldreamer]

I agree the back and forth is exhausting and how do you maintain it if every time you get close they run away?