Act as if you already have it

[Peace]

7up, you're talking with the tone of who likes to put lots of words into ones mouth and make thousands of assumptions without even knowing the true case, thereby creating only more desperatin and sadness. Your words come across as quite patronizing to me and stir lots of defensive emotions, but I will try to stay calm and explain point-by-point what I think of everything you said.

You think someone's feelings towards you changed because you "started" using LOA?

Because I started using specific advice which I elaborated in my last answer to mirelitkitten. I am not saying it is LOA, but specific methods and attitudes, such as "act like she's already yours", "live your own life", etc. From now on I'll call it *"LOA advice", to avoid confusion.

Things were fine 'before' you started using it right? Maybe it's the fact that once you found out about it you thought you could manipulate her towards you by using LOA and when all of a sudden you got no results, you came on here and vented.

If you read my last reply to mirelitkitten and also one of my first topics on this subforum, you should understand better than this. I thought that by using the LOA advice I could disentangle some problems that were hindering us from being together, such as feelings of guilt and misunderstandings. I was sure about her love towards me even before getting to know anything about LOA. Most people who know my situation from real life will confirm.

- Every post you're contradicting yourself.

Could you please specify where? I might have been unclear at some points, or I might have omitted some information and later added it to clarify, but where do you see contraddictions?

- You're blaming LOA for your actions.

*See above.

- Inflicting abuse, harm and hurt among others will only come back at you ten-fold.

May be true, but this is how I understood what Sneha Kulkarni wrote on page 1, about being oneself and doing things effortlessly.

- You came on way too strong and she bailed, simple.

This is a very possible explanation that I fear. As someone else pointed out, however, it may also be that she is unsure; she may also be unsure about me, whether my sudden change is genuine or I am just playing around with her. But all of this happened after I used the "LOA advice" (*See above for definition).

- Women aren't robots, dolls or an electronic device. They're human beings and they have the free will to do, think and feel exactly what they want to. As both you and I do.

I never said this wasn't true.

Imagine if she was reading this? If she had a lot of sense she'd see the clingy, desperate, neediness you're exuding.

Sorry to be blunt dude, I'm a no crap kinda guy. If she's not contacting you, going offline when you're on etc. You gotta let her go. If you want her back, that's the true and only way she'll come back.

Fair enough, but what if, instead, she was like my ex-girlfriend who actually avoided me because she wanted me to hunt her after she dumped me? (A fact I discovered just two days ago... read here: http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship/unwanted-ex-returns-and-explains-neediness/ )

Right now I am wondering whether it is simply the way I talk to her. As my friends said, maybe she is angry and hurt now because I just disappeared for a few days to "be happy with myself and work on myself". When I returned I spoke super-positively and with an upbeat attitude, saying lovely words, as if nothing had happened. This is how I interpreted "LOA advice", but what if it came across as extremely neglecting?

In either case, do you think "letting go" without even knowing the true interpretation of her behavior (e.g. without asking her) is a sensible solution?

Also bear in mind, mate, that she is my best friend, and it is as a best friend that I want to grow our love. i.e. I'd rather keep her as my best friend than have to let her go.
See my post on what I want from a relationship: http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship/what-do-you-want-in-your-perfect-relationship/

[7up]

Really, you could tell the tone of my voice from reading my post? Does it have a little voice-activated option that reads the tone of what I'm saying? Wow! Where's that button - can you show me??

The 'assumptions' were facts. Read your previous posts. Every single person on here who has taken their time to reply to you and offer you their advice in trying to help you, you have tossed away as 'misunderstanding' or 'discrimination'. Yet we've all said the same thing! And it's all because it is not what you want to hear. The same as this post I am writing now, is again, not what you want to hear.

Is she your ex girlfriend? Has she indicated in some way she wants you to 'hunt' her? Have you tried? Has it worked? Has she told you she wants to be with you? Has she told you she loves you? Does she talk to you all the time? Does she see you all the time at her request?..... The fact of the matter is, right now at this very moment, she does not want you. Otherwise she would be right there.

Right, now she's out of the picture, start looking at yourself. LOA, will only ever work in the sense of you two getting together if it is used with peace (ironic), love and HARMONY. Otherwise the feelings of desperation and clinginess (what you're currently using and feeling at this present moment), will NEVER get you there.

Peace, WAKE UP. For your sake and your sake only. Everything that is happening to you right now is because you attracted it, no one else, you did. So therefore everything in your life, and the events that occur, is your responsibility. Own up to it, take responsibility for everything in your life and go and live it.

[Peace]

@7up

The 'assumptions' were facts.

This is quite far-fetched, if you properly read everything I said.

[...] And it's all because it is not what you want to hear. The same as this post I am writing now, is again, not what you want to hear.

I can say the same about you. We won't get any further if one disregards the additional information provided to every point raised.

Has she indicated in some way she wants you to 'hunt' her?

No. But neither had my ex-girlfriend when she started behaving the same way as the current girl. I would have never known until she admitted. But I would have hunted her if I had openly expressed my - what you call it? - desperate neediness. Which may also simply translate as hope. Seeking forgiveness. Seeking reconciliation.

Have you tried? Has it worked?

Haven't tried. But I will. If LOA is right at its core then I should try.

Has she told you she wants to be with you? Has she told you she loves you?

She had told me she wants me to be her new boyfriend. She had also said, "We would be a good couple." and often spoke to me as in "If you were my husband, I would really appreciate if you..."
All of these in lighthearted conversations that occured months ago.

Does she talk to you all the time? Does she see you all the time at her request?

Yes. She did.

The fact of the matter is, right now at this very moment, she does not want you. Otherwise she would be right there.

What makes you so sure about it? And even if it was true, what has led to this situation? What created the difference between before and now?

It may be my imagination, my use of LOA advice, it may be each millisecond I spend thinking, I don't care whose responsibility it is. I just want to mend this difference and return to where we started or better.

Question: how?

Question 2: by letting her go?!

[Calidris]

You had mentioned that you used LOA to start imagine like you are already in a relationship with her, however, you did mention that once you started doing that you started calling her love and sweetie because of this.  I think this might be where you went wrong.  You jumped the gun a little too fast.  What you needed was to just continue making her comfortable with you as a friend and take things slow and know that when the time is right things would progress.  But you might have jumped the gun a little bit. 

I also noticed that you pick apart everything that everyone on here is trying to help you with.  You seem to break apart the whole paragraph and say why the advice isn't right.  Now I know that we don't know the full situation and we don't know the full extent of your feelings for her or her feelings for you, we are just picking up on what we can see from the words that you use when you write and it is coming across as being desperate and fearful with the outcome. 

Take some time to breath and just focus on positive things.  Now I know that you don't want to hear this but perhaps you should stop all contact with her for some time so that you can work on making her better.  If we can pick up on the desperate vibes from your writing, I'm sure that she can pick up that vibration better when she is close to you and that just might push her away.  If you distance yourself and work on your own evolution and being happier and positive and at the same time being a mystery to her, this might help you.  Iwant to talk to my ex everyday butI know that I am still not emotionally ready for that because I do want him to much.  So I need to work on me and realize all the things that I do deserve in life.  We all deserve to be happy, we all deserve love, and we all deserve what we want.  So focuson youreslf.  In order to have a great relationship each person must be a great indivindual on their own. 

[7up]

Calidris, tuche. Could not have said it better myself!

Yeah, read everything you said and it's the same thing over and over and over again, whining on and on like a broken record. She did this, does this mean that? But I saw this, do you think it's a sign? The universe brings to you, what you are predominantly thinking about. Obviously her, so you see a wedding, hear people speaking her language. It's not a sign - you were thinking about her and because she has her own free will to choose not to be with you. The universe is giving you the best it can.

Peace, yet again, take responsibility for your actions. Everything you're putting out, you're getting back - and look where you're at.

[Galia]

I'm 100% with 7up and Calidris.... couldnt say it in a better way!

Thanks people!!! 

[miss_giggles]

I've been reading a few posts lately, and for me there is one key thing which keeps cropping up............in order to achieve what we want, we must make ourselves feel and be happy for LOA to take affect.

I have been guilty of thinking of my ex and admit i still do, but i am trying to draw back my energy from him and re-focusing on myself, as i think this is this best thing for me.

of course, i still have feelings for him, but i am learning to love myself again and get back that person i was before all the negativity came into my life and caused the breakup 6 months ago. for me, im doing a general search and just trying to fill myself with love.

i have been too attached to the outcome as ive been impatient and longing for it, so thats the message ive been putting out. to detach means to be happy, calm, believing, expectant and just knowing its ours without any worry or fear, which seems to be where a couple of us are falling down, but as the others have said, work on u and your happiness.

[guruinterviews]

The film on LOA says that we should behave and feel as if we already have what we wish.
If we wish a specific person, what does this involve?

Does it involve talking to her/him as if she was already our partner/consort?
Wear a wedding ring?

Guys... I know my questions sound a bit strange, but I really am confused on how exactly to use LOA and so I ask questions. I'd appreciate if someone answered...

I remember reading that you should sleep with enough room in your bed for someone else. This way, you'll act as if you're really already sharing the bed with that someone special!