Another one trying to get partner back

[lilai]

Hi all,

I am new here and wrote a brief introduction on the "newbie" page.

I am currently facing the situation, that I am trying to attract my perfect partner back but worries start to eat me (after holding on for 6 months) and I can use some coaching :-)

I attracted my perfect partner December last year, I met him and I knew immediatelly I would see him again. He looked at me while I entered a party room, turned to the guy next to him and said loud "who is that". As we got together later on, he said that he had as I did, felt immediatelly a special conection and that he had waited for me 37 years. Unfortunatelly things were so great, that my insecurities made me doubt the relationship. I projected all my negative experiences that I used to have on him, I didn't trust him and so I drove him away after just 3 month.

Immediatelly after the break up I got out the "Secret" and started working with the LOA again. At the same time this break up was strange...I didn't break down and while I had heartache I never felt him ...gone... I held on firmly to my believe that he and I are made for each other. It felt like it was a nature law, that we attract each other by natural gravity. We kitesurf together and we have mutural friends so it was clear that we would see each other again once in a while. I concentrated on myself, started yoga, meditation, reiki and looked great and felt good. While I held on to the believe on us I let him go at the same time. I made a vision board and I had little premonitions like seeing us suddenly on the wedding day etc. Whenever we met there was a strong bond between us.
Then in July, when the kitesurfing season started again on the very first weekend we ended up totally drunk in bed together. I tried not to make a too big deal out of it, but during the night he told me how much he had missed me, he could tell me the days that we had been apart etc. But still, I stayed calm. He called me on Monday and said that in light what had happened on the weekend we should talk.

To my huge surprise during this talk he said, that actually he had been heartbroken over our breakup. That he had had a horrible first month and that he had night mares about me beeing with another man and that he still had feelings for me. Usually he is not someone to cry too long about spilled milk and moves on pretty fast but with me he simply couldn't. But he said as well that I scare him. I scare him because he fears I could act like before again and that he then can't be with me although he has feelings. He said as well he is scared because he tried twice before to reconsiliate a relationship and the second break up was much worse than the first one.  My gut feeling told me that he is scared of love, and feeling real love with me calling freaks him out, as much as it had freak me out during our relationship.
We agreed to take it really slow, spend some time together hanging out and in groups and to be at least best friends, get to know each other better and start from there again.

After that we had another totally beautiful weekend with a friend on an island kitesurfing, we didn't touch but we were on the same frequenzy and I could see the love in his eyes (his friend even commented on it , that is why I know I didn't imagine it and this friends that saw us there together said as well it is obvious that we are perfect for each other).

After that I went travelling and he afterwards, exchaning 2 or 3 emails in that time (he is no emailer) and we didn't see each other for 4 weeks due to the travelling. But I was very positive in all that time, I felt so much love for me and had many premonitions about us being together. Dreams and pictures that came suddenly and unasked into my mind.

I have to add that I have a very good intuition....usually my gut feeling works very well. When he had returned from his travels and hadn't contacted me I sensed that something was wrong. We were due to go kitesurfing the following weekend again and totally against his usual behaviour he only contacted me on the Friday moring asking about the trip. During the trip things didn't go too well. He asked me some strange questions about if I ended up with someone else during my travels and my answers weren't exactly great (the truthful one would have been, that I wasn't interested in anyone because I am in love with him!).

Since then things have been going downwards. I sensed for the next few months that he was totally confused and in a panic (we see each other nearly every Saturday at sports).  He seemed unhappy and torn. After sports he seeks out eyecontact with me and sometimes comes over but we don't ever do stuff together. Nothing happend in direction of our hanging out and staring it from there.....sigh.....since that last weekend kitesurfing together I was off balance but still kept believing in us, had the vision board and whenever I looked at it and our picutres together and the words "xxx' wife" it felt totally right and I felt at peace. I was sure, he was on his way back to me. Beginning of October he wrote me an email just asking how I was because it had been a while...but that was it......I was starting to force myself to flirt with other men but they don't interst me....they lack the light in the eyes that my perfect partner has. During all this time, altough I had little periods of doubt, my inner voice always told me clearly and steadily that he is "the one". Whenever I saw him this voice would come out of the nothing and say deep in me "but that's my man".

But in the last few weeks I can't take it anymore. I start avoiding him, I can't look him into the eyes (because then I melt), I can't pretend everything is good, so I avoid him and that doesn't make me feel good. I want to know what happened during his travels, what made him change his mind.

So I asked him to talk and he asked me out for dinner, we were supposed to go tonight, but he canceled on short notice because of work, so we will go Thursday. I will tell him about my feelings and that I sensed that he changed when he came back. We made that date 2 weeks ago and since the middle of last week I go crazy with fear and I cannot stop it. The funny thing is that I don't even know why I panic so - yes, I do love him very much, but the universe knows my wish and if it is the right thing for him and me to be together then I know that the universe will grant my wish. If it is the wrong thing for us I don't want it to happen anyway. It starts to totally eat me up, I can't enjoy my beautiful life with my friends at the moment because the pain is so accute. The thought that I could have been wrong and that he doesn't love me anymore (and as others are ready to point out, his behaviour after our last time kitesurfing says that) hurst me so. As if I try to rip part of my soul out, on the other hand for the first time since we split up looking at the vision board and our pictures doesnt feel right anymore. I am confused for the first time, if I didn't just imagine all that. I am aware that it is difficult to hear what the inner voice is saying if the panic screems so loud over it :-)

I wrote down how the talk is going and how he explains to me what went wrong and that he still has feelings for me. I wrote down affirmations that I will get him back etc. I feel already much better today than I did yesterday but I still have a hole in my heart. I can't belive that I got him halfway back and then lost him again. So I have until Thursday night to get on a better frequency.

Ah - the deadline that I had set in May for us beeing together is before the 24.11.09.

Sorry this was very long but I needed to talk about it and maybe you guys have some input for me?

Thanks a lot

Love and light

Lilai

[Galia]

Lilai,

I can see you already know very very very  well how Law of attraction is working, what techniques to use etc.... I think your problem is actually called simply...... "Negative thoughts"...?

I'm sure you can share with us what you can do so you "tame" those?
Like :

1. cut the negativity

2.replace it with the positive opposite thoughts

3. sow positive perseption for this relationship

4. do visualizations and affirmations... etc etc...?

Tell me more.

Be blessed and happy!

[lilai]

Dear Galia,

thank you very much for your kind reply.

You are totally right.

After writing this down yesterday and reading it again I could suddenly see what had happened.
Especially since in the last few weeks and month a lot of thing seemed to have gone downhill (money, helath, my general happiness).

I had concentrated on lack not on abuncance.
Instead of being overjoyed at the fact, that my perfect partner still does have feelings for me and even doesn't see a new relationship out of the question I had expectations.
When he returend from his long trip and didn't call me I started to worry. And after that bad weekend together I allowed doubts to creep in. Instead of focussing on me, on growing, having a good time and feeling good while I knew that somehow the universe would get him back to me, I started to have expectations how he should behave, that he should contact me and made assumptions what it means that he doesn't. So I concentrated on doubt and lack and that's what I got.
Actually, I made a way too big deal out of this lately, I really let it influence my general state of mind, I was feeling worse and therefore attracted generally not as much good things into my life as I ususally do.

Life is wonderful right now. I am the most blessed person I know. I will concentrate on this again. I will stop looking at his facebook pics (seeing him having a good time without me makes me worry, do I see him with a girl on pics I wonder, is that his new girlfriend...all very counterproductive) but just concentrate on being happy. On seeing the outcome, but in a much less attached way. Lately I guess I was getting a bit obsessive about this.

I am very much looking forward to meeting him tomorrow. Hey, he suggested we should meet and talk instead of brushing me off with an email, so that is great! And I get to spend an evening with my favourite person. I will simply tell him that I love him.

Jeez...I was getting a little impatient here, hm? I mean, who am I do decide how and how fast he is supposed to get out of his fear of love, which now isn't that rare?

What do I practicly do? Well in the time that I felt so great although we just broke up, that first three months I really concentrated on everything that makes me feel good. I still do that, it just didn't work as well since I allowed too many negative thoughts to creep in. I pray every day at least once and tell the universe how thankful I am for all the things that I have. I look at my visionboard. If a day went bad I retold me the day in the evening in a positive way, and on the next morning I would feel much better. I wrote down the story of our lifes, how it will continue positively. Yesterday I wrote down how our meeting will go, all very positive.

At the same time, I try to allow negative feelings and sad emotions to surface, but I try to meet them with understanding. And then let them go and continue on the positive track. I meditate. As long as I do all this things, I attracts positive things in a increadible way. For example, I changed my frequency last night. I oozed abundance, thankfulness and love for my life. As I mentioned earlier lately I was wondering, why I suddenly seemd to be always short of money although I didn't earn less or didn't noticibly spend more than before. Well, this morning, (after beeing back on the abundance frequency) I had TWO letters in my mailbox that had to do with money that I will receive that I actually didn't count on anymore!

My main practise is to breath into my belly, feel the precence and peace within me and to say "all is perfect as it is".

It is great to be on this side and to share.

Thanks a lot

Love and light

Lilai

[lilai]

Dears,

you find me here with tears of gratitude in my eyes.

I have him back.

We met yesterday and talked a lot (first about everything else apart from us). Then I told him that I had tried to go out with other guys but that they simply don't interest me because they are missing the spark, that he has. He said it is the same for him, he tried to get interested in other girls but there is always something missing and that the connection between us is definitly still there. He said is he so bored by going out and that he misses me and us. He is still scared of me but he believes as well that a lot of things changed in the last 6 months.

So we decided to start over. A new relationship, no continuation of the old one. We'll start out really slow this time. But not as slow as after the weekend we spend together :-) because we have our next date on Tuesday.

I am very grateful but have to be careful now and stay focused. Stay in this positive mental state and keep believing firmly that now we will really get officially together and that we will be very happy.

Actually, yesterday before I met up with im I already created a post for putting up here with more or less the same content!!!!

Keep believing....if it is the right person that is on your frequency the universe will bring him or her back to you, guaranteed.

I remembered more things that I did to affirm that I believe in us. A while after the break up I started sleeping in the middle of the bed - a few weeks ago I changed that, I though, hey, there is no space for him here! As well I had still 3 shirts I had bought for him just before the breakup, I kept them in a for him cleared out space in my wardrobe. 3 weeks ago I bought a tooth brush for him.

There are some obstacles with distance comming up for us, since we are both expats from the opposite sides of the world here in Singapore but I am intend to stay positive and believing. This man and I are made for each other

[Ankur Sancheti]

Dear Lilai,

you find me here with tears of gratitude in my eyes.

That's simple so awsome. Incredible.

May you please post your success in relevent section? I mean the Success Story Section.
Link: http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/success-stories/

Keep Attracting, Keep Belivening
Ankur Sancheti

[Sneha Kulkarni]

wow!!Even i am thrilled hearing your story!!

great going!!!

sneha

[Galia]

this is so great and a pure huge example how the LoA works .....just amazing!!!

BE HAPPY! And make it work!

[Shikha]

congratulations to you Lilai you believed therefore you received!!! these success stories make me so happy. keep the faith.
   
good luck and god bless

[dioclem]

That is such a great story.  I am so happy for you.  It gives my hope that I will be with my girl again soon.  Keep thinking only positive and good thoughts. 
Contrats.
Dennis

[slackalice]

this is fantatsic news!! well done you!! xxx

[fish2]

Can you please give me some advice on what you did and how you stayed positive and got rid of doubt in your mind.

I have not been able to stay positive lately. I miss him so much.

I feel very alone.

[Chaz]

There's nothing that stops Law of Attraction from giving us what we want if it isn't the doubt. Getting rid of them isn't easy, I'm somehow glad that you have made it all through and achieved your goal.

[in_my_dreams]

Thats wonderful, how are things going now days? I'd love to hear an update.